I don’t like how I am feeling ATM.
I wish I had someone to just sit with me.
I feel I am failing my child.
I want to give her so much more.
She deserves more.
I want to give her the life she wants – only I can’t right now.
I want to say “sure honey we can go there” or “sure I can send you there”.
Activities (that are paid for).
Money. Healing. Two things I NEED to come in to break me out of this situation.
I can’t do this living the way I am. Things aren’t moving fast enough. I can’t live with this much trauma inside of me, keeping me trapped the way it is.
I can’t handle this financial crushing anymore.
I feel like I am failing. An uphill climb that is getting harder for me TO climb.
if I could go back in time I would in a second and change things.
but I can’t.
and that is pushing me to a mental breakdown.
i don’t like it when I am alone with this. in silence.
i don’t like it when I am shut out.
i don’t like feeling I am not in control.
i don’t like hearing “this is just going to take time” (to heal) when I don’t have that luxury. when my daughter doesn’t have that luxury.
i want a miracle. for her. for me.