I want to share this experience I had early this morning. Maybe it will give some hope to those of us who are feeling weary ~ the inner alarm clock having already gone off (as in “ok we are past the time of our exit/transition/end game”).
I don’t know the dream time experience I was having. All I do remember is waking up quite early – the house quiet – and I felt the most amazing peace I have felt in a very very long “time”. AND – it felt natural. In fact, I would say it is THE feeling experience I can recall having when I had my first New Earth/Real Earth dream some 10-12 years ago. That was the biggest message I took from that dream – the FEELING I had. It was a natural state. I knew that.
Back to this morning. “Something has shifted,” I heard/felt within. I had this knowing that all really is going to transition as we feel and something shifted to add in a “push”.
I stayed with it – tuned in to make sure it wasn’t something artificial – superficial. I went deep with this one (much easier for me to do when everyone else is sleeping!). I wanted to make sure this was not another false hope harvest. I AM SO DONE WITH SHEOT LIKE THAT! That’s why most channeled messages that continue to have us follow the dangling carrot “trick” don’t cut it with me (you’re almost there – just go x y z or whatever “rule” someone with power over energy designates we gotta do)…
No. That energy was not present.
There were no words with this one. No stories. Just something deep within that KNEW – there has been a shift. Something old and dark left – faded – lost power. Not sure – it is hard to put into these superficial words such a feeling experience.
And that is when I began to just know – from here on out – our Truths must be FELT. We don’t “need” words to get the knowing’s. We can use words to help define but even at that – it all comes down to just a KNOWING feeling. We also don’t need words to communicate. Well, for “now” at least – use less words.
This would explain why too many words shared with me now overwhelm me. I MUCH prefer fewer words. And at that – many words are now too harsh for me. If a word is presented to me that has ANY power over energy – I energetically toss it right back to the sender. It’s often not even conscious for me – just automatic. Or say if it comes from my child I talk with her about it and speak of making a “different choice”. I use that term quite regularly now.
So again – what DID happen this morning? Something. Something I would label “positive” for the amazing sense of peace I felt. It wasn’t blissful. I wasn’t even ecstatic. Just peaceful and it went through every aspect of WHO I AM and who i am. “Something” shifted – for the better.
That is all for now.
Love,
Victoria
******
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the ongoing feeling the last few days – THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OVER BY NOW! the charade. the simulation. the manipulation. everything that i know that makes me a feeling being is expressing this. emotional vomiting.
others are feeling this as well. i’ve spoken with a few of you and with others in one of my social media groups – and the feeling is the same. weary. for some of us – an unbearable weariness.
there doesn’t feel as though there is any purpose to this experience of weariness. i know to the core of Who I Am – that this game, this experience has been bastardized and slowed down from ending.
i look at my event tree up the street. the leaves are changing. THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. not given what i saw.
the 20 year anniversary is tomorrow. THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. not given what i saw.
and indeed NOT given what i intended daily ALL YEAR.
i’m without words anymore in expressing myself. sharing my feeling experience which is overwhelmingly tired of wondering WHO IS IN CONTROL here?
on one hand we’re told “we and we alone are responsible for all facets of our life”….but then the same new age speak will then say “you don’t control sheot”.
so which is it?
how do you take responsibility if you have no control?
i realize there is a FLOW to thing. but that FLOW has been plugged up for so long – i can FEEL it HUGELY wanting to BURST OPEN and FLOW again.
i need to be and deserve to be in an environment – a realm – whatever you wish to call it – in an experience where i CAN take full ownership of My Experience because I AM THE ONE DOING THE CREATING and experiencing the desired outcome. NO intrusion. just assistance when/if asked for.
i get that is not allowed in this realm. i get this realm is one of free will which has allowed for the power-over game to exist.
anyone else desperately deeply need to know WHEN WILL THIS END?
and what can I DO TO HELP?!
i ask these questions lately. often.
anyone else not hearing anything when going within? OR going “without”?
the mailman delivered the mail as i was leaving in the car. i rolled down the window and said he could just give it to me in the car. it was a bill and i said “oh crap when will this end??” he laughed. i opened it up. my bill went up another $5.
