Today is rough. Really rough – energetically. I felt “something” come in around dinner time last night and even though it was subtle – I noticed it and it felt like “poke incoming”. I said “no” and dismissed it. But – about 2 hours later my mate suddenly became violently ill. He’s just coming out of it. It was a long, disturbing night. I saged. I resin’d. I intended out my a$$. Nothing was lifting that energy. I had a lot of physical discomfort. Yoga, stretching, CBD did NOTHING useful.
Today – I’ve both gone within and occupied myself with activity to soothe and ground this intense frustration I have felt all day and nothing’s working. I haven’t been able to walk away the frustration and pain and agitation I am feeling. Haven’t been able to breathe it away. Cry it away. Haven’t been able to stand in the beautiful sun and breathe it away. Today – it. is. always. present. Them, perhaps? My own “NO SERIOUSLY I AM DONE WITH THIS AND COMMAND NEW I AM SO DAMN DONE I HAVE NO DESIRE TO EVEN TALK ABOUT IT”? Likely a bit of both.
Like all of us – I want my freedom. And today the longing is at a new level and my ability to still hold the line and be patient is broken. lol
I want to know where I am. I want to know what happened and why I have felt my entire life that I don’t belong here – I don’t fit in – and want to go Home. I want to know the TRUTH of everything I desire to know. And I want access to all of that wonderful removed/repressed healing modalities and technology so I can heal my body and get this damn trauma out of my mind and body for good. I keep working with my body but it isn’t enough.
I am just full of angst today and as I said – nothing is working to remove it. So…..I am stuck w/an experience I do. not. want. And THAT is me accepting myself fully. Girl is pissed off and f’ing done and in no mood to hear love and light it out of me words of new cage sheot.
But thus is how it is here in this prison – in moments. La la’ing it away today just ain’t working. So I am being with myself as honestly, authentically and gently as I can. I did notice the big fake orb in the sky called the moon is almost full. Perhaps that is part of it. Who knows. Whoever does have the full on truth – whoever is controlling all of this – ain’t gonna share so as always we are left to put together our own pieces of the puzzle which tonight, I am in no mood to do for as I said today I want all of my questions answered without hindrance. Bread crumbs aren’t sufficient. I want the whole loaf of bread presented to me INTACT.
For now I am going to binge watch some little house on the prairie.
Love,
V.
Sweetie, today was a terrible day. Im so sorry you experienced it like you did.
At least I now know I am not alone.
The corruption in this nation and the world has come to its apex. We must clean up our acts and embrace our collective power or succumb to mind-numbing apathy. Those of us who are awake and willing to look at the truth all feel ill at ease. The usual distractions now fall short of creating comfort.
Prayers and meditations for transmuting the darkness.
Om Namah Shivaya
I have been with fever, aches and pains, and now cough, since xmas eve. Now my wife caught it. it’s been terrible. still have it. I hope he is better.
Yep. 👍 You said it. Also been hit with a lot of traumatic memories coming up and depression. St. Johns wort and valerian and CBD not helping me either. I’m not buying this “it’s coming up to be cleared” or “shadow work” crap anymore – every time these memories surface, they cause new waves of grief and loss, which is not healing, it’s just food for the evil AI. I get that it’s squeezing those tentacles extra hard right now because it’s dying and panicking, but aren’t we supposed to have some kind of help or protection during all this?! Anyone? Bueller?! 🤷 Apparently asking for literally any relief is asking too much and “not trusting the plan.” 🤮 Ugh. Whatever. Anyway. Feels are right there on the same page, sis. This should already have been over. Before the election. Definitely by now. These delays are BS and even with the airport dreams, I’ve lost faith and patience. Every morning that I wake up here, I could scream. From what I see on Twitter, others are feeling this too. I would say hang in there, but we shouldn’t have to. Not one more minute. Especially not if it’s to give bad people “one more chance to do the right thing” as I’ve read. NO. Screw that. They’ve blown more chances than we ever got, at our expense (extended time of delays and suffering). Enough already!
Yes! This crap that keeps coming up – i see it the same way. I’m REFUSING to deal with this trauma they put in me just to give them more whatever. A good “fuck this” followed by spitting can be effective. ANd yep absolutely not doing this “for the all” crap. We are obviously not yet free and that is all I want – FREE to DO what I want without anyone or anything stopping me. Some of us have been awake longer and as such some of us need that support. I have been calling on HELP but not getting a thing. When I get out – I am going into solitude w/my family. Not really feeling so lovey as to having some gathering with folks who, in my feeling, let this happen to us and didn’t do nearly enough to assist. What took ya so long are the only words I have. I send you comfort!
