Category: Daily Notes

Some Reflections on Serving/Service

 

I was in the shower earlier, pondering the term Service.  It comes up a lot in these channels.  Service to self.  Service to others.  … as though we have to pick.  I have written on this topic before and have come to the feeeeeeeeeeling conclusion that all we can do ~ and are created to do ~ is Serve ~ from the heart ~ for that is when it is Authentic Service.  That’s it. No “service to self” is better or “service to others” is better.

I felt this all out and words that I have read went through my mind ~ how so many of us, indeed myself included, have judged others for being service to self.  We have judged ourselves for being service to self.  We have judged the unawakened masses for being self-serving.  Only concerned with his or herself.

And yet ~ when I felt this out ~ I could “see” how we as a whole, awakening, awakened and the unawakened, have done nothing but serve others/another ~ in such a way that it is damaging and therefore not truly service but I have no other word to use so I will stick with the term as is. The entire system was created to ensure we serve the master/mistress.  We serve the boss to make the money to ensure our physical survival needs are met. We serve our children, our mates/partners. How many of us have the ongoing desire of “I wish I could do more for myself!”  Truly desiring to have more of our heart’s desires met.

I think it’s quite amazing there has not been a huge revolt against our service to the system just to survive.  Aren’t we just DONE with it all?

The awakened?  The unawakened?  Left?  Right?  Black, white and in between?

Aren’t we all just DONE with serving THEM so they can live as they please as a service-to-self entity?  What about us and our needs?  They are every bit as valuable.  We are every bit as worthy.

I feel anyone speaking of how we need to become Service to Others (in this current paradigm) needs to stop and rethink and refeel their words.  Service needs to be redefined and felt out again and part of doing that MUST come from putting an end to ALL forms of pay-to-live and enslavement and power-over so we CAN be in the pure space to know again what Service truly is.  For even when one does become purely and authentically a true Service-oriented Being (to self and others), they are still having to pay-to-live, still part of this realm/system.

Freedom is more than just a state of mind and feeling.  For freedom to be fully authentic and legitimate, it also must include an end to all systems that violate its very principles.

It also must include an awareness, an understanding, in how each of us entrapped by this system, is doing the best we can.  The very systems that exhaust us, at least many of us, make it difficult to serve others outside of the slave masters.

Change the within.  Change the without.  Both are necessary to reclaim our authentic knowing and state of Being that wishes to truly Serve.

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V.

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Today’s Reflections ~ The Truth and Nothing But the Truth

 

Now is the time ~ of all time’s ~ at least for me ~ where telling the truth and nothing but is imperative.  The energy of those repressed words is demanding to be released.  I noticed that switch yesterday when I was asked my opinion about another.  My social mask voice said to be positive, be kind, etc. etc.  But real me kicked in, stopped my programmed speak and said “No, I don’t like that person.  I do not resonate with them.”

I think many of us get confused that as we transition and bring forth more love within us, we believe (baaaaad word) we should (another baaaaaaaaad word) also fall in love with everyone around us.

Not gonna happen.  There will be some people for whom we just don’t vibe. And that’s ok.  Perhaps the truth can be found in knowing the difference in being in love with all and holding love for all.  ???  I have had several such moments where I have felt love for all ~ and it was amazing.  However I also know that while I am still here in zombie world, others can and will take advantage of that state.  It’s too scary to be around for it is foreign in this realm.  And until ALL are in the same state, it is an experience to share with a whole lot of discernment and nothing to be given blindly.  Those rose colored glasses need to have the right prescription strength.  Until one is strong enough to be able to handle any potential blow-backs.  And I am not yet there.

I had a dream last night ~ a reoccurring theme.  It lasted for quite some time.  Throughout there was someone I wanted to talk with ~ and they tried talking with me.  However I had this gum-like substance that began coming out of my mouth ~ this time it was attached to my tongue.  It’s so gross ~ but I have had the experience before and I KNOW it represents repressed emotions and words.  Frustration.

That is what I feel now.  Frustration.  Frustrated.

