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I have one of those fidget-spinners.  They’re actually very effective – for people like myself.  They create a soothing sensation – often times immediately.  I took mine out in the world today and I am happy I did for more than once I felt distracted and/or overwhelmed.  That’s me – the woman without the mask, wearing sunglasses (because bright lights in stores are just too much) and spinning my spinner.

The hypocrisy continues here.  Signs everywhere with the raised fist.  People gathering together in protests while vocal supporters continue to tell the rest of us to keep a distance from one another until this pandemic is over – which in my area (and others) the talk is not for another year – at least.  The message:  STAY HOME – unless you want to protest.

My mate continues to talk to anyone who comes by for a quick visit about what’s going on – totally wasting his energy – these same good intentioned folks who just will not see a different perspective.  This is not about the virus.  This is not about black justice.  This is about winning an election.  If this were about a virus – why hide the truth?  Why not release the cures for all disease?  Why after all of these other pandemics are we in total freak-out shutdown mode?

Black justice?  When have we had a fair justice system for ANY of us?  White privilege?  How about elite/$$/sell-out privilege?

As this goes on, many lose their jobs, their businesses.  My brother is an employer and has had to lay off 25 plus of his staff.  When will they return? Not likely – if the business even survives (as it their primary customer are the school districts).  Many went out of business here in my town – these businesses boarded up with sad looking plywood.  People are needing another $$ relief package – but McConnell is saying the earliest relief would be passed the 3rd week of July.  J U L Y – when people need help NOW.

So why this unnecessary struggle and suffering continues – I don’t understand.  The only way this could ever be ok is if there is a HUGE liberation/reward for all who have suffered.  But for how many would that be too late?  I saw some attempt to convince people to trust the plan by saying imagine if these arrests were to happen now.  There would be chaos. Suicides.  Businesses and jobs loss.  Riots.

Uh – excuse me – but aren’t we already there?

So….I continue to spend most of my “time” detached….observing…but also keeping that discerning eye open ready to change my focus if need be.

Fidget-spinner in my hand….

Love,

Victoria

so there is talk going around that George Floyd may still be alive and may be the first public unsealed indictment/arrest….well that would certainly wake up the masses….we know one of the Q drops ended with HELLO GEORGE….we know Obama showed an image of Floyd days before he was allegedly murdered…and we know there is often double meanings with the drops…

so who really knows….i continue to feel less into all of that and even talking about what’s going on now – analyzing it – trying to figure out what’s what and what’s going on – i just cannot feel it or get into it….i do feel we are in the storm (contrary to some saying we are in the calm)….i feel like i’m just some spectator watching from afar….

this white privilege is just another narrative….i am white….i have been denied jobs due to my gender….due to my being white (i wasn’t hispanic and spanish speaking)…and i have had people in my community assume because i am white i am privileged and thus less in need of help than someone who is an immigrant…..employers at times have these quotas to fill and that can deny those not of the minority status employment….i hardly feel “privileged” here….i’ve faced loss of friends, family due to my opinions….being white has not protected me from health challenges or trauma as a result of living in this realm nor has it afforded me the kind of care i deserve….and i don’t need to talk about my life long battle to “make a buck”…..

as terran cognito said so beautifully in his recent piece – i didn’t feel the need to go destroy property when i have encountered these situations….

we have ALL been deceived here….all of us traumatized to varying degrees….this is in many ways hell (at the very least a poor copy of original earth with a lot of hellish substances sprinkled inside) – and so i don’t feel the need to rub my face in what i already know to be true and what i have seen and experienced myself for my 50 some years here by watching all of this stuff play out…it now immediately repels and drains me…ask my mate….the last 2 days when he has dove in to the headlines and tells me “you’ve gotta come see this” i put up my hand and say “NO”….

i also don’t feel the need to fight….maybe at times i do – but energetically i feel other things are going on with me…and to be honest at this moment i simply desire to be in my home – candles lit – enjoying some nice music, ice cream and watermelon as i surrender into the last scenes of this experience, knowing the reel is about to run out of film.

this is a good one by gina maria colvin hill…..the docking station is gone…whatever “it” is – left the building….lol  it’s almost as though they are removing their items for the big boom i just saw in my recent vision that is upon us…

so be it.

love,

victoria

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