Category: Daily Notes

The level of fatigue, body discomfort and nausea is really at a peak today.  It simply sucks today to be here.  I can distract all I want – that inner frustration and agitation is still there screaming at me to “DO SOMETHING” to “GET ME OUT OF HERE”.

Another date was given for “10 days of disclosure” set to begin tomorrow. We will see.  Two years – we hear dates – see them come and go – and then are told to stay the course.  Hang in there.  Go within.  And oh my very favorite today – let it go.

Let what go, exactly?  My attachment to this prison?  I’ve done that as much as I know how – off and on for 4 years.

How do you “let go” and be who you want to be when there are more state imposed restrictions than ever?

Fight it?  Alone?

Really?

Our state gathered enough signatures to recall our governor and the state said “sorry you didn’t collect enough”.  Now what?

Our local co-op has now blocked me on twitter because I reached out to communicate and called them on how they violated their own policy and discriminated against my mate over his medical disability.  We received some form letter from the national association who essentially told us to work with our local store.  We called and reached out to over half a dozen civil rights attorneys without one getting back to us.  How are we supposed to “work it out” with a law-violating entity who refuses to cooperate much less communicate?

And yet I am supposed to just let it all go and let evil and the agenda of fascism continue to intrude its way into my life, violate my freedoms and my right to live peacefully and travel/go/do as I see fit for MY OWN experience?

Would anyone just “let it go” if some terrorists entered your land and began destroying your property?

Yeah, I think not.

Let it go.

Shove that narrative.

I am also shoving the narrative that the “ending” is going to be scary.

What, more trauma?

Love doesn’t operate that way.  EVIL does.

So once again evil is getting its way.

As I strongly affirm – I don’t need to see evil to know it’s there.  I can only detach so much.  I look outside and see people in masks.  THAT is enough for me to know evil is still around.  Some of us get very uncomfortable seeing another in a mask.

So….once again….my only idea that feels best to me now is to raise money and get outta dodge.  And I would need a lot of funds to do that as my mate is physically disabled and I have my own cognitive/mental issues that impede our ability to pack up this house alone and move.  We need help to accomplish this.  I need a new life and I need to begin working towards that now.  Anyone good at creating Go Fund Me pages and would be willing to help me and my family?  Please?  

Thank you.  Thank you so much.  I really don’t know how much longer I can sustain this energy.  If we were surrounded by like minded people in an area w/o mask mandates, that would be very supportive now.

That is all for now.

Love,

Victoria

I was reflecting on all that is being seen earlier.  There is a video going around that I am seeing pop up on twitter that is alleged to show how far down the rabbit hole the evil is and had planned here.  I saw some asking “do I need to watch this?”  There was fear in those words.  We don’t *need* to do anything.

I remember the first time I felt evil at a physical level.  Cold.  Calculating. Once was enough.

I have gone down many rabbits holes over the last 30 years.  Each one simply leads to another.  While I appreciate what that journey did – helped me in my awakening – I wonder if I needed to explore as much as I did.  I’ve always known within – Sensed – evil runs the game here.  I have always felt off about the experience here.  And I have carried within the memory of the war.  Do I know everything in detail?  No.

Do I want to know or even need to know the details?  No.  At least not now.  I have enough trauma in these cells.

I know what is ok and what is not ok for me and I don’t need to read someone’s words or experience to know that now.  In the past, due to my fear and doubt programs, yes – I absolutely did need that validation from another.  But now?  No.  That “need” (or false need) is fading.

And for me it is simple:  I want evil’s influence gone completely from my experience – regardless of that location.  Here.  At Home.  I just want my Freedom and Full Abilities returned/restored so I can get on with my Experience as ME.

I’m the type when watching a movie that is intense, whenever something evil, deceptive, violent is going to occur, I usually cover my eyes.  Not because I am afraid (when I was younger, yes – it was due mostly to fear) – but rather because I know it isn’t something I want to experience.  I’ve had enough violence.  Why put more visuals in my mind when I don’t HAVE to.

And at this point – as “evil” continues to reveal itself – I don’t want nor need to give it my attention – especially of the fear/shock kind of reaction. Evil thrives on being seen.  It’s like a disease.

