Well another day where I have been off about the calendar day. Â Each day has a “feeling” to me and this one felt like Friday just as yesterday felt like Thursday. Â The calendar ~ well SOME calendar as I somehow lost the one in our kitchen and have made no attempt to replace it or look for it ~ says Thursday. Â I’m still sticking by my “today is Friday” though. Â In perhaps the New Reality.
The Schumann Spiking today and corresponding energies had me thinking about returning to my Original Self ~ the one who I was before I experienced trauma’s, made some decisions that were not in my Highest or best interest. Â The girl, the Being within the woman who is trusting, deeply kind and compassionate, giggly and silly and even naive in some ways. Â Today I was hit hard again by how much I miss her. Â I don’t like this apathetic, doubting, distrustful person I have become over the years. Â This is NOT WHO I AM. Â It happened slowly. Â I really didn’t even notice it. Which is why I didn’t notice it until much later.
I want her to come home again. Â I want her to come out and play again. Embrace the world again. Â Embrace life. Â Adult Wise Woman there when needed or necessary.
Along these lines I received some help in this area this week.
We have new neighbors, very close to our home, who also have a little girl. Our girl and their girl have played together several times already. Â The joy it is bringing me watching these two girls play is growing. Â Expanding in my heart. Â It is bringing me such pure joy in seeing my girl so happy. There has not been a girl her age in this neighborhood since we moved here and oh how we have intended – both of us – for a girl her age to move in. Â Just one week ago, at the end of the rope was I in trying to arrange play dates with other parents. Â Block after block kept falling in place until I said I had to let it go and Surrender. Â Trust. Â Allow that the Universe would provide an answer to the intentions of both myself and my girl for the right child for her to play with. Â Be besties with.
One week ago this was.
And now today we have created this, manifested such a situation. Â A perfect situation. Â I don’t know who is more excited over this – me or my girl. Â Slumber parties. Â Giggles. Â Dress-up. Â Barbies.
And while I am receiving a gift in expanding my joy again, opening up my heart in new ways in observing the happiness in my daughter, I am also receiving a gift through my interactions with the mother. Â She radiates kindness, maternal softness, joyful enthusiasm. Â In the past I would likely have pushed the experience away. Â But today I find myself savoring it. As we spoke about the city north of here ~ where we both lived and hung out at the same or similar places ~ I could feel my inner girl being return. Excitement building. Â A few times we both giggled and got excited ~ just as I did when I was younger.
IT Â WAS Â AWESOME!
It hit me quite hard how powerful this was for me. Â How healing it was for me. Â This gift from the Universe is not just about my daughter. Â It is also about her mama.
At this point, whatever my Higher Self and Source send my way to heal, I welcome for nothing is more important to me than that I release all of the stuff that has kept me from Being Who I Really Am.
This is one of your Best! So resonated with me. Whenever I feel joy, it is when I was a small girl, playing outside until it grew dark, building make believe forts, pretending, envisioning, just having fun.
me too, deborah. 🙂 that and coloring.
********OH MY DEAR>>>you clicked your heels didn’t you!!!*******
Never loose your childhood innocence ..it will sustain you..watch your girl and her friend..observe the sense of ease and aw they have..it is in you already…you just misplaced it for a moment…no worries..ask your wee self to come out from under the covers..you want to have a tea party..find a fancy hat quick…it’s all ’bout being fancy at a tea party.
“there’s no place like home” 🙂