WTF?!
i had some wonderful new subscribers on my Patreon site – paying people – who left. apparently some of them were under the impression i am Aluna Ash – even though on my first page i clearly state my name and give link back to this site. that is why i have begun capitalizing certain links so people will know – this is not my material. if i could i would insert flashing neon signs.
it’s painful – this feeling of i am not well known enough. not good enough. and these days – not young enough. i know these are my issues to deal with – but damn. living in this realm makes it a huge challenge to fully overcome them – especially when they keep cropping up.
inside i have been crying over this – having dreams of me attempting to reach out and connect and i remain unseen.
i wish people would give the “little guy/gal” a break – some support.
so what if someone doesn’t have half a million followers. does that mean they have less to offer?
of course not! and some of us “old timers” have much to share.
so my message to those who focus on the big channels – give the little one’s a chance! we’re all in this one together – attempting to figure out this puzzle. attempting to assist in ending this game.
and in fact i am going to be so bold to say that not only is this awakening and transition/ending an inside job it is also an outside job.
yes – i DO NEED the outside to change in order to feel better.
i NEED the lies to end.
i NEED the system of pay to live and power over to END.
i NEED all of the repressed tech RELEASED so that i CAN HEAL myself and LIVE in the way I KNOW I NEED.
I. NEED. MY. FREEDOM.
i am finished listening to, supporting and ALLOWING the energy of “nothing out there can affect you unless you allow it”.
just more programming.
and i have had enough of the programming.
and taking that further i have had enough of the bots. i haven’t spoken of this term for awhile as i have been focused on being kind and loving. less judgmental.
but today – the past few days – OVERWHELM! tuned out. clued out. say a new thought and get the blank look. say the unpopular, politically incorrect thing and get the look of discomfort.
i can’t do fake. period. bottom line. line in the sand.
i can’t keep that fakeness within. i have to be me.
intense. loving. deeply caring. and who has no desire to be around any one not wishing to SEE BEYOND THE VEIL OF ILLUSIONS WE ARE SOLD EVERY DAY.
today i haven’t the energy to participate in this game when all of me needs it to END.
as i saw an ANON say late last week: LET’S FINISH THIS SHIT.
i concur.
love,
victoria
******
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before i begin, i want to point out an observation that feels unusual to me – the crickets are singing. and it’s only 3:30pm. sunny. warm. how odd. they don’t come alive with their songs until dusk/twilight. i noticed it after i finished playing the piano. the neighborhood is very quiet today – and so given the windows were open i could hear them clearly.
then i wondered if this is a matrix glitch. maybe the sounds we hear here are “fake” too – part of the simulation. goddess i hope not but NOTHING would surprise me about this makings of this construct at this point.
so….out and about beautiful people have a variety of signs in their yard – many of them about uniting families. ending the separation. oh if only they knew this IS the overall plan unlike past administrations.
if only they knew how many of these immigrants who were allowed to come here and remain were gangs. criminals traffickers of humans/children, drugs, weapons. if only they would read Trump’s executive order’s on this. if only they would LISTEN to the speeches he gives (which seem to never make it to the mainstream media outlets) on this issue.
if only they would see what his daughter Ivanka is doing to combat the issue of trafficking. First Lady Melania as well.
if only they would see how many of these gangs have used orphaned children – trafficked children – kidnapped children – to get into this country claiming the children as theirs only to sell them off to the highest deep state proxy bidder.
if only they could SEE with open mind, eyes and heart the clean-up that is being undertaken to end this practice. YES it means some families are unfortunately separated for awhile. how else can this be done?
this is why the administration, under Sessions, put into plans DNA testing so we can make this process go faster of uniting the families.
and oh if only they would see the plans of previous administrations, under both democrat and republican leadership, to destroy this nation. gut it. turn us into a gang-infested nation where anything goes. where sharia law is the norm. where the constitution is no longer.
that plan was well in place. and WE ALL KNOW IT. it doesn’t take an internet researcher to see this. look around. SEE the failing infrastructure. SEE the millions of jobs that were allowed to leave. SEE the huge uptick in crimes in inner cities in the heart of this nation. SEE the poverty.
bottom line is THIS COUNTRY WAS NOT SOLVING ITS PROBLEMS for the past 3-4 decades.
THIS COUNTRY WAS BEING DESTROYED. PERIOD.
and now she is being put back together again. and like any such undertaking – it takes time. and there will be resistance from those wanting to keep the same destruction going. and as that resistance loses power, it will increase its strength and violence.
NONE of this is invisible to our seeing eyes and open minds.
while i don’t like this focus on VOTE RED VOTE RED – as at the surface it creates division – i see the purpose of this.
the deep state lost a lot of power in its republican base. the majority of the power remains in the democratic side. getting mccain outta there freed up some people who were going along to get along/remain alive – freed them up to come to the side of Freedom. and Truth. we see it happening.
again – NONE of this puzzle is invisible if one choose to SEE beyond the words presented and GRASP the concept that there is a much bigger picture being created.
the picture of FREEDOM.