So I remain an observer of what’s playing out – focused on those things I choose to experience and remembering ME pre-hijack and becoming that amazing Being once again.  But I am now sensing the difference between what I really want to focus on and what “evil” wants me to see.  I hope that makes sense.

Energetically, I do feel something switched yesterday.  I just got the image of a stuck wagon getting a strong push forward out of the muck.  I felt this yesterday as a sense of relief – lightness – even when doing mundane tasks (and yesterday was full of such things).  The Light at the End of the Tunnel – that’s the best way to describe the experience.  I feel it is there for all to see and feel – however that looks.  And the beautiful Lisa Harrison left a comment here saying she felt something huge yesterday and is very excited. I’m curious like a persistent child with stuff like that – so I hope she leaves more detail.  If not, I’m sure we will hear about it on her livestream next Tuesday (assuming she will do one).

That’s all for now.  Going to share a few things I have found intriguing next.

Love,

Victoria

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Last night I had what could be called the strangest/longest night I can recall having.

First I went to bed early – crashed hard too.  But then woke up an hour later and I was wide awake.  W I D E   A W A K E.  I don’t like that.  lol

I also realized I was shaking all over.  I had already taken CBD oil.  Why was I shaking?  I didn’t feel afraid or particularly anxious – but there I was – shaking like a fall leaf on a tree.  So I climb out of bed, go into the kitchen, notice the clock says 1:11.  “Very funny,” I grumbled.  I took some magnesium/trace mineral concentrate, put it in water, drank it and returned to bed.

I waited for sleep to come.  While I did, I felt an inner nudge – Big Me (my best feel/guess) ask “what is your best trait?  What about you do you like best?”  I remained quiet within – felt – reflected – and felt this was another ongoing experience where I was tuning in and Remember Who I Really Am – and sifting out those parts I’m not.

My humor.  I suddenly just knew – my humor is my favorite quality of myself.  I then began going through other traits in my mind but within felt no need to do that.  Just needed the “more favorite” piece.

I noticed the shaking had subsided, so at last I was able to drift off to sleep.

Then came the dreams.

First I feel I tapped into someone who just allegedly committed suicide.  There was a middle aged man in my dream named Steve (Steven) and there was a young girl there who was fighting with him in some way.  The names got confusing as did the rest of the experience but I walked away from it – thinking “not my monkey” – just knowing I didn’t need to take on this experience.  When I shared this with my mate, he told me about Steve (Bing) and his suicide and how his children esp. his daughter are fighting over his estate.  

I am not venturing further down that rabbit hole so I will just leave the link for anyone interesting in learning more.

Then I was in an old childhood home – searching for my own space – which I finally found.  I was able to turn on the lights I wanted and the music I wanted.  The song?  Boston – Gonna Hitch a Ride.  Check out the lyrics.  The chorus is particular interesting for what I have already been experiencing…feeling….wanting:

Day is night in New York City
Smoke, like water, runs inside
Steel idle trees to pity
Every living things that’s died

Gonna hitch a ride
Head for the other side
Leave it all behind
Never change my mind
Gonna sail away
Sun lights another day
Freedom on my mind
Carry me away for the last time
Oh yeah

Life is like the coldest winter
People freeze the tears I cry
Words of hail their minds are into
I’ve got to crack this ice and fly

Gonna hitch a ride
Head for the other side
Leave it all behind
Never change my mind
Gonna sail away
Sun lights another day
Freedom on my mind
Carry me away for the last time

Gonna hitch a ride
Head for the other side
Leave it all behind
Never change my mind
Gonna sail away
Sun lights another day
Freedom on my mind
Carry me away for the last time.

Yeah…..  Love it.  Thank you.

Then a bit ago, as I am prepping dinner, I wanted to hear some music so I turn on that little transistor and hear – AGAIN – Tears for Fears singing “nothing ever lasts forever” and “so glad we’ve almost made it”…..

And when I woke up the songs on the music channel soundscape were messages from Home and Almost Home.