I LOOOONG for connection ~ real connection.  No more of this fake social crap I engage in on a daily damn basis with the people around me.  The parents of other kids.  And wow have the kids been just showing up at this house for days on end now.  Just showing up.  Public school kids, vaccinated, bringing with them their drama and system allowed behaviors and just simply behavior I don’t want around my child.  I speak out about it.  I stop it when I see it.  I talk with my girl about it.  Endlessly it seems now.

It’s like knowing what you desire ~ dark chocolate cake ~ but being handed a rusty nail instead.

Well I am tossing back that damn rusty nail.  I know what I deserve.  I know what my girl deserves.  My girl deserves friends who are thoughtful. Whose parents are awakening and who are highly conscious.

Being one of the awakened ones – young or old – just fucking SUCKS here. When you are such a Being, sensitive to all that is 3D low vibe ~ when you speak about this you get the rolled eyes, the name calling, the dismissal, the “oh you’re one of THOSE types”.   Even finding a real connection in the whole ascension community has been difficult because some are so far up in the clouds in la la land they refuse to see real pain and suffering.  It’s as though their little castle of illusion is so sparkly clean and shiny, if you bring along any emotional energy that isn’t high vibe, they fear their own castle may tarnish.  And I get that.  I really do.  But it isn’t helpful to be in denial.

We want the TRUTH.  Now.  The full truth and nothing but the truth.

That is what the energies are calling forth now.  For every one of us.

And my truth, aside from what I have shared above is this:

I want the new realm.  I NEED it.  NEEEEEEEEEEEEEED.  Yes, I am saying that for anyone who thinks I “should” let go of the word.  But it is there.  A longing.  Deep within.  I am fucking tired of feeling stuck.  I focus on daily what I want.  What I desire.  D A I L Y.  In the morning.  In the evening.

My tribe.

Healing assistance.

The right educational experience for my child.

I KNOW this exists.  I see it.  I feel it.  I call it forth every stinking day.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I. AM. DONE. WITH. GROUNDHOG DAY.

How many times do I have to say that?  How many times do I have to put my hand up and claim “NO” to that which doesn’t resonate??

WHEN are those things in which I call forth going to manifest??

Do we really all have to “wait” for this event energy?

For the escape pod to be launched and opened?

Am I waiting for NOTHING here?  Are we??

I want to know!

I want the god damn truth!

Come on Source.

Come on Divine.

Come on Higher Self.

SHOW ME THE TRUTH.

Deep breath, deep breath I hear.  Let go.  Let go of any story that dictates control and of how things should be.

Ooooh, that is my struggle.  When to DO (control) and when to BE (allow). Why not both?  Is the higher frequency really about just allowing??

I feel as though I am falling apart.  Coming undone.  Unraveling.  I don’t know who to Be.  What to think.  I don’t know who I am becoming.  Which way is up, which way is down.  Feeling my truth deep within my heart ~ is that good enough?  How do I share my truth?  How much do I put into what I have right now and how much do I put into what I really desire and what I have seen for so many years?  It’s a real challenge sometimes ~ when you have seen a new realm, seen yourself there, seen your family there, met others who have seen the same damn realm ~ and to still.  be.  here.

Argh……….

With as much love and gratitude I can muster~

Victoria

***

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How We Doing Today?

 

With ^^ this thing affecting the human vessel, this is one of those days to say “‘scuse me i am having a schumann moment'”.  (and yes i do say that.) I did manage to get the avatar onto my mountain bike and took a ride. Finding quiet streets is easy in this section of town (as compared to the rest of this ginormous city I ~ we ~ will be happy to exit from).  My body feels heavy and slow today but I pushed the ride.  Another quick run to the store to get something pre-made for dinner.  Just not up for that most days ~ it really has become a challenge.  Where is my food replicator??

So as I said earlier, I had this flying dream last night.  It was more of an experience.  It started off with myself walking along the side of this shopping center.  It was dusk ~ the parking lot was empty.  I saw this woman and walked up to her.  She looked familiar and I said “oh, I know you from high school”.  However, as we made eye contact she turned into one of those creatures from the movie They Live.  I looked at her and said “holy sheot you really are real!” and walked away.

At this time some old little pick up truck came racing into the parking lot.  I knew the entity in it was looking for people like me.  I was able to successfully hide behind a post I manifested for a bit but I must have given off some energy they (matrix scum) picked up on for I knew the post wasn’t going to be enough.  It was time to pull out my skills, I thought.

