Category: Daily Notes

I was pretty occupied most of the day taking care of the needs of the youngest family member, which began at 5am  (!!) so I am going to fire this off and go to bed.  Still very tired even after an hour nap at 8pm.

Earlier today I was feeling some guilt and wondering if I “should” be spending more time focused on the trafficking issue.  It isn’t as though I am not aware of this.  It was around 2002 I began down that rabbit hole, heard the story of Cathy O’Brien which lead me to other roads.  However I was not awakened to how pervasive and dark it was until the past year.  Each piece I have read, I feel traumatized and sick to the point where it knocks me out of my center.

As I felt this through, telling myself I “should” be stronger, etc….a message came to me (in the shower naturally).  I had the visual of a baseball field, the field representing humanity’s awakening and transition.  Each position holds its own unique purpose, with no position being above or more important than another.  I “heard” there are plenty of people covering this topic, doing what they feel called to do as this is what they are here to do NOW. It is their purpose.

I then felt this relief so I could tune in and again feeeeeel my purpose in this experience.  That is to speak of Love ~ the frequency ~ the Love Event ~ calling it forth by feeling it, expanding on it AND by sharing my feeel within that this is not something any of us must earn.  Nothing to do other than to ALLOW it.  Part of this is to see the programming (karma, lessons, etc.) and call it out for what it is.  It is such a driving force within me ~ at times I have felt a bit crazy ~ certainly doubtful ~ until I let myself relax into it and embrace it ~ ALLOW it ~ accept this IS what I am here to be doing NOW.  And then ~ I no longer feel crazy. For I know.  This “knowing” has been a long journey full of visions and experiences ~ awake and while sleeping.  Not ONE did I call for consciously.  You could say they just happened to me ~ each one keeping me going on this path ~ even when I have sworn I was DONE.  Finished.  Not gonna focus on something so “out there”.  3D was safer.  Easier.  Saner.

Never has that lasted long for me.  I get pulled back in.  Guided.  Prompted.

Much like Richard Dreyfuss’ character Roy in Close Encounters ~ which we watched tonight.  He had the encounter which implanted visions he could not shake, no matter how much he tried.  And all along he thought he was going crazy.  He couldn’t explain all of these strange feelings and calling’s and visions he was having.  And it wasn’t until he got clear on the shape of that Mountain that he knew ~ he was not crazy.  He got it.  At a breaking point, Life stepped in and let him know – this is REAL.  This is your purpose NOW.

This Love Event IS real.  I don’t know when it will happen (I would like to know) ~ although I have a feeling we can help bring it forth as we are co-creating this.

I don’t know how it will happen.  I just know it is real.  I know I am to talk about it. I know I am to be here as a support person for it.  And I know I can help bring it here NOW.  And I know it is ok to ask others to do the same ~ if one is so inclined.  And as I said, most especially, because I have had a few tastes of it over the years, I KNOW it is my purpose now to offer reassurance to anyone feeling they need to “do” something ~ eat differently or meditate more or be totally healed and all that ~ none of that resonates with me as being necessary (I was given brief moments of the immensity of this ~ and I was not fully healed or eating vegan or even in a high vibe state at the time).

Love doesn’t work that way.  Love is not that way.

The frequency of Love welcomes all.

All who are open to receiving.  Even if the door to openness is just slightly ajar.

Let us call it forth.

Let us welcome it.

Let us be open to it.

That is all for now.  I must stop.  I am quite tired as I said above and my body is feeling funky ~ almost as if I am being sparked up (which is not so comfortable at times).  Serious bloat.  Acidic.  I am suddenly wanting a diet of fruit, rice and root veggies (esp. carrots and potatoes).  And my cell phone and computer are doing weird things at times in my presence, cell phone especially.  I am wondering if it has something to do with these guys (critical frequencies)….This is NOT my area of expertise by any means but when I see spikes like this I gotta ask if this is having an affect on the body:  

Event Love Frequency for us All~

Victoria

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Been thinking a lot about karma today.  I believe I shared my bank card info was stolen.  Or maybe I didn’t share that here.  I am so mentally crumbled at the moment, I don’t know what I have done or where or how or with who. The phone calls this has entailed has overwhelmed my circuits…

This fucker who decided to steal from me, I am learning (to no surprise) will likely never be caught, thereby allowing them to continue their “anything goes” choices in this “anything goes” realm for years, decades.