Thank you, and wishing you comfort as well! ❤️ Lol and in total agreement on the “fuck that” and spit strategy – I’m on it! 👍😁
Also 💯% there about the alleged “after party” with peeps I don’t like so much right now and trust even less. I don’t blame you for peacing out and going to greener pastures. You’re nicer than me. I’ve already warned the folks “upstairs.” If I get up there and find out they could have helped and didn’t, or could have yanked me out sooner and didn’t, “for the sake of the greater good,” I’mma go on a freakin’ rampage and bust some heads. Not even kidding. For those who heard our distress calls and did nothing or ignored us completely, as the amazing Kris Godinez likes to say, “they can go fuck themselves with an unlubricated baseball bat.” 🤣 (Speaking of trauma, if yours involved narcissists, check her out on YouTube, she’s hilarious and has helped me a lot.)
thank you – i will check her out. (go ‘f themselves with an unlubricated baseball bat. that is one of those catchy phrases to have in the back pocket just in case…lol)
I hope everyone feels better soon, sending good thoughts and strength to you and yours.
The evil ones will try to take as many as possible over the cliff with them.
They will go over screaming their hate to the universe.
They will never repent, nor stop, as long as they are alive.
One can only hope they will cease to be, very soon.
thank you carole. he is well again. 🙂 and i agree with everything you say. kicking and screaming for attention until they’re over their OWN damn cliff.
Very glad to hear your mate is recovered 😊
Yes indeed – cliffs of their own creation…
I have ceased trying to awaken those of my aquaintance who continue to espouse the lie…
They have had 4 years of my time and effort now, and, if they are still in the matrix or chose to return to it (remember Cypher, in The Matrix?) at this point – so be it.
My energy is now consciously reserved for assisting those who see, who feel, who know the truth of this existence.
In this form my resources, are not unlimited, and I now reserve them for those who choose to fight evil, as opposed to those who either watch from the sideline, or are actively supporting it.
FB banned me for 30 days for referring to someone as a ‘troll’… I now patrol the threads randomly, looking for those who harass, and bully – then report them.
The enemy can have its ranks thinned as well – use their tactics against them.
Being in the ‘penalty box’, does not make one ineffectual.
For what it’s worth………. A song I wrote a while back
DEAD CULTURE
Roll back your shoulders, stand up straight,
The only way to beat it; is to let go of your hate.
Pull yourself together; fix your stare ahead,
Don’t be afraid, it’s all in your head.
Success or failure, are much the same here.
So few people living while most keep on dying.
Some people dance and some people pray.
Is it just black and white or is it all shades of grey?
I go back to a time I can hardly remember now.
Back to a time when my people stood tall and proud.
The power that we had is forgotten in memory.
They’re killing off our culture by perverting its history.
The spectre of defeat lurks boldly in your eyes.
I see the same fear that would break the back of me.
Giving off the air of positive uncertainty.
I see the same fear that would take the heart of me.
So far beyond, your glazed over eyes,
There’s a storm that rages, from another time.
Reset the crosshairs; start aiming for the bullseye,
Turn your back on that life, because you cannot comply.
What’s the matter with the picture we see today?
What’s the matter with the stories we hear today?
Standing by and watching a dying creature.
My life was racing by waiting for the future.
Fanatics all around are trying for destruction.
Will there be a resurrection of this dead culture?
Lines get drawn and so, condemning voices grow;
To cut the ties that bind, that stood up to the test of time.
Sold on blatant lies, to please the ones that hide;
The master of the game, think, you know the name.
What’s the matter with the picture you see today?
Are we the only ones that are holding it all at bay?
Hold your Ground….HOLD YOUR GROUND!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OA8wkz0uGLE
STAY STRONG PATRIOTS!!
B Boru
now those are very powerful lyrics/words! thank you! you are very gifted. 🙂 (i have the lord of the rings dvd’s put aside to watch – this is another nudge to watch them again).
If you haven’t come across Cyrus before….he is THE man! The AI man!!
I thoroughly recommend you all watch and listen carefully, this man is a true Prophet of our times and a genius 😉
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hzg7Rw-mX4k&feature=emb_logo
B Boru
Two things pop into my head when I watched the link…
Gemantria – Myk Hyn = AI
The robotic ‘police’ machines I have seen beeing tested…
No doubt the left want to defund cops, so they can fund police machines – that THE LEFT can program.
They are allowing Dem cities to go to Hell, so people will welcome their new machine cops.
The left are a poison eating away at Western civilization.
Funnily enough, my Youtube feed has been packed with Chinese historical dramas this last week – and poison was the prefered method of dispatching enemies in the royal court.