well it was a doozy today – for me at least. Â between the feelings of anxiety and heaviness and just overall BLECK – it was a good day to stay in bed and sleep.
i told myself it isn’t mine. Â it’s them – those who are crying out for their drug of choice – trapped – knowing it is the end. Â it’s quite pathetic to me – they are pathetic. Â sick. Â not human. Â and yet i hold sympathy for them – a deep sadness. Â so on one hand i think “they made their choice” and another i think “what a waste. Â what a sad waste of energy.” Â and the heaviness of them knowing it’s over. Â so today – having a struggle to feel ME and that was made more challenging in feeling an absolute sense of exhaustion.
being empathic sucks sometimes. Â it really truly stinks.
so i rested – and took a nap – which helped. Â but the exhaustion remains.
so i am just putting up a few things and who knows what i will do. Â stare at the fire. Â rock back and forth. Â feeling the strong need to comfort myself as i would a baby.
i admit i am struggling to find center in this and focus to make some sense of what’s going on. Â so many saying there is no virus – and yet i see people who are obviously sick with something going on – regular, normal people. in my city we now have 2 confirmed cases – both recovering. Â it’s hard to know what to trust when those who DO know what’s really going on are hush on it. Â there are the hints and clues but my inner truth radar isn’t working well today so i don’t have it in me to figure any of it out. Â so – not taking any chances – and remaining at home unless food is needed.
donations were down this month – which i understand. Â everyone is in the “hunker” down space – many have been laid off. Â if anyone can pass along a couple of dollars – that is always appreciated. Â we’ll get through this.
sending you all comfort, support and love.
love,
victoria
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Hi Sister,
I remember 2 years ago, we spoke about having similar lung infections. I had a slight fever and I had issues getting rid of it. This is no different except this was intended to be another insurance policy. Ain’t gonna happen
Love Love Love
i do. and we (s and i) talked about it the other night – how we probably actually had that 2 years ago. all 3 of us did. took weeks to get rid of the cough and for me i had to take fulvic acid at the end – cleared it out in 3 days. i feel you are spot on. 🙂