And THEN (talking like my daughter – lol)…..last night when I arrived home and was sharing my songs-in-the-car experience with my mate, and how I recalled once Brother Rick passing along a message from Clair saying my freedom would come with my music.  For some reason last night that popped into my mind.  In a totally Divine Synch, moments later, Brother Rick texts me telling me Clair had just popped in to say the wheel was about to switch (or something like that) – as in all that has been going one way is about to switch to the New.

So I wrote back saying WOWSER – and told him what had just popped into my mind and the music experience and he texts back later and says how funny that was as when Clair came through he heard music playing and that never happens.

So…..Oh yes one last thing….Last night while I lay wide awake shaking and tuning in, I also heard/felt the desire to Remember how we communicate.  Original communications.  Do you think we really spoke in words the way we do now?  I don’t know, I thought – laughing to myself.  But I do – in some small way I do know communication is different.  We use the term telepathic and that holds truth.  It also involves the heart and energy and sensing and feeling.  Eye contact is used too.  Touch.

So perhaps there is verbal in the new – I feel that – but also most is non-verbal and this time we all REMEMBER and Know how to utilize the non-verbal unlike today which as we know with any relationship leads to frustration when we don’t pick up on the non-verbal stuff – which is the majority of our communications.

Just as we are ALWAYS creating – we are ALWAYS communicating.

Off to enjoy my version of a traditional spaghetti factory dinner – homemade and with some quiet as our little chatter box is enjoying dinner with her bff at their house.

Let me know what experiences you are having now.

Love to you all,

Victoria

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First I woke up with a song playing in my mind.  It’s some song from the 70’s – from a movie.  I just don’t know the name of the song or what movie it belongs to.  I’ve looked – came up empty handed so I am letting it go.  The name can find me.

I feel I am filtering out my life – finding those moments that created an inner experience I want to keep.  Take with me.  ??  As I have shared here, I have been watching a lot of movies lately.  Given I pretty much stopped watching movies several years ago, this is very “unusual” behavior for me.  Watching each movie, I scour the lines and experiences of the characters to help me “recapture” some part of my “lost” self.  It’s been intense and the feeling to do this has been strong.  I’ve tried watching a couple of movies the rest of the family wanted to watch.  There was nothing to see for me and so I could not get into the movie.  And even watching these movies I feel guided to watch, I am often fast forwarding scenes or rewinding to find the “right” moment to capture.  It’s rather bizarre, but I’m going with it.

And what IS “normal” about any of this experience at this point.

So if that isn’t interesting enough, my child, whom I have not told her anything about why I am suddenly watching movies again, told me she’s been having memories come back from her life so far here – good and bad. She said she feels like she’s being called to remember the good and leave the bad behind.  I looked at her – eyes wide – when she said this and she just gave me her sweet little smile and shrugged.  I told her she is brilliant and very tuned in – and to give attention to those prompts and memories.

One last share…..only just 15 minutes ago, I sat down, alone, to have a small bite to eat.  Appetite continues to be down, so at first I was just going to eat in silence but then something prompted me to turn on the radio.  So I turn on our little transistor (I love those – we have a few) and let myself be guided to go to a particular channel.  “Give A Little Bit” by Supertramp is on. A nice song – not a favorite – and after a few moments I thought “eh maybe I will turn the station” but something said to stick with it.  I thought of Grandpa Don – he popped into my mind.  And then, for the very first time, I actually hear the following lyrics:

Now’s the time that we need to share
So, find yourself, we’re on our way back home

Going home
Don’t you need, don’t you need to feel at home?
Oh, yeah, we gotta see

You gotta get a feeling
You come along too

W O W.

I looked out the window – tears came – I went into the whole experience.

I feel I am picking up pieces of myself – taking those things I want to keep with me.  As I type those words, I feel a warmth spread over me – those tears in my throat – and a smile on my face.  Just W O W.

Earlier today I did some tai chi (re-learning what I once used to practice 22 years ago – yes – 22 years).  As I did I could “see” and “feel” how this really is an individual experience now.  So go with whatever comes your way. Follow those quiet, gentle (but persistent) prompts.