LOVE.
UNITY.
as i once put to song over 10 years ago – a divinely highest self guided self – very appropriately titled “INVISIBLE”:
when i appear invisible to you… you really are invisible to yourself. for we’re all a part of the same Life. look inside.
before i begin, i want to point out an observation that feels unusual to me – the crickets are singing. and it’s only 3:30pm. sunny. warm. how odd. they don’t come alive with their songs until dusk/twilight. i noticed it after i finished playing the piano. the neighborhood is very quiet today – and so given the windows were open i could hear them clearly.
then i wondered if this is a matrix glitch. maybe the sounds we hear here are “fake” too – part of the simulation. goddess i hope not but NOTHING would surprise me about this makings of this construct at this point.
so….out and about beautiful people have a variety of signs in their yard – many of them about uniting families. ending the separation. oh if only they knew this IS the overall plan unlike past administrations.
if only they knew how many of these immigrants who were allowed to come here and remain were gangs. criminals traffickers of humans/children, drugs, weapons. if only they would read Trump’s executive order’s on this. if only they would LISTEN to the speeches he gives (which seem to never make it to the mainstream media outlets) on this issue.
if only they would see what his daughter Ivanka is doing to combat the issue of trafficking. First Lady Melania as well.
if only they would see how many of these gangs have used orphaned children – trafficked children – kidnapped children – to get into this country claiming the children as theirs only to sell them off to the highest deep state proxy bidder.
if only they could SEE with open mind, eyes and heart the clean-up that is being undertaken to end this practice. YES it means some families are unfortunately separated for awhile. how else can this be done?
this is why the administration, under Sessions, put into plans DNA testing so we can make this process go faster of uniting the families.
and oh if only they would see the plans of previous administrations, under both democrat and republican leadership, to destroy this nation. gut it. turn us into a gang-infested nation where anything goes. there sharia law is the norm. where the constitution is no longer.
that plan was well in place. and WE ALL KNOW IT. it doesn’t take an internet researcher to see this. look around. SEE the failing infrastructure. SEE the millions of jobs that were allowed to leave. SEE the huge uptick in crimes in inner cities in the heart of this nation. SEE the poverty.
bottom line is THIS COUNTRY WAS NOT SOLVING ITS PROBLEMS for the past 3-4 decades.
THIS COUNTRY WAS BEING DESTROYED. PERIOD.
and now she is being put back together again. and like any such undertaking – it takes time. and there will be resistance from those wanting to keep the same destruction going. and as that resistance loses power, it will increase its strength and violence.
NONE of this is invisible to our seeing eyes and open minds.
while i don’t like this focus on VOTE RED VOTE RED – as at the surface it creates division – i see the purpose of this.
the deep state lost a lot of power in its republican base. the majority of the power remains in the democratic side. getting mccain outta there freed up some people who were going along to get along/remain alive – freed them up to come to the side of Freedom. and Truth. we see it happening.
again – NONE of this puzzle is invisible if one choose to SEE beyond the words presented and GRASP the concept that there is a much bigger picture being created.
the picture of FREEDOM.
LOVE.
UNITY.
as i once put to song over 10 years ago – a divinely highest self guided self – very appropriately titled “INVISIBLE”:
when i appear invisible to you…
you really are invisible to yourself.
for we’re all a part of the same Life.
look inside.
you know it’s true.
reach out to me
and take my hand
and we can walk together into Eternity. (Unity)
that is MY WISH for every one of us.
that is all for now.
love,
victoria
you know it’s true. reach out to me and take my hand and we can walk together into Eternity. (Unity)
that is MY WISH for every one of us.
that is all for now.
love,
victoria
******
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well considering i had to pause for a bit to determine the date, i would say the energies are doing their thing to cause my brain to discombobulate.
appetite continues fluctuate from non-existent to food NOW! although the food NOW state is lessening. my child is even having the “not really hungry, mama” issue.
my vision? wow. i literally had a moment in the car where this whiteness appeared in front of my eyes and i thought i was going to go blind. it’s a difficult thing to explain. it was more of an energy experience than a physical experience. something outside of myself. or perhaps the ability to SEE/DO here was challenged – perhaps pulling me away in preparation of REAL. Real realm. Real experiences.
my ability to talk – same struggle. difficulty finding words only continues so i end up speaking some other language – kinda chanting combined w/pointing. i know what i mean. the english language – most languages i would say here in this realm are harsh and often just don’t do the “job” of clearly stating our needs/wishes/wants. and hearing it from other’s is quite jarring to me.
my ability to be around others – even the quietest of environment’s – places i normally go – a huge challenge. sensitivities are off the chart’s today. and this week. fatigue and lack of sleep only amplify of course so i know some of this is due to my own personal “stuff” and not all due to “it’s the energies!”
that’s it – fading away. that is the feeling i am having most of all. fading away. that just came to me. a real struggle fitting in. growing desire TO withdraw.
letting go of connections and attachments. just in this holding pattern – ongoing – really wanting NEW.
