today i am feeling in the exact same space as i was 10 years ago – at a standstill as to what to do next with my life. Â 10 years ago this time also happens to be when i had that “close encounter” with what felt like, at the time, to be a visit from family from Home. Â i had no words for it – and no conscious knowledge of new earth, the event, etc. Â just an experience where i was told “see you soon”.
soon. Â ….. Â deep breath…..
i made a couple of new choices today. Â try try again, right? Â i had this thought that if i came out (around here that is) and said i am a non-binary, gender neutral unicorn identifying immigrant from guatemala i would have a plethora of help and assistance. Â not really exaggerating either. Â where help and compassion is tossed these days by the general public – system included – is disheartening.
so a lot of deep breathing mixed with crying today. Â i’ve asked a local massage therapist if she would be willing to let me make payments or engage in barter. Â my body is really screaming at me now to get this taken care of. Â and the list of medical needs my mate needs addressed is just overwhelming at this point. Â his eye surgery alone only pays 80% (cataract removal). Â i just, you know? Â feel trapped in a cage.
onward i go – as always….and some day, as i continue to say, i will no longer need to address this.
love,
victoria