As the person got out of the vehicle, I walked out from behind the post.  I felt no fear but I was very cautious.  He walked towards me with a purpose.  I could sense it was nothing but a program, however it was still something for me to avoid.  As he got up to me I said “I’m not who you think I am ~ I am going to fly now” and wow fly I did.  It was amazing.  I felt the buzz/pressure in my lower spine and I literally flew straight up – and fast too.  I went up at least 300 feet before I thought “Ok, I need to work on that. I didn’t need to go that high” so I began to slowly float down back towards the ground.

Then I see another program bot also looking for beings like myself.  He came running over to me and I was able to stop myself and hover – just out of his reach.  I was still practicing and had to concentrate but it couldn’t touch me and I said “I am leaving now” and zoom – I was off again.  Then I awoke.  Wide Awake.  Wanting to do that again!  [wp-svg-icons icon=”cool” wrap=”i”]

For over a year I have intended a flying machine for myself.  Perhaps that will just be a back-up toy.  My body will be my main “machine” used for such purposes.

I did think about the dream and can feel it was more than just a dream.  I was able to see that there indeed are “fake” entities within this realm ~ possibly truly indeed fake and/or (unknowingly) victimized people who are being used by the controllers of this realm via their technologies.  That shit is breaking down more and more.  Their abilities weakening.

The awakened ones strengthening.

Let us be good to ourselves and hold onto one another in whatever way we can as we ride out this final hill…perhaps it is the final curve.

For now I am going to end this one for I just realized I paused and stared at the screen for a longer period of “time” than is normal.  lol  Going to do some stretching…..and it is time to feed the bodies too.

Love,

Victoria Zoooooooooooooooooooooooooom

***

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A Reflection on “Pure” Thoughts and Conflict in the New Realm

 

I’ve been thinking about something I heard earlier today in a video I watched.  The thought was we will not have any negative thoughts on New Earth.

I pondered that one.  That freedom loving part of me said “hey I want to be free to hold whatever thought I want!”  I reflected some more and asked for some guidance.  Here is what came through.

It is true we will still be free to hold whatever thoughts we wish to hold in our minds (whew!).  However, when the thought is one that serves only to judge self or another or is otherwise harmful/destructive, we will immediately feel that in our body and it won’t feel so good.  Unlike this realm, where our thoughts can go seemingly unnoticed by ourselves, that won’t be the same experience in a different frequency.  We will be much more aware and thus in-tune with/sensitive to such experiences.  Perhaps that’s why, as time passes, so many of us feel our minds are becoming almost a blank slate ~ often neutral ~ just in this state of Being (which can appear as zoning out, being totally out of it – or wonky as I call it).

(wow i am having a huuuuuuuuuuuuuge deja vu right now as in multiple experiences and dreams i have had are merging………..what a trip!!)

I am feeling ~ indeed hoping ~ the chattering monkey brain will be silenced. That feels like it’s a matrix program ~ one that will be removed (we will be released from) upon the event energies.

I wondered about conflict.  In this realm, the matrix rewards power-over. Energy siphoning.  When one attempts that at the higher frequency, the result is different.  I had a feeling when we engage in this, we will experience what the other person is feeling.  It won’t feel so good obviously.

It is these “this doesn’t feel good” experiences that will help us move away from these old habits.  Like quitting smoking or other harming habits that, while they may give us a quick rush, only harm ourselves in the end.  And how good it feels, in that end, to let them go.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”heart-2″ wrap=”i”]

V.

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Experiences, Reflections/Insights for Saturday 4/19/18

 

You know what’s going to be uber awesome?  Not needing to keep track of dates, times, hours, etc.  Oooooooh bring that now please ~ not just in my brain which has almost zero sense of any of that anymore.  This coming from the solid Capricorn who always knew the day/date/time, how much was in my checking account down to the penny and today?  Well it just doesn’t matter much to me.