I awoke this morning with a residual image in my mind. I was seeing a very tall (as in 8-9 foot) female lyrian-human type being in my front yard. I could draw her but decided to check online for a similar image. I found the image below. Take away the ears and have the hair cut chin length (eyes more narrow too – not so large) and that’s more or less what I saw. She was also very thin – long arms, legs and torso. I didn’t get anything other than an appearance – an “I’m here”. No real sense of familiarity on my part.
A visit perhaps? I am quite focused when I find the time on Remembering WHO I AM. Remembering HOME. Who I am outside of this realm. Not getting much. As the people who put together Schrodinger’s Other Cat’s site – the feeling is peanut butter in the ears and brain. Not much coming through but fuzzy blankness when awake. (I will link that in a bit.) Dreamstate seems to be where the clarity is coming through.
That is until the number’s appear. I had just written one of you about the number’s I have been seeing lately. I hesitated as I typed something along the lines of normally seeing the 7’s but recently I had not. HA! You will see the images below I took about an hour later heading out to do some errands. BAM! It wasn’t just 77 or 777 but quadruple 7. 7777. I have NEVER seen quadruple 7’s. And twice??!!
7777 on the odometer.
Then headed away from a store about 20 minutes later, I see a car with the license place I7777. !!! I stopped the car suddenly and set up my phone to take a pic. I had to pull into a parking space though as I was blocking traffic. I was able to take a pic. It’s rather fuzzy so you will just have to go with what I said.
So I decided to look up the meaning of the quad 7. Here is the first thing that popped up (and out at me): “The number 7777 is one of the most powerful spiritual numbers. Seeing this number sequence signifies that great progress is being made by your self for the new beginning you have always desired.”
Those who have followed me for awhile know I am often longing – combined with some days of pure WHINING – for NEW. New Reality. New Realm. New Earth. New Experiences. New People. New ways of Being/Living/Doing. NEW NEW NEW. It overwhelms me many days. Today though I was at a place of either surrender or resignation. Perhaps a bit of both. At first I thought the 7 sequence was the Cosmos laughing at me for saying “oh I don’t see the 7’s much anymore”.
Perhaps though it was the Love of ALL giving me the message that All I Have Envisioned – dreamed of – been called continuously to have the faith in – going back 20 some years – all of it – is about to make itself known to me. No longer just a desire but MANIFESTING all around me.
Heart – expanded.
Mind. Blown.
Well as much as it can be blown today. In spite of this gift…. I am dragging like a slug today – all day. Another night of interrupted sleep. Child (establishing new sleeping parameter’s and it is taking much longer than I would like it to. She also had a nightmare and needed my comfort. Then mate had a nightmare and woke up distressed so I soothed him.
I sit here now – wanting someone to comfort this tired body of mine. I am in deep need of a therapeutic massage to release the pinched stuff going on and the muscles that are in knots in my upper shoulder’s and neck. Some days it’s just too much for me – alone – in this body – with this mind – and longing heart.
So I will hold close the gift of the 7777.
Thank you for reading.
Love,
Victoria
******
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i forgot i had another Trump dream last night. it was brief and quick. he brought me together with a woman who, like myself, was a local trump supporter and like myself, has felt isolated in her views in this area. she and i shared how we had felt afraid to speak up and share our truth with the anti-trump crowd. the looks we had received. the “oh my gosh you aren’t a trump supporter are you?!” question…. it was then that DJT thanked us both for our support and said something like safety first – protect ourselves and families first. and he then said just by us holding the positive energy of support this in and of itself was effective and powerful in helping keep this movement going, ensuring success.
the experience ended.
we are all part of this awakening process. and we are all a part of this movement to end the controlling matrix system. holding the thought of support as i was shown IS enough.