That guiding Force is there when we go slow and start from Within.  We’re goin’ Home.  (was just guided to add those last 3 words)

Love,

Victoria

Earlier today, while I was in the bathroom getting ready, my kiddo was lying on the floor in the hallway next to the bathroom door, feet on the wall, spinning and moving the way young bodies do (and are allowed to do)…I smiled as I watched and listened to her.

She was asking all sorts of questions.

One question was about me.

“Mama, when you were a little girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?”

I reflected on this rather than give her a “rushed mama” response.

“I wanted to be like Under Dog.  I wanted to be a writer, journalist and a Hero who exposed evil and helped remove it.”

She smiled and said “Kinda like you’re doing now, huh?”

Bingo.

I guess in a way I am living that life I saw of myself when I was 7.  (Although I wanted the super powers of Mighty Mouse too – who at the time – according to a booklet I made about myself in first grade – was my Hero.)

Just wanted to share something sweet tonight.  Off to watch another movie. Last night we watched “Rear Window” with Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly. A good pick.

Love,

Victoria

Once again, when I hear of others experiences, I will often think “oh yeah – I remember thinking that” or “feeling that”.  It’s like most of these moments of clarity are so subtle and arrive quickly – I struggle to remember them and share them here.  It’s the big KAPOW moments I can remember – like the two huge purges I had yesterday and again today where I felt I was purging ancient deep trauma’s that, at the time, fractured my mind. Perhaps my mind is unfracturing.  If that is possible.

Lisa shares she does not feel/see the election happening.  Ditto that.  I continue to feel NOTHING “normal” about that time frame.  The visual I get when I can tune into that time period is nothing here is the same.  Nothing.  Every thing has changed.  It’s like after a massive explosion and all has changed – there is this silence that lingers as people adjust to the new way of being for the old is gone.  And as she says – when that moment comes – no matter how much we have HAD IT with this place – our minds are still going to be blown.  I have felt that too.  That W O W moment.  Oh yes – a part of me is feeling to “get prepared” for that moment.  Part of that, for me, has been to tune into me on the outside – ask for help – doing a virtual “reaching out” of my hands.  Tonight I reflected on these energies coming in – esp. those moments where I – we – feel suddenly very hot – that feeeels like high frequency from our real bodies streaming here to prepare for the final Merge.

Today – I sat in the bathroom – looking at myself and saying out loud:  “I don’t really know who I really am.  I am just a character inside this place.  A personality created inside this construct.”  That is when I felt – when it happens – I am going to be like W O W.  There was a sense of acceptance and readiness with that – like a prepping that was sent to me.  Lisa speaks about this at the 55:00 mark.  Two days my mate said to me “I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

How can we?  How can we really know who we really are here inside this construct – and when not all of us is even within these bodies?

She speaks of some big Reveal – something huge – that ALL will see. Nibiru?  What Rose says – asteroids and space rocks?  Could it be the 3 Gorges Dam that bursts?  (I still feel some sense of protection around that….although Q has said 4-6% lost forever and it’s going to be Biblical.)

And yet – is that a scene ALL will see?   I don’t know.

She speaks of three levels (layers) – 1-3:

1. National Politics w/the focus on the US – dem vs. repub which morphed into good vs. evil
2. Global – China vs. US
3. Wuhan Asteroid and Trump Asteroid

That last one was a WTF REALLY??!! moment for me.  Yes, Victoria we are not in Kansas anymore and  There is a Wuhan Asteroid.  “My friend and colleague Brenda Wilson alerted me to the movement of the asteroid Wuhan and its synchronicity with timing of the current pandemic. I am sharing her insightful article below.  In brief, the asteroid Wuhan (discovered in 1980 at the Purple Mountain Observatory) entered into Capricorn in early January shortly before the Saturn Pluto conjunction.”

Wow.  More “proof” of this experience being a scripted movie.

The Trump Asteroid I haven’t found but it could be what they are naming the one set to literally impact “earth” the day before the Presidential Election.

I look at how Trump has spoken of his presidency and the election….Past tense when speaking of “have had been their President”….and how the election results may never be concluded or how we may not have an election….and it just adds to the storyline of where I feeeeeel this is going…..everything changes here….and all go to where they align/want/need to go to Create again in that Original State….which can be a process….quickly or otherwise….

