I don’t know where we are on the timeline – sure not on that “good” one. The energy is absolutely horrid. I want to hide in bed. Earlier, I was so agitated that I had to get out of bed and walk around – trying to calm that inner part of me that is SCREAMING for relief now. All I got are sweets that I pop like a f’ing junkie, movies to distract (but don’t really work in that I can get lose but then when I stop watching I realize “oh damn I’m still here in this reality”), walks that still carry the inner ugh feel, followed by pressures to still participate in the 3D world that offers nothing useful to those with my kind of specific needs (my god the stories I am reading), realizing I am out of places and options to call – all items on the list checked off – backed in a corner saying “I cannot do that right now”.
I am still in this sense of mind-numbing shock that what happened in Venezuela was allowed TO happen. What happened to PLG? Time Travel? Certainly, this event was seen. And storms continue to pop up with tornadoes in the states. Nothing makes sense to my mind or my heart. NOTHING
I saw this. It spoke to me – deeply. It paints the picture of exactly where I am now. And I don’t know which way to turn – so I stay in bed longer than I used to. I put off showering as long as I can (for it feels too heavy for me – even though I feel better than I do – that is classic nervous system dysregulation response). I have asked for help non-stop for 3 years now. I’m still waiting on the blah blah educational training blah blah so I can become a blah blah writer and maybe have a chance at increasing my income even though I know where my brain is and it is injured. Psychological torture. Images show no difference between brains when it comes to trauma – including war. And my mind feels like I have lived a long ass battle of torture. Because – I have. There is no justice here. Nothing real. Things were supposed to have changed – outside and in my personal life. Did any of you know I even tried offering to pay someone to promote my work and she was interested and willing (and able as it is what she does on the side) but once she saw my work I didn’t hear back? I wrote back and inquired – twice – hey, are we still good to go on this? What are your thoughts? Nothing. A far too common energy I receive when I put myself out there. I TOTALLY get why so many end up on the streets. Isolated. This reality is toxic as fuch – far more than I realized. And finding reliable, trustworthy people is hard. My donations dropped off. My website hits are down 46%. Even my coffee page is receiving no comments. Nothing. It’s like I no longer exist. And that is an incredibly terrifying experience for that part of me that just wanted to find my place, share my gifts, live my life and feel connected to something.
💖
V.
A beautiful moment of survival and Hope after such a HORRIFYING “event”:
I verified. It’s legit:
How much longer until it all finally collapses?
WE ain’t supposed to be doing this alone:
GROK approved and confirmed:
This is one we’ve been waiting for to go BOOM:
If predictions come true, June 25 could see a dim star in the night sky suddenly brighten in a once-every-80-years event. The star, called T Coronae Borealis (T CrB) and nicknamed the “Blaze Star,” is a recurrent nova located about 3,000 light-years from the solar system in Corona Borealis, a crescent-shaped constellation now visible. Here’s exactly how to find it in the night sky.
Current status: in an unwanted relationship with a toxic reality that operates on power over and neglect. Yup, that about covers it:
She’s got that last part right – ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