I had some validation experiences listening to Lisa Harrison’s latest last night. I am going to give it another listen or two – I have a knowing I will receive more “stuff” by doing so. The validations so far….Not just the physical stuff (loss of appetite or ravenous, dehydration, strange sleeping patterns)….but the connection to Home piece. When she mentioned the Dragon’s, Lion Being’s and a 3rd yet-to-be-named/given race of beings breaking through the dome/grid and are now in this 3d frequency….I got chills. A few days ago, my family decided to color one evening. My mate brought out a picture of a dragon our girl had picked up at a local store (she had already colored one). She wanted to color a house and I suddenly wanted to color that dragon. Not just wanted – I felt I had to.
It took me almost an hour. I was so precise in my color choices. I felt like I was coloring – creating – something real. I was REMEMBERING. It was so peaceful and familiar. I’ve included the finished piece below.
I cried over their reaction upon seeing us so clearly – not having the barrier of that frosted-type glass to view us. I cried when Lisa said the feeling from them was sadness, shock AND awe – awe as in how they couldn’t believe how much light we still carry.
Yes – confirmation of how truly horrible it is here. THIS IS NOT HOME. And if you come here FROM home with even just a bit of awareness, you feel this same experience. If your awareness grows, the knowing grows with it. I thought back to my childhood and how often I would watch the skies and wonder when my real family was going to come for me. I would stop and question myself – why would I have such a thought? I had a home. Parents who loved me (the best they could). And yet – I felt a huge hole. The connection just was not there. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t them. It just WAS.
Amazing to me some 40 plus years later this was not just a child fantasy but Truth.
I awoke this morning and felt, again, how it must be like to actually break inside and see – family – friends – what they have been living in. The living conditions. Rather like visiting someone who has been in the hospital for months and is not doing so well. The shock – over seeing one you care for – feel connected with – in such a state…
So….it was no coincidence to hear the Dragon Beings now have entered this realm and my sudden connection w/them this week to color – and remember. I first had a connection to Lion Being’s early this year in the shower – suddenly seeing an image of a Lion Being – male – smiling at me. He felt familiar – very protective. The image of him was gone within seconds.
So….I feel this pull to be connected and at Home….and a pull to be out in the world. I gave that a try today – and while I didn’t have anxiety per say – I could not be around people. Today it feels my focus needs to be on being within my own space only. And I could also sleep a lot now – as in all day – the past few days. WOW on that one. I did get a very strong knowing and feel in mid 2017 that the closer we get to whatever it is we want to call it – THE event…transition…THE thing….lol….the more I would need to sleep.
The skies….Mars continues to be as big and bright as it was in July. It is supposed to recede fully by the end of this month.
As I often say – nothing is as it seems here.
That is all for now…
[wp-svg-icons icon=”heart-2″ wrap=”i”]
Victoria
******
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I need to start out with a feeling share. I see where Who I Am has drawn the jeckyll/hyde character ~ throughout my life. You know the type – they turn on a dime, leaving me wondering “wtf just happened here?” I spent a lot of time focusing on this being a reflection of who I am – the other simply projecting a part of me – mirroring it back to me.
This is the new age program speaking. Today I allow the empowered me to say this is nonsense. There are some people who are in so much pain, they dump it on other’s who are softer, gentler, more understanding. That’s why the monster’s attack the children and more vulnerable as they do.
I have taken apology after apology from these types. I have detached only to let them snake their way back into my space. Today I can fully say ~ they are no longer welcome in my life. My heart gives them no more “attention” to their drama. I wish them well but I do not take such abuse anymore.
I am doing energy work with myself on this. Clearing. Allowing myself to stand in full power. I carry my Eternal Sword now. I do not wish to use it. I deeply desire and resonate with the experience of TRUE “live and let live”. But I will use this Sword if I have to – no apologies. To do otherwise in this realm is naive. That I have learned.
Which brings me to my next reflection….allowing for ~ calling forth ~ a new door. I know energetically I am not aligned with my current location. It provides a quiet, safe, secure space in which to reside. But as far as it feeling anywhere even close to home – where I feel a sense of belonging – I feel as foreign and out-of-place as I can imagine. Attempts at friendships, connection – real connection – just not happening. Not lining up. It pains me at times to see others so obviously at home here – painful because I have not had the same experience.
I know so many of you feel the same.
Do we simply keep waiting for this event/transition?
How much longer ARE we willing to wait?
As I stated awhile back ~ I no longer feel most of us ended up scattered throughout the globe. I feel that was part of the matrix doing that – allowing us in but saying “you go here and you go there”. Don’t want ya’ll in one place. Too powerful that way. Too easy to join up and create the (concept) of a new earth. Too easy to unite and detach from systems-that-be. Let’s scatter ’em – and give ’em the most crap.