Where is the karma, I ask.

The only answer I feel within is that karma is simply one of those programs put into the most honest, kindest of people.  If the energy of karma applied to all, then the pedophiles, rapists, thieves, cabal cattle and their ilk would have been rounded up and disposed of by now.

But nope.  They continue with their ugly freedom taking dark shit because this realm, the energy of this realm, supports that.

Certainly explains why the most innocent, sensitive, kindest of Souls experience the most assault.  Struggle.  Sickness.  etc. etc.  I have this nagging feeling that this sick realm hears just one little low vibe thought and tosses back to these Souls (souls like us) what they put out.  But those who vibe low and relish in harmful, destructive behaviors are immune.

We can’t have TRUE karmic experiences here until we have TRUE energies of freedom.  So until then, we have controlled, manipulated experiences.

And I am starting to let myself “go there”, after 52 years, that there is little we can do about it.

New age communities throw the karma mantra in our face when we experience an attack or harm.  They claim to suddenly know your entire thought train that lead to the attack, putting the entire experience upon you.  Blame the victim.  That’s a lot easier than going down the rabbit hole of karma and, goddess forbid, help the victim. Yeah, victim.  I said VICTIM.

I don’t want to be a victim.  I want to be fully FREE to live and be as I WISH. I want to be FREE OF POWER OVER games.

PERIOD.

UGH!!!  (punch punch punch on the punching bag)

This whole criminal system, which IS set up to enable the criminals, essentially told ME, the VICTIM ~ “not much you can do about it.”

How is any of this ok?

I’m supposed to be ok with this, right?

Well, I’m NOT ok with it.

I feel violated.  (how often does that happen?  walk outside, breath the chemtrail air, drink the polluted waters and eat the polluted foods ~ we get violated constantly here)

In the meantime, we await for some magical energy wave.  Oooh, but we are supposed to vibe high enough to feel that.

Rolling my eyes.  Shaking my head.  And holding my heart.

Meltdown today.  I am tired of speaking my truth.  Tired of holding the hope for this event.  Tired of visualizing what I want and desire.  Tired of letting go, allowing only to rinse and repeat.

I have no answers in terms of what to do different.  Next.  New.  I have engaged in that approach so many times throughout my life.  And yet here I still am.  In this moment.  Feeling just plum worn out and not seeing the point of all of these “things” I have done.  Created.

Some say the journey is what matters ~ not the end result.

Yeah, well, not for me.  That’s as ridiculous as saying “is your cup half empty or half full.”

I say the journey AND end result “matter”.

And I say if my cup isn’t full, what needs to happen to fill it up.

Popular sayings ~ just more matrix programming.

Every bit as much for this thing called karma.

A weary ending and a weak offering of love~

Victoria

I’ll get right to it:  I awoke to see someone stole my debit card info and went on a spending spree.  My bank notified me and the usual happened ~ card canceled, new one ordered, claim filed and credit issued.  My exact words were “these fucking idiots picked the wrong account to hack.  I am broke!” No merchandise for the criminal.

So now I write checks in case it happened locally by someone carrying a portable card reader.  I notified local businesses.

As this happened my girl received an invite to a friend’s b-day party.  I saw the list of activities ~ musical hoola hoops.  T-shirt decorations.  Slip and slide.  My heart sank.  This family has a lot of money and can afford all of this.  My girl’s recent b-day party had homemade kettle corn and cake and a pinata.  We don’t have the kind of money to buy t-shirts and decorating supplies for 6-8 girls much less hoola hoops.  I know my girl had a great time at her party.  And that’s what matters.  But I know how this world is – kids begin to see how other families do THIS or THAT – and they complain about it.  “How come we don’t do that?”  It’s already happening.  Neighbors up the street have cool folding down campers.  All the supplies.  They have money to give their kids the best.  Many families around here do.

And here today ~ some fucker decides to attempt to steal from me – someone in my $$ position.

