When you’re in my position, desperation growing more each day, the pressure of needing this reality to become affordable again so you can effing get ON WITH YOUR LIFE (like others are telling me I need to be doing/should be doing/just do this just try that UGH STFU – not wanting to understand where I am and who I am – more trauma/ptsd than I realized – so good at pretending was I – doing basic tasks like decision making such a huge challenge it leaves me in tears at times – and when I am told “you’re fine you’re strong” – UGH SEE ME WHERE I AM because my inner experience is not matching the words) while still inside this place – you will take anything some moments – ANY THING – to bring in a sense of Hope. For as I KNOW this experience is both an inside AND outside experience. And when outside weighs on you daily – when debt and money are f’ing crushing you regardless of what you do different – that has an impact on your ability to find center and peace. I’m f’ing so done playing this 3D whatever it is game and I have no energy to master it. Navigating it all with my daughter who is as in need of change as is I am – but holds a different perspective – same wish – but not the hope – well that sort of shit keeps you up at night. Enough is Enough. Tonight I saw this and simply said “thank you.”
