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UPDATE:  I forgot to share this current physical experience…..which is no surprise considering my ability to form a complete thought is a challenge not to mention my ability to RETAIN that complete thought is equally challenging atm….anyway my front cortex or maybe it’s just my brain but feeling it in my frontal cortex area – feels like it is being squeezed – much in the way I imagine we “feel” when we are traveling out of our mother’s bodies during birth.  For me this isn’t creating pain – but the pressure is something I am feeling.  I decided to share this with my mate and he said he couldn’t believe I was sharing this as he too felt his head was being squeezed today……

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The energy today was rough.  It was very challenging to be here and be centered and in the heart.  Even when I was able to center myself, I simply found zero enjoyment here.  I have purposefully pulled away from the headlines the past couple of days – other than seeing President Trump’s brother Robert died yesterday.  I feel off about that and others have said the same.  I don’t know if I have tuned into the truth of that or just the collective’s vibe.

I have been saying “The war is over.  I am free.”

All of this “stuff” playing out is absolute nonsense and as I have said, I don’t align with any of it.  I am feeling even more of a stranger here.  That experience really increased this weekend – and interestingly enough coincided with my choice to pull back from the headlines.  Instead I have spent more of my time reading and watching movies – anything to pull as far away energetically as I can from this experience now.  I am letting myself “get lost” in other worlds now.  I have to – for my sanity.

I have noticed whenever I am around any sort of conflict right now or strong emotions of anger I not only detach – I feel as though I get pulled out of my body and stay there until the experience is over and then I can merge back again and find my ability to think, process and respond.

So it does seem that anything that doesn’t align with me brings about an immediate and noticeable effect and I do all I can to create my own space so I don’t have to “deal” with that which does not align.  I simply will not allow any outside “force” power over me and dictate what they think I am “supposed” to do.

I.  Am.  Not.  Having.  That.  Never did like it.  The disdain for it – again – increases.  The power to state my piece (peace) – my needs – and let be what will be – increases.

GI issues continue, although better.  The need to sleep more continues and today I had the knowing this was for a real purpose now – as though the more I sleep the more “merging” I receive to make this upcoming transition/whatever “it” is event easier.  I am currently feeling an increase in my desire to remember what I feel to be my Original experience (what I call Lemuria)…..very much seeking small community memories, stories and experiences….rural…..serene and peaceful…

That’s about all I have to share.  Next I am sharing a video passed along to me by Sister Jules – a dream which sounds like the emit/transition.  Other than that, this little place on the ‘net is pretty quiet at this time.

Love,

Victoria

current “symptoms” of whatever is allegedly going on:  GI issues….burping (my god!!)….waking up feeling tense….strong anxiety/shaking….

i had one of those cosmic synchs about an hour ago.  i was doing something around here when the song “red skies at night” suddenly popped into my mind.  the song felt “close” and it also felt like it was something happening outside of me.  a weird sensation.

so then i decided to get on twitter and notice one of my twitter like-minded “home” friends had done a gematria on her name and one of the g’s that come up was “RED SKY AT NIGHT”…..at first i was excited – and shared it with her…

and then i stopped myself.

i have these moments where i am tuned in….

and i make that connection.

and i get excited.

and then…..life becomes utterly boring.

again.

we have this power.

I have this power.

I AM that power.

so that being the Truth

WHY AM I STILL EXPERIENCING THEIR REALITY THAT I WANT NO PART OF?

the only reason i “feed” it or give it my focus is because i have to, you know, pay to keep myself and family going.  fed.  sheltered.  etc. etc.

when i awoke this morning the song “let it go” was going through my mind – a highly annoying song to me at this point considering i have heard it off and on for about 4 years.  however it was a bit interesting that this time there was a different line:  “turn away and slam the door”.

consider it DONE.

love,

victoria

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If I hear yet again that “the matrix is breaking down” I am going to say – FOR WHOM?

We were awoken shortly after sun rise by pounding.  Apparently our new neighbors are putting in a new roof (grandpa don’s former home).  It would have been nice to have had a heads up so we could have had windows closed, fans on (to hide the noise).  And yet – we are still waiting to get a trench in our yard filled in that workers they hired created.  About 6 weeks ago, they hired people to come and take out ivy in the row of hedges separating the properties.  Apparently there was more ivy than they thought so maybe 10% of the hedge remained so they decided to just rip it all down and put up a fence.  We discussed this with them and agreed it was best.  So when the next round of workers came out to remove the remaining hedges, they dug into our yard, removing grass, dirt and rock AND plants.  We remained reasonable about it.  For the past 3 weeks we were told the dirt, rocks and plants would be replaced.