So anyway tribe…today’s experience journey actually begins at 2am last night, so officially still 4/19.  I was getting ready for bed and noticed a spider in the bathroom.  I was not comfortable going to bed knowing it was going to be crawling around the house (it’s just a thing with me, ok?).  Normally I could catch and release but I was too tired to do that.  I also did not want to squash it.  So I sighed and spoke out loud.  “I see you there.  And I acknowledge you.  You know what though?  I am not comfortable with you crawling around my house and I have no desire to kill you and am too tired to catch you and let you go.  So could you please just do me a favor and go back to where you came from?  I would be so appreciative if you did that.”

I had NO attachment to this and had ZERO thought this would work. Because it has never worked for me.

But this time IT DID.  As soon as I stopped talking, that spider spun a web, dropped itself down on top of my dryer and crawled away.  Just like that!

WOW!!

I was so giddy I about woke up the rest of the house with my enthusiasm.

I need not be surprised over this though.  As the energies change us ~ they change the All.  And we are now becoming more in tune with our environment ~ with the animals and all sentient beings.

I had a new earth experience today ~ at the same time my mate did (unbeknownst to us both at the time).  The first time I had a dream of this new earth realm, I was making sandwiches for my daughter (who at the time had not been born ~ nor was I pregnant with her yet) and a group of other kids.  Peanut butter sandwiches, of which I manifested all necessary ingredients with my mind only.  My mate had the same dream about a year later.  At the time we were not familiar with the new earth or 5D concept and were not on the Ascension bandwagon either.

So….This afternoon our girl had a friend over and I made them sandwiches (tuna).  As I began preparing, something called me to “remember this experience” and to imagine myself in the kitchen of the new house ~ bringing me back to the first dream (which was not just a dream).  As I did, I could feel the wonky feeling in my body.

At this time, my mate was outside, aware I had gone in to make the kids sandwiches.  As I did, he said he suddenly had this thought to “remember this experience” and to focus on being in the new earth realm ~ at our house.  It was easy for him to go there.  Later on, I told him of my experience and we had another “no WAY!  I did the same thing at the same time!”

I am connecting with more people at this moment who are feeling this shift and feeling how fast it is going energetically.  We are feeling “by June” as a time frame.  That is what I have heard myself.  And earlier, my friend who also communicates with Clair texted me saying he had tuned in with her and she said he most definitely would be swimming at his lake house in the new realm this summer.

I pause as I type this.

What else is there to say?  [wp-svg-icons icon=”heart-2″ wrap=”i”]

V.

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What About Love…Cosmic/Quantum Messages and Experiences

 

The “go within and be the love” message from a few nights ago continues.

Today I had several experiences, which I will do my best to share.  I am so tired at the moment, having ridden another cosmic energy blast today that began a couple of days ago.  These beauties are REALLY impacting me.

The first experience happened at the park.  I hung out and observed while my child played.  I was able to notice my self-talk and turned it around into something loving, keeping the words short and simple.  I noticed as I did this, people began to look at me.  A bird flew over and rested on a branch above me and began making a flurry of noise that continued until I greeted it ~ then it quieted and flew off.  A woman walked over and sat down on the same picnic table (there are several at the park).  Usually when I go out, especially these days, I put out the “leave me alone” energy.  Today I switched that.

On the way home, we took the long way.  Nice view that way and next to zero traffic.  As I climbed to the top of the hill, the radio blipped out.  No big deal normally, only this time I felt something shift in my body.  I suddenly became disoriented as though I was in that space of two different realities. It was ~ strange.  I decide to change the radio station and on comes Janice Joplin ~ “take another piece of my heart”.  Love her music, so I kept it on.  I pull up to the stop sign, hang a left and as I head down the street, I notice these two teenage kids walking uphill.  They looked, well, out of place.  The girl was in a jean skirt, plaid short-sleeve shirt and thick long straight brown hair, like down to her butt long.  She looked straight out of the 70’s. The boy with her had 70’s hair, poofy and feathered, a bright orange 70’s style t-shirt w/that big white lettering schools once used and jeans.  (I know these styles as I was a kid myself in the 70’s).  What happened?  Was this possible?  I thought “where AM I??!!”  The feeling continued.  I get to another stop sign.  My girl said “Mom look at that jeep! It looks old!”  A 1970’s style jeep is coming up the hill.

Coincidence??!!

I sat there, jaw dropped open.  The feