Today was one of those days where as the day went by, I felt more challenged.  Had some physical stuff going on.  And far too much drama in this house….  Everything just got to me tonight – I couldn’t take it anymore.  I sat out back an hour or so after sunset and cried.  And cried and cried and cried.  I just cannot think of anything different or new to do to change my experience.  Even tonight – my mate had a fire pit going and while that was something different to change things up – the experience we see every day continues.  And it is THAT in which I am at my “wits end”.

Local employers require masks – or the jab and I am NOT doing either of those – obviously.  Work at home has ended in a standstill as those opportunities require a dedicated quiet work space – and I don’t have THAT.  So I sat alone – crying – talking a loud to myself – feeling like I was losing my mind – needing a hero.  Assistance.  R E S C U E.

And I didn’t give a rats ass how “weak” or “spiritually incorrect” that sounded.  It is my truth.  And I OWNED IT.

The whole “go within to get out” is just another g.d. narrative.  I’ve been going within off and on for 30 dayem years.  I know every mistake I have made – every poor choice.  I know every time I have pretended something didn’t exist.  I know my “issues” and my trauma’s and all that.  And all along the way I have made every honest traditional and alternative attempts to HEAL MYSELF.  And tonight I reached this place where I knew – where I accepted – I am in the wrong environment to heal.  I am in a prison.

I am in hell.  And that ain’t just a figure of speech and it ain’t just about my own inner hell/prison.  L I T E R A L physical experience here.

And it feels more confining with each passing day – with each moment of crazy playing out.  Life has been a challenge for me all along but the last 17 months have been too dayem much.

So I sat in my chair – allowing myself to feel all of this……And I had a moment where I felt myself just surrender in this place of “this is who I am this is how I am and I know exactly what I need and I accept I feel lost – absolutely lost in everything”.  And as I did this, I leaned back in my chair in a moment of UGH DONE SURRENDER FUUUUU and looked up and saw something – a large round white object that seemed to move – seemed to come from the east and headed north.  At first I thought “this is for me” but immediately dismissed it as I did not need hopium.  So….Star?  No – way too big – and close.  Plane?  Yeah perhaps – but no flashing lights – it was very large, roundish with “jagged” edges all around it – like a field (looked like a flashing star).  Anyway I get out of my chair as it disappeared in the tree branches – walk all around my yard to look for it as I thought if it is a plane I will see it to the north (direction it was headed).  I never saw it again.

ISS, I thought – refusing to think it was anything special just for me.  I go inside and look it up – it won’t be visible in my area until the end of this week and at that – won’t be visible until the early AM hours.

I kept thinking back to that object I saw around this time in 2009 (July) – how it looked similar.  Could it be?  I don’t know.  It’s honestly too painful for me to open my heart and let that all in.

I shared the experience with my daughter and she asked how I felt when I saw it.  I don’t know – I did feel a slight feeling of “you are not alone –  hang in there – we’re almost there”….So maybe some hope?

I don’t know.  I will KNOW when I SEE and EXPERIENCE.

For now I remain in this experience – watching things play out – feeling I have absolutely zero control in the HOW or details – the only control I do have is how I deal with all of this – and even that now is a challenge.

So…..that’s what I got today.  Just wanted to share in case someone can relate.

Love,

V.

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Something “heavy” cleared last night.  I experienced it (that “heavy”) in that dream place.  My dreams were of their attempts and my standing in who I AM and saying NO.  I deflected a coiled snake several times – which was attempting to either bite me or “stick” on me – perhaps both.  They tried to make my image into something that was not Me – and I affirmed that the next day (or when I got out of their dream space b.s.)  I would have even MORE of something they attempted to take.  When I got up, I noticed this “MORE of”.  It was subtle – but obvious to me and had me at first pause and say “What?  Oh, wow – interesting…”

I am currently rethinking the whole concept of god.  God to me simply is another word for Creator.  Creator of energy – that is always there. Intention behind that creation is what is most important.  When T and M are said to have said on stage (according to the Gunner’s Wife lip read) about God and the Angels (on inauguration night 2016)….well that has nagged at me – bothered me only because of the use of the word “god”.  Religious concepts trigger me.  But now that I have gotten clear on that term and what I feel it indicates – I feeeel I now see WHO they were referring to:  Home (and that is different for each of us).  Our original lines.  Those who created our original form.  This human vessel – this compromised one – was as we know designed by those with evil/destructive intention.  The form we had PRIOR TO – was designed by those with benevolent intention.  And THAT is where I strongly feel we are returning to.  At least that is where I feel “I” am returning to.

