Being awake is hard as hell some days today isn’t it – especially while we are in this period of WAITING for things to shift into NEW.Β Some sort of public accountability.Β A return of some purchasing power so we can actually begin to LIVE again the way we once did.Β Some clean air and water and skies.Β Jesus – In some way.Β I have moments where I ask “Why did I wake up?”Β What was the point if I feel I’m just in this ongoing holding pattern?Β Is there a way out of this?Β Multidimensional abilities.Β My Soul.Β Where are you?Β What are we doing?Β Fucking TELL ME SHOW ME.Β Where do I find the reality where I can actually afford to live and thrive in?Β Where can I find that space where there is no gender confusion and people look HUMAN and there is no covid shedding to deal with or people who cover their faces out of fear?Β I mean, where is this place?Β Because everything in me continues to feel repulsed by this reality, and I long to be out of it so desperately – I no longer feel that sense of home – not that I ever felt it – but at least I had periods in my life where everything felt settled.Β And now I feel I am on edge in unfamiliar energetic territory where I get moments of relief before the whatever it is I don’t like here comes back in.Β Yesterday was a nice up day – easier to create – more energy.Β Honestly, the only real “relief” day I have felt in weeks, if not months.Β Then the matrix came in with an attack, and I woke up around 4:30 a.m., and the entire room smelled of burning metal.Β Happens now and then – started about 2-3 years ago but back then it was an experience I could count on one hand per year.Β Today?Β It’s almost weekly and ain’t nothing around here changed.Β Anyway, I had to shut up the window – smell filtered throughout the house, so no real safe place to rest.Β Blasted the air cleaners on high – after 2 hours, the smell left.Β Leaving us all with sinus and throat and ear issues today.Β I’m done with this shit of being poisoned here.Β DONE.Β And I don’t know how to escape it.Β The energy of today aligned with last night’s whatever it was that came in.Β If you’re a person like me, you get what I’m saying.Β I’m seriously over trying to explain my experience as me here to anyone who doesn’t “get it”.Β You know?
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Victoria
3:30pm Iranian time