She speaks of being squeezed…..Y E S although for me that squeezing went to “ok we got this bundle pulled up let’s PUSH it out now”….

Also….being prepped…..yes….feeling that….prepped for some role, she said….hmmmm…..I have had dreams of meetings where I am getting information….where is it going?  What is the info?  What is my role (other than the one I am “playing” now)?  I don’t know at the moment.

Drinking more water – yes.  Yes, definitely.  Some times it is intense as though I am pregnant and you absolutely MUST drink NOW.  Of course this experience is similar to birth as we are birthing a new Us again.  My appetite is down too – quite noticeably in the last 2-3 weeks.  In fact I have moments where I will eat simply because the clock says so even though I don’t feel hungry.  At times the food is needed – other times, not really.  Eating a lot of fruit atm.

I am feeling I can feel myself more on the outside.  Sometimes I wonder – if I tune in enough – I can unplug myself.  It’s like the veil between us outside and us inside is very very thin now.

As she said about their plans – they are being seen.  The visual I had several days ago was someone (deep stater 1) picking up a pile of dirt – tossing it to another deep stater (#2) while saying “here throw this at ’em see what happens”.  Dirt is tossed – it scatters in the wind.  Deep stater 2 says back to Deep Stater 1 “quick give me another one”.  More dirt is tossed – same thing happens.  Although I will say – this mask wearing crap has continued far longer than I thought and I question – do I just want to avoid the drama and get food delivered or do I want to fight this nonsense and walk in sans mask. That will just be based on how I feel, again, atm.

Interesting about the rabbit holes…..just when you think you HAVE IT – there’s another one to venture into.  Today – I am at the place where I know everything here was a lie so I don’t go down those rabbit holes as I once did. And really – this is really a movie – an illusion – where REAL LIFE is on the outside so in the end, what do any of these rabbit holes really prove OR provide other than to help us SEE the very matrix spell we were under/living in?

Also interesting her perspective on Heather Ann and her filings.   Some are insistent this was and is a very authentic happening.  Some just aren’t into that.  I see what Heather did as exposing how they made $$ off of us.  Will her filings manifest into what we want?  I see that as more of an East/Home experience in that we have our abundance returned/restored without money.  Money has been of course the tool of enslavement so nesara/gesara or releasing of trust funds, etc. has never aligned with me.

So the message remains…..follow your own Heart….your own callings and nudges and Let Go of anything and all that does not align with your Heart.

And now, I am off to watch another movie.  HA!  A movie within a movie.  Interesting though how I watch them so much differently than I did in the “past”….

Good evening ya’ll.  As always, I love to hear from you and thank you all for your support.

Love,

Victoria

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Today was hard.  Really hard.  I lost it to the point where I felt my mind was splitting apart.  I couldn’t contain myself.  I had to release.

The usual deep breathing and other techniques continue to not work as they once did.  The ability to deal with any situation that wishes to control me is impossible.  I won’t contain myself.  I won’t be bullied or pushed around.

Why this is all being allowed to “play out” continues to be disturbing to me. What is this?  Version number 2 of hell?  Have we been set up for yet another trap?  Why aren’t we seeing mass lawsuits against these nazi politicians and governors w/their mask mandates?  And where is President Trump with all of this?  I tag him daily calling on an E/O.  Tens of thousands of us signed a petition commanding one.  I see more people than ever in my area masking up – including outside.  Kids too.

What is really going on with all of this on-going programming?  I thought we were supposed to be getting DE-programmed.

I honestly don’t know.  I don’t feel “right” about what I see.  I have been trying to tune in and I am finding that sense of inner peace and truth right now just ain’t happening.  Last night I put out – yet again – the strong desire to get some Truth as to what’s going on.  I don’t need updates of pacification.  I don’t need to hear another stinking word about “the energies”.  I need cold hard truth and facts that I can see, read, hear and verify.

I ditched social media for the most part today.  Too many people speaking a language I can’t relate to.  There is the republican convention that began today.  And you know what?  In all honesty, I don’t give a flying freak about it.  I keep feeling this pushing away and out of that world while I wait….for what?  The doors I continue to visualize smashing open to actually open…?