Is this how it is? That’s my perception. My experience and that of many of you, given what I have been told.
So….do we WAIT for this amazing New Door to open?
Or do we say “NO” to more waiting – unite – be-do-create the way we want and have wanted for far too long?
Unity. As many of us now say ~ and as one of you awesome Being’s just sent me on a card:
Love,
Victoria
******
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One of you mentioned today you had been triggered after an interaction with another ~ triggering something once thought dealt with.
I thought about that in my sacred space of amazing and crazy insights (not the shower – but the bathroom no less). I was sad – moved – and thought it just didn’t seem “right” for this being to have to deal with this again – especially being such a highly consciousness being. I wondered about this concept that it is necessary for us to relive an old wound – especially over and over again – numerous times – until it is healed.
I honestly know of no one who has fully healed themselves of any issue (impossible to measure, actually). Not that this isn’t possible – but I know for myself and for others I know – old wounds seem to remain – sometimes going years unseen and not felt. But still there nonetheless.
I reflected more. Is it possible that this “we need to revisit a wound over and over until it is healed” meaning we gotta go through the triggering stuff – is it possible this is just another program? I gotta say as I had this thought, I felt something deeeeeeep within my belly – like something had been put there eons ago in our DNA coding- so ancient as in the oldest of the oldest of programs/energy placements. I could also see the color – murky yellow – which is what I see when I have been able to see anything matrix-related (energetically speaking).
Hmmm….
Is it possible we can over-write the program by saying “this is not happening now – no need to revisit it”. When I think of how this basic realm/environment inundates us with trauma – via pay to live (worrying over how to survive, eat, heal, etc.) – to our struggle to interact with one another from the space of love – to the various ways we are forced to compete – to the basics of frequency waves they blast us with (microwave, etc.) to images we see on the various forms of media/entertainment – how do we ever fully heal here?
Well I feel – and this is just an idea with feeling – we can pay these old wounds – these old memories let’s say – absolutely no mind. No focus when they pop up. I am writing a new program by letting the old “gotta deal with this wound – yes again – over and over again” – wither away. I shall have to come up with a name for such a new program. Any ideas?
I see it like someone knocking on the door or calling on the phone. An unwelcome guest. They keep calling or knocking on the door. We keep answering and engaging. In time we decide this is only harming us so even though we may hear the knock or ring on the phone, we stop engaging.
I know a fair bit about trauma, having visited a couple of counselor’s skilled in this as well as reading a variety of books on the topic going back 20 years. Many ideas on how to heal and deal – but the basic overall concept is trauma is stored in the body. And I am wondering if part of our DNA hijack was inserting some code to ensure this happened (trauma getting stored in the body).
So the obvious question – can we undo this?
Can we remove this code?
And…..Can we do it while we are still in this realm?
As I felt more into this I could see how this one little program, if it is a program, is likely what has, more than any other program, energetically tied us to this realm. There is intelligence – consciousness – in a program – regardless if it is organic or inorganic. And I view it like a magnetic force, in this case being some code that says we must relive trauma/deal with it over and over again – which kinda “sucks” us back here easier as part of this program says “not yet healed – return to keep doing the work of healing”.
I hope this makes some sense. If not please let me know. I have a feeling I am onto something and need to let it sit – marinate – and await what, if anything, arises again.
Love,
Victoria
*****
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i was triggered numerous times today. i saw myself react at each instance. if i weren’t so overly tired due to ongoing lack of uninterrupted sleep, i could more properly handle these situations.
i was triggered seeing people post meme’s promoting known child trafficker’s (hollywood elite).
i was triggered when i was sharing something i said last night – a question i posed to another – and was immediately jumped on and questioned why i would even ask such a question.
i was triggered when something i had made was criticized.
i was triggered when i realized a video i shared to a local group on social media – a video that was showing under-cover work displaying local corruption – was no longer available to view – likely removed.
i was triggered when one of our local political leaders spoke to me at the store today (he is our neighborhood rep). i was asking him some pointed questions – which he agreed with me on – my concerns – and yet still claimed he would likely be voting for the same damn mayor we already have – who is tied in deep with the local university – a huge conflict of interest. so here we had a political “leader” who agreed with me on the local university and how it is the elephant in the room – who agreed the local leadership had not addressed the issue adequately – and yet he’s voting for the same mayor again? how do you solve a problem? don’t you do something DIFFERENT and NEW – esp. when the problem is ongoing?