WTF??!!!

Yes, yesterday I was in a place of gratitude over money.  And I still feel that within.

And yet now I had this ugly attack on me that is rather tarnishing the beautiful stone w/in.

Deep breathing……..accepting…….reminding myself how amazing and worthy I am of ALL that is possible.

And yet….I see no manifested proof….yet…but I claim it and call it in NOW.

The road “out” of the pit seems to have the hands staying behind reaching out to grab at ya as you exit.  So be it.  I am still exiting.

I long once again for the new realm ~ clean playing field.  Board wiped clean.  No one has “more” than another unless it is by pure – PURE – freedom of choice.

For now I am still here in a realm of so much potential..and beauty..and yet where I obviously need to be more on guard for those who have no respect for what is pure…who have no respect for freedom.

No lesson.  No karma.  Just free will anything goes insanity.

Freedom from the insanity cannot come soon enough for me.

That is all for now.

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V.

I awoke this morning with apprehension and anxiety.  Damn, I thought. What is going on “out there” today?  What had “they” done now?  I lay in bed as long as I could, blankets pulled up around me like a cocoon, chanting “I am in my happy place.  I am in my happy place.”

Later on, after getting out of bed, my mate went through some of the headlines which all screamed deep state trauma.  Soros announcing major financial crash.  Ebola outbreak.  Iran bracing for economic “war”. Roseanne getting axed by the demonic forces of AbsoluteBullCrap.

I had no interest in any of it.  It felt like little bullets bouncing off my energy body.

I found this really nice space within that simply refused to give the happenings of the world any energy.  She was at complete peace.

She reminded me why I am here.

She reminded me of how much is going on behind the scenes, behind the veil.  I KNOW this.

KNOW it.  It has morphed from mostly feeling to K N O W I N G.

The feeling is undeniable.

Well…. so…. not all I encountered today held that state of Being.  And that’s ok.

It was interesting to note that at one point I was engaged in a few conversations.  The energies of two were of absolute polar opposites. Something told me I had a choice of which I would feed.

Inner ME knew which one to focus on (in terms of outcomes of current situations).  Inner ME was not just focused on what I WISHED to be the outcome.

But on what I KNOW would happen and IS happening.

I headed out for awhile to get some food.  I am so nearly broke I was literally counting out dimes and nickels to see how much loose change I had in case the amount in my bank account wasn’t enough to pay for a few staples for the week.  As I did this ~ I laughed.

Yeah, I laughed.  I saw so much humor in this.  Even if it was humor of the “this is so effing ridiculous” kind.  And….Even with the story of the twisted pay-to-live system that went through my mind ~ I felt no fear. Just….humor.  I am finding that when I let go of the stress, when I fully face those dark fears, a part of me just surrenders now and says “ok well this is how it is.  I will be ok.  Universe will just provide.”  This has not happened quickly though….over the years there has been a LOT of stress, trauma, fear and other unpleasant bullshit.  lol

Arriving at the store, I go to the produce section to get a few things.  One of the clerks asked how I was.  I paused.  In my mind I heard “it’s been a day”….”a LIFE”….but something within pulled me back.

I smiled and told the clerk “Well, today, right now, I am grateful I have enough money to buy this beautiful food for my family.”

And I meant it.

It was such a beautiful experience for me.  And unusual.  As I felt it I added to my grandest self/divine “thank you more please ~ i will take more of THAT experience!”

You know how it is.  You can SAY something ~ but the feeling doesn’t align with the words so it feels forced and fake and I don’t like doing either.

The divine feeling though is when the words are spoken and the inner feeling says “YES”.  Surrender perhaps?

It really was a powerful experience for me.

As I paid for my few items, I saw the amount, did a quick calculation in my head and I said, “well that leaves me with 69 cents in my account.  i just made it!  good guess work, girl!”  And laughed again.

I felt a part of me watching myself in a way, thinking “uuuuh who is THIS girl?” Someone new?

Perhaps, yes.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”smiley” wrap=”i”]

I will tell you my feel about today ~ I felt a shift.  A split.  One path said “walk this way come on you know you want to go down this road.”  I felt it.  It did not feel good.  No thank you.