This has yet to happen.  And now – we have pounding.  And sawing.

As my mate said – when you have money – elite privilege – you can do whatever you want.

We also have our neighbor across the street getting yet more work down on her house (this time her back yard).  She is never happy with her place apparently.  Again – elite privilege.  The workers parked half of their equipment in front of our house when they could have easily parked it in front of hers.  We got that taken care of.

So while for US it appears everything for those with money are carrying on as usual.

But for myself, personally?  Nothing is normal.  Nothing feels right.

I have been seeking some work-at-home opportunities.  Nothing but blocks – but I continue to pursue.  My recent challenge was the website telling me my zip code could not be verified.

I was thinking about the concept that all has to play out.

Why?

Why is that?

What is the POINT of creating further challenges?

What is the POINT of allowing THEIR narrative to play out while OURS continues to be hidden and/or repressed/blocked/controlled.

For all of the gratitude I have, I am also filled with frustration.  You could say I am a walking paradox.

But that is how things run here.

Other than that, I had an amazing, heart-filling dream of a gathering.  Linea was even there.  That provides me comfort – at the time.  Now?  It just pisses me off.  ha  (now that I have had the experiences of today and am in a quiet space, I was reflecting more on this dream.  It wasn’t a dream.  I was able to recall within the feeling.  It was a real experience.  The energy – the frequency – was different – unlike any “dream” I have had before in terms of the energy.  It was literally another version of Me.  It feels quite prophetic. My mind is trying to grasp the concept that Big Me has already had the experience and I am waiting for the me here to play catch up.)

Love,

Victoria

The energy is strange today.  The image I have in my mind is once again a sieve that is shaking off all that is either not needed and/or all that has been repressed/held within – allowing it to BE released and reformulated.  After a day of more or less experiences I felt I was being pushed into or even called into – feeling the pressure to provide an answer right there and then – when I was not in the position to PROVIDE an answer in truth at that moment – by days end I felt a combination of frustrated apathy.  I knew what was needed:  A hard bike ride.  So I set off – alone – in the cool evening and rode hard and fast. Released frustration – well most of it.

Some remains.

We are having to use a pick up service at one of the local stores as they no longer allow for the “mask exemption”.  We have used this service a few times and each time it has turned into a mini disaster.  Items charged that we did not receive.  Receipts not being provided.  Unusually long wait times (as in almost 30 minutes – and this is for items that were already shopped for and are waiting inside the store in some cool location).  Tonight I was the only person in the pick up lot and yet I waited and waited and waited.  Another customer pulls up – on bikes – and their order comes out – an entire pallet of bags.  Me?  Just 2 bags – which finally came a bit after theirs did.  I had items missing – which prompted the clerk to return to the store and pull some off the shelf.  I had a substitute item I did not request (the original substitute item that had been added to my bag just 45 minutes prior was mysteriously missing).  I was told “someone” took one of my bags so items had to retrieved again.  So I wrote corporate, shared my experiences and said I would be shopping inside their stores from now on without a mask as their “accommodations” aren’t working for me.

This is all so ridiculous.

As I told the clerk tonight who brought me my groceries – I am so ready for this nonsense to be over.  The response was “well be thankful we finally have an awesome female running for vice president.”

Uhhh….

Well, let’s just say my censor button was full on broken at that point and I asserted who I supported and why I do not support those entities – male and female.  Kind of felt good.  Usually in person, around these parts, I keep it to myself who I support politically – especially among those I don’t know. Tonight?  I just no longer cared.

I no longer cared what people think.  I no longer cared to keep my opinion to myself.  I no longer cared to support nazi policies that tell me I cannot shop inside one of my normal go-to stores unless I mask up.  I no longer cared.  If I am not harming anyone with my choice, I WILL be living as the Free Being I Am.

Perhaps it’s because of this dream I had last night – we are that close and are making choices – redefining ourselves as we go and arrive closer to that turning point….

I feel this dream has some significance to it…

I was approaching a plane that was getting ready for take-off.  It was not the plane I had bought tickets for but I was contemplating on getting on this particular plane so I could “get home early”.  The attendant said that would probably not be an issue.  However, something about that plane I couldn’t get past.  I felt that this was not how I wanted to “get home” and that I could wait just a bit longer.  So I took my belongings and left the boarding area.

Interestingly enough, there was someone – an unknown male (to the me here now) – had been sitting in a chair waiting to see what I would do.  When I got up to walk away, he followed.

I feel I had this experience because I was reflecting (after listening to Lisa Harrison’s latest last night) on those who are choosing to exit at this time.  The experience showed me – I can and will wait.

Love,

Victoria