A Brief Reflection ~ Who Am I and WHERE Am I?

 

For the past week or so I have noticed a new inner “churning” which bring forth the following questions:  Is this real?  Am I doing this?  (which then then leads to the thought and knowing “I am NOT supposed to be doing this”)…

Examples:

Recently at the store while getting some items in the bulk section, I suddenly felt a huge sense of frustration within as I knew – and said out loud – I am not supposed to be doing this!  I am NOT supposed to be living this way!

Cleaning the bathroom I stopped and felt and thought – Who is doing this? What part of me is doing this?  (i sensed a part of me was somewhere else – having a good time – lol – at least living the way I am SUPPOSED to be living which then leads me to say ok what is this “supposed” way?  I don’t know for sure – just a feeling based on how I WANT to be living how I KNOW I have been living).

I am under no further illusion that I am not FULLY ME.  I know many are having this experience.

I also know many are having this recent experience of feeling like a trapped animal in a cage on the verge of something HUGE – knowing you need to do SOMETHING but not knowing what to do nor how to change the feeling.  A long time friend of mine who is one of the most practical people I know is having this experience and it sort of surprised me to hear him having it – and then again, not all so surprised because behind his earthly practical logical side is a Huge Beautiful Light (which is why we are such good friends).

The sky is also very strange tonight.  I was outside earlier putting the towel on the battery – 2 1/2 hours after sunset – and the sky was like twilight.  I didn’t need a light to see the battery.  It was also unusually warm ~ sweats and a tank top were all I needed.  I took some pictures which I am linking below.  I kneeled on the ground below our tree and aimed straight up into what I was seeing as a pink sky (facing south).  My camera first showed pink but each time I took a picture, all that showed up was brightness.

So I feel “something in the air”.

My mate senses time suddenly sped up tonight.  (I am just releasing this “brief” reflection is not really brief).  I feel like I am on a roller coaster right now ~ the deeply programmed lashing out (unaware) – trying to grab – poke – and I keep riding on by.

Destination Home.  Which still feels unknown.

Destination Unknown.

But I am (having to be) ok with that.

Love,

Victoria

UPDATE:  Speaking of “something in the air” and “time speeding up” – just 6 minutes ago we had cloud cover and quite warm temps.  Now?  A sudden wind from the east pushed the clouds away and it is VERY cold.  The moon also looks rather tilted.  In the back of my mind I keep hearing “this is just a simulation”.  I want to now know:  WHO IS IN CHARGE.

a good song sharing how i am feeling now….

that bright area – is pink.  (as i have said i have a basic little canon digital camera so you will just have to take my word)

5 minutes after the above picture was captured – this is how the sky now looks.

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