The other just presented itself without a story.  I felt I naturally just vibed to it.  I let go, went within and found myself naturally gravitated to it.  She knew.  That feeling just KNEW.

The song “Riding the storm out” went through my mind.  That’s what I’ve been doing.  What most of us have been doing.  The song stayed around me throughout the day.  Alone, in those quiet moments, when we weed out what doesn’t align, we find home.  Within.  I had that today. Everything is ok.

That is all for now.

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Victoria

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Throughout my life, throughout the lives for many of us, I have head the words “you are so sensitive”.  At times it’s just been an observation.

On other occasions, a judgment.

Those who are sensitive can disrupt certain activities.  Having to leave a crowded, loud situation early (sometimes suddenly).  Needing to pass on certain foods.  Having to find shade or a/c ~ or warmth.  Needing to take a breather/time out to regain focus.  Being unable to focus in loud, bright, congested areas.

This is a deep running issue.

And yet I also challenge this “sensitivity” concept.  (and interestingly enough, as I type this, a strong chemical smell wafts through the open kitchen window causing me to think “how can people use such things??”)

I feeeeeeel the deeper truth is (oh wow – here comes that smell again – wtf???  shutting the window and going to investigate the source!)

….have no idea where it’s coming from.  strong metal/chemical smell.  someone is obviously burning.  yikes!!

Anyway…..I feel the truth behind this label placed upon so many of us is just the system’s way of telling us we must be ok with all things toxic and harmful to the human bodies and the Soul/Spirit.  I also feeeeeel part of the deeper truth is the awakened ones are just visitors here and are highly out of alignment with the “stuff” in this realm.

Many of us aren’t in alignment with chemtrails, vaccines, extreme weather conditions, gmo’s, processed foods, microwave technologies/frequencies, pesticides, toxins and chemicals, loud music, crowds, traffic congestion, big cities (cities period) and the entire pay-to-live system.

I remember in my 20’s, living in a big city, hearing the mayor speak of how we needed to build more high density living environments.

That was the first time I heard the voice within that said “that is totally contrary to the needs of the Spirit/Soul.”  I later read similar words shared by M. Scott Peck (the author of the first spiritual-type book I picked up).

Some can say the Soul just IS and has no needs.

I say the Soul is in alignment with certain energies put out by environment.

So I do not say I am sensitive.

I just flourish in an environment where I am totally free to BE/DO.

Where there is love, kindness, generosity, respect.

Where there is quiet, peace.

Where there are organic, natural elements.

Where there is abundant, clear, pure, pristine air, water and food.

That is where I align.

That is the frequency I call for, long for and intend every moment, consciously and subconsciously.

That’s all for now.

Much love,

Victoria

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Well after a most excellent night sleep (as compared to norm lately), largely thanks to the energies (thank you Schumann), I feeeeeeeeeeel more centered today.

I am often inspired to tune w/in and feel and think reading the thoughts of others.  Today I see where some of the food nazi’s as I call them are at it – in particular the vegan people.

I will state right up front ~ I prefer not to eat meat.  I don’t want to need to eat it.  But my body needs that protein.  I go without and I suffer.  A friend of mine went vegan months ago and was trying to convince me to do the same.  “No thank you,” I said.  I would see her every few weeks and noticed she looked gaunt and tired.  After not seeing her for a good month I saw her at a gathering last weekend and she looked amazing.  I asked her what she had been doing?  “Oh girlfriend, I am eating meat again.  I had to.  My body was starving.”

She holds a phd.  College professor.  She’s up on chemtrails and the systems ~ so she is a bright, awakening woman.  She ate all of the vegan foods – the beans, nuts, seeds, plant based proteins.  And yet her body pitched a major fit.

We have to accept not all bodies are the same.  DNA.  Blood types.  Lineage is huge too.  And then there are health issues.  My mate’s chinese medicine specialist insists on lean meats for his health issues as he cannot do nuts, seeds or beans.

Until we have our DNA fully restored and our health issues cleared as well as food replicators, many of our human’s simply need this protein found in meat.  I remember when I have tried tofu and other fermented based soy products.  Quite often it creates distress for my GI system.

So let’s remove the nazi food hat long enough to be aware of these issues. NONE of us want to see a living entity suffer.  I struggled for a long time with guilt over knowing animals were dying so that I could eat.  Survive. And yet I have accepted this is how it is in this realm and until all of this transitions and transforms, let’s at least be considerate of one another’s needs and choices and be conscious in where we get our meat and animal products and do the best we can with how we spend our dollars.

On we go….

I saw some posts of some saying they felt they weren’t doing enough as a “lightworker”.  One ~ just being here is enough.  Two just being here and being awakened/awakening is an extra bonus.  You don’t need a website. You don’t need to have a youtube video.

You just have to be YOU and SHARE your thoughts on your awakening journey, whether w/the world, community or just one person you happen to meet who then “gets it” and goes on to reach millions.

We forget the impact we have on people.  I do.  I get down and then I hear from someone how I have touched them and wow I remember again the beautiful eternal piece within me and I know to shine her Brightly.

Same as we all can.

Much love ya’ll~

Victoria

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This has been a very rough week for me, things I do not speak of here, but still have an impact on me.  Some days quite profoundly.  This past week I have had someone offer to make me dinner as a gesture of kindness then forgot and blew me off.  I have asked for assistance/help of several people and have been blown off.

I am not saying that this applies to me or that I intend this to be my path, but I “get” why people give up, why some die of heartbreak and disappointment.  I get it.

But that is not me.  I am far too damn stubborn and aware of how amazing I am.  (not better than ~ i just know my own worth)

This enslavement system turns us all into lower life forms in one way or another.  I get that.

But that is no excuse.

LOVE HELPS.

It is time we begin BEING these Higher Dimensional Selves isn’t it?

I get what money does.  I get how it limits us in our choices.  If I had the income I seek desire and deserve, my life would look a lot different.  It would free me up greatly to do those things I need and desire to do NOW.  Not this “some day” when there MAY be financial liberation for us all or “some day” when this energy wave may sweep over this realm or whatever it is we are existing in (because not one of us knows for sure), liberating us.

It is a very chauvinistic world.  I have several hillary supporting left leaning “friends” who go to those damn rallies that speak of respect and freedom for women and yet who don’t do a god damn thing for me and those things I struggle with.  Friends?  Ha.  Not any longer.  Not after what I finally called them on today.

Chauvinism.  What I provide ~ what I do ~ has no $$ value in the world. That is not MY perception ~ it is the reality of this system.  We have a neighbor for whom my mate works for on occasion.  Yard work. Mowing.  Pruning. Edging.  Will this neighbor let me perform the work?  No. He wants my mate to do it because he’s a man.  But when I cook him a meal, will he pay me?  No.  (that’s why recently I cut off the gravy train ~ he wants my food he pays for it)

Most people don’t want to talk about this stuff.  It’s easier to offer up some pretty words than it is to step up, point out the elephant in the room, do what’s uncomfortable or inconvenient and actually help out a fellow brother or sister.

And I for one am DONE with the fakeness of people.  And in myself.

Walk the talk.  You.  Me.

For now, I face my own crap, my disappointment.  I hear the words in my head ~ the fear based talk ~ of fearing someone reading these words and judging me or criticizing.  You know what though?  Go ahead.  I have the power to delete ~ which I do at will these days.  (wish I could do that in the face to face conversations…i would be muting often)

If it ain’t spoken or shared in Love ~ if it isn’t words of support ~ if it isn’t one who hears and responds in kind ~ and if it isn’t one who asks what do I need (instead of assuming they know what is best) ~ I am not having it.

I wish to be the best version of Me.

It is time we all “ascend” into our highest version of ourselves.

No waiting.

We do the right thing even if everyone else screams “you can’t do that!”

We give the finger to the rules of this broken disgusting shit pit of a system and say “I see you but I am choosing to do this instead.”

We take back our beautiful amazing power and we live/be/do it NOW….not some day when…

We all deserve the freedom to be/live/do without restriction NOW!

Spoken with a shaky voice but solid in knowing this is how I deeply truly eternally feel~

Victoria