I began a mental dialogue with myself earlier today while at the park about the energies and what they are doing and stopped myself.  The feeling within – I don’t give a flying freak about that either.

I did manage to glean some free wood while out and about.  So that was something answered to an intent I put out.  I am expecting the same results for the desire to know for certain exactly what is going on on all fronts.

Certainty.  That is what I continue to command for myself.

For now, I am off to take a long hot shower (well meaning people tell me to take a bath – I would if we had a bath tub)…..and watch a movie.  Again. Alone.

Love,

Victoria

I saw our experience here as being inside of a car.

Sometimes we are driving the car.

Most of the time – we’re just the passenger with occasional controls.

If you attempt to steer the car when it goes against the matrix, it will throw a boulder in front of you.  And when you speak out about it, the new age and religious folks will tell you “you must need that boulder so you can learn a lesson”.

There is a difference between a nudge and a poke.

Nudges are gentle and flowing and persistent.  Those nudges lead you to a better place.

Pokes just f’ing hurt and harm.

Today’s news about blood-related plasma treatment triggered me.

And I rather don’t care any more if I do get triggered.

I CARE about truth and freedom and I care about having all of that now.

I certainly don’t align with those who are saying “we have to wake up the normies gently”.

I don’t care about the normies at this point in respect to conversing with them in creating an experience of Freedom.  Most of them are fine with the systems of education, religion, pay to live and the like.  When I have mentioned those things I see and desire, I get “the look”.

What I DO care about and who I DO care about are friends and loved ones and ALL who are suffering and in need of healing technologies and restorative modalities that cure.  C U R E.

I care about people who have cancer – like a dear friend of mine who has a rare form of brain cancer.  While he is using an alternative treatment (cannabis oil) and it is keeping the cancer from spreading, he still seeks a cure.  I’ve been telling him for 3 years now “the cure is coming.  The cure is coming.”

I care about my mate and others who have chronic health issues such as lyme and lupus and god knows what other bioweaponized infections/bacterium they suffer from.

I care about all of us who have traumas that have affected our cognitive functioning.

I care about all who have been harmed by vaccines.

I care about all who have struggled with the pay to live enslavement and the myriad of hurdles put in place that curtail or stop us from having the Fully Free Experience of Pure Creation.

Three years – I keep saying – the cures are coming.  The cures are coming.

For over 15 years I have been saying “the new world is coming”.

I sometimes wonder now if I am looking like a fool.

Nope.

It is not I who looks like the fool.

It is those who support this frigging god damn slow as molasses revealing of all that was hidden.  And it is most especially those who are allowing this process to happen as slow as it is who, imho, are looking like the fool.

Evil operates quickly.  Have you noticed that?

And yet…..Love – Truth – operates immediately – even faster than evil. Right?

So where is Love and Truth?  Where is our Freedom?

That’s what I want to know.

That is the question I am screaming inside out to the Cosmos….to Home….

So today is another challenging day.  My brain is flat out exhausted.  Days like today I pause and reflect how much longer I can continue to do this daily life here in this matrix with all of its challenges and now – due to this covid mask wearing crap – restrictions.  Just today I had to find yet another new place to buy my chicken.  I used to buy it at the co-op.  I then began buying it at Natural Grocers, who use a local source and yet – three times now – the chicken has smelled and tasted like fish.  Something they are adding – fish meal or fish oil.  Whatever – it tastes awful – for allegedly organic, sustainable chicken, and gave all of us GI distress.  So I have had to spend time searching online.

And you know what?

I don’t like utilizing my time like that.

I am so ready for easy flow and for the dayem blocks and hurdles to *POOF* disappear – just like that.

I simply KNOW within how I am supposed to create.  As I began saying several years ago – just out of the blue:  “Where I come from we don’t do that.”

So on I go.

On we all go.

Money is tight as we approach the end of the month so if anyone can donate just a couple of dollars, as always, it is appreciated.  I was able to receive some energy assistance funds that I didn’t know were available to anyone of a certain income level due to the first stimulus package.  If you are in need, check with your local energy assistance program.

Let me know how you are all doing.

Love,

Victoria