Weird night. Again. I slept better but I’m still exhausted. It’s a deep Soul tired that doesn’t get remedied by sleep/rest or spiritual practice. Temporary at best. And I would like to know exactly why that is and why it’s been so constant/intense the past couple of months. I get overwhelmed if I have to add in one extra chore some days. Some are doing great and saying “BRING IT!” Not this one. We’re in a war with an invisible enemy and the prize is our Soul – which then leads me to think that’s mostly why I’m so tired at this time. As the war has amped up, so has our battle at some other level we cannot “see” here. But we feel it. My brain struggles with that – it wants to see. It wants proof other than my physical symptoms and feels/hunches. That’s how I operate. In fact when I go too far off into “woo woo” space my logic kicks in and says “return to center”.
I was awake around sunrise – got up – got something to drink – returned to bed and went within searching for some answers. I “get” we only see around 10% of this reality. But that doesn’t pacify my growing need to know. To understand. That is OUR RIGHT. To borrow KP’s phrase – the biggest PITA for me continues to be the children receiving the poke. They have no choice – no voice – at least not in places of power. How can any of this been allowed to happen? The Divine in me says ENOUGH. NOW! Tuning in what I heard/sensed was our concept of “death” and “physical harm” here is an illusion. We’re in that experience of deception. Outside of this prison place is where truth and freedom are and as such, that’s why we have such a limited (not of our responsibility or “fault”) understanding.
Ok, I thought – I can see that.
But it still doesn’t take away from the pain ME HERE NOW is feeling. And millions of others. And that is where my struggle is and likely will remain until this all ends. As I tell my girl – only love and connection with one another is forever. Everything scary and wrong/unlawful/evil comes to an end. And even saying that at this point isn’t providing much comfort now.
Some are hanging on. Many just want to let go. I don’t really want to do either. So I get up – chop wood – carry water – remain open to Divine Guidance – distract myself – take care of the family and do it all over again the next day. Until.
Love,
V.
******
What you got when you tuned in, sounds like the same message I got from trying to read on why God or the white hats or whoever is behind the holdup, was allowing this to play out and holding us here instead of letting us out of this mess now, as we deserve, when the innocent are suffering. I got that what we are experiencing now is a “lesser of two evils” kind of scenario, and was done because the utmost important thing was getting everyone either out of sim world or at least to a cleaned up one (free of the virus), rather than saving them “here.” Which I think sounds a lot like what Lisa Harrison said, now that I think of it. 🤔 I could sort of “see” it for just a second, what looked like a fast tracked crossing-over of a group as a rescue operation rather than a tragedy, that had to be timed a certain way and so had to have a plausible scenario attached for it to work. The closest thing I can compare what I saw to was that old movie Millennium, where people from a bad future arranged fake airplane crashes and sent the people they took through portals into other times, to save them. I may look that up and rewatch… I got chills, so I think I should.
I am also feeling the exhaustion still. Slept until after noon. Could have gone right back to sleep. Getting poked while I sleep, with things that hurt me in the past, or old insecurities about myself and this avatar being judged on looks. The AI is scraping the barrel, to go that far back, trying to pester me. I’m trying to find ways to occupy my mind, but honestly, I’m just killing time until I can catch my “flight” out. One way or another.
thank you. yes – i have also felt and heard this morning too the lesser of two evils. i also kept feeling (and forgot to add this too) the issue of time – how it is so different here how we, well, live. be. do. and our sense of moments passing by – our sense of past present future. it’s just different out there. it’s far more complex – this reality – and the clean up – than these compromised human minds can understand. i keep thinking higher mind – bring in the higher mind to “get it”.