hello all of You’s~
i don’t know if it’s the solar winds and all of that or the gentle detox i’m undertaking – or the chemtrailing – but the body is feeling a bit challenged today. achy. cough and congestion/inflammation. i picked up some activated charcoal to add that in. taking it slow of course. tonight will include foot massager, body massager and an epson salt foot bath. for now i am doing stretching which alleviates the ache/muscle tension.
i also know i am purging so not just a physical detox but emotional/mental and whatever else is me/ME – or not OF me/ME. as my girl said the other day when i began to cough “you are releasing a lot of emotions right now, mom”. she’s quite tuned at times.
earlier today – in the shower – i heard “forgiveness is the way out”. out? out of “here”? this realm? no. out of the portion of my prison i have created. as i have continued to say – this is an inner AND outer experience. it is no coincidence that i heard this at this time. for the past week i have been doing the Ho’Oponopono (i love you. i am sorry. please forgive me. thank you.) my focus has been me. when i do it with solid focus, slowly, finding where tension is within my body, it is very powerful. i also know included in this process will be forgiveness for ALL. for those moments of judgment i hold for others. i am experiencing that very intensely right now. for me it’s based on my own fears. if we’re not all on the “same page” or hold the same perception, will that only delay the flow of the awakening? for the event itself – does it really “require” a majority in order to occur? if so that could translate into those refusing to awaken – to anything – as slowing down the process and i have moments of overwhelmingly feels of “IAMDONE IAMWEARY BRINGIT HOMENOW”. it does seem that for each moment of inner calm i experience as a result of a message of pure love, the questions pop up again. which to listen to? the voice of the inner being? the voice of the brain? love. fear. both on the same spectrum – fear always seeking relief which IS love.
still figuring out that one. if there is a “figuring out”. perhaps allowing both to just BE is the answer – for me. i recall many years ago reading in The Peaceful Warrior that life is paradox. indeed it is.
i am grateful to say ~ thanks to some of you!! ~ that the fridge is full of fruit and greens and healthy foods. on the table for dinner is organic grass fed ground hamburger mixed with green onions, celery, cranberries and spices. a pure “go with the flow”. hopefully it will taste good. also have chopped sweet potatoes cooked in butter and a fruit/coconut milk smoothie.
’tis the season to eat be do healthy. with the occasional cookie thrown in.
still feeling the intense need for solitude. quiet. that has not lessened. nor has my ability to be around drama in particular conflict – conflict when i am witness to it and not actually engaged myself. i am tuning in on that one to see where the healing/releasing/understanding is. i have focused on detaching when i am witness to conflict and have seen the challenge for me with that. as i was receiving the message on forgiveness earlier today, i also felt/heard that to the Soul – conflict is unnatural. In fact, all that is not of the Flow is unnatural. And I am really beginning to tune in to that – see it and feel it. I really saw this today when I was wondering what to do with my time. Do I do something I felt I had to do – to get it out of the way? I began to fall into that when something within stopped me. Go with the flow. And if it is a choice that leaves me feeling tense within – that is not the flow. So I said “I will tend to that when the flow is right.”
I laugh now because I don’t recall what that “doing” was so it was obviously not that important.
I leave this one with the lyric: the weather outside is frightful but the fire is so delightful. Grateful for my home and the warmth and protection it provides. And grateful for all of you who continue to come here and offer your stories, your insights and your support. I thank you all for that.
Love,
Victoria
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