Again – an individual experience.

Then I reflected on the timeline theory – how I have been feeling we are ending a timeline.  Robin Bollock (sp??) said similar last week (which I shared here) – how we are at the end of a timeline minus 1 hour.

That one hour has stayed with me.  Today I had a visual – a feeeel that came with it.  I saw a timeline circle – the two points hovering together – about ready to meet/connect – which corresponds with the two timelines playing out and they converge into One.  I KNOW these parasites are streeeeeeetching out theirs – doing all they can to delay the convergence point – which eliminates their timeline/agenda permanently….but there is that other energy that keeps pushing it forward.  Bill Wood’s words come to mind as I type this – wondering WHY THIS IS TAKING SO DAYEM LONG – how the two chess players know the end – each have so many moves and all the loser can do is delay the end – but that end still comes – in part by our Awakening and that energy as well as energy by Home (our Origins).

Some are saying A Storm Is Coming – which is nonsense.  The storm has always been here since the war began (to end THEM) years ago.  We are, however, I feel in the thick of it now.  The Doors (awesome) song “Riders On The Storm” began going through my mind this morning – which I feel the title and lyrics are quite relevant…now.  Morrison – beautiful Soul who was another one “used”.  Said at 12:22 on this 22 day.

I will leave you with both.

Love,

Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm
Into this house we’re born
Into this world we’re thrown…

There’s a killer on the road
His brain is squirmin’ like a toad…

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UPDATE:  I forgot to share this.  The energy over the weekend was light and I had good physical stamina.  I felt that start to shift last night and by midnight it was palpable.  I resisted it – pushed it back – nope, not having it.  And yet here it is – occupying our space.  It’s like having an unwelcome visitor in your house.  You can ignore them but you still feeeeel them in the background.  On we go – eyes on our prize…

**

We are still here?

They are still playing this game?

Evil is still here with us?

We make moves and they fight back and slow this ending way down.

And people like me ask WHY IS THIS STILL BEING ALLOWED?

U G H!

I had a thought come to me this morning that had me sit straight up in bed – which was not appreciated…

Whenever one of “them” leaves the human host (when the human has been removed at wherever they are being held) – we feel it as those intense energies that build up.  And we see it on the energy graphs.

Uh huh.  Tell me something I don’t already know intuitively.

Full healing is very challenging as long as they are still here sharing the consciousness field in this bubble.

But that doesn’t indicate we cannot keep trying.  Clearing is about all I know how to do now.  Like that cup – we empty it and they try to fill it back up.

I don’t know how much more protection we will receive either.

I have an idea – don’t know if anyone will be interested.  Not much activity here now at the site.  Or perhaps there is and ya’ll are like me – in this waiting pattern – not really enjoying the experience no matter what is done different or thought different and at that – it’s temporary.

Anyway – pass along your need to me – something you seek to accomplish – in words – and I will then in turn share it here publicly.  You can include your name if you want – or not (publicly).  I can share the request anonymously.

Just trying to offer up support however I can.  Don’t know about you but I could sure use it at this moment.

Love,

Victoria

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Spoken:

Written:

Just a brief written share.  I was walking around the house tonight after dinner, mindlessly doing end-of-day stuff.  Suddenly I start singing The Beatles ~ “Get Back”.  I’m singing the lyrics out loud and humming…”Get back to where you once belonged,” I sang over and over……I eventually walk into the kitchen and sang “Go Home”….My mate was like what?  I kind of snapped out of my state-of-mind I had been in singing this song and shook my head and said “why am I singing this song?  I never sing this song.  this isn’t one of “my” songs.”  It was weird.  Just saying as I found the experience…..interesting.

Love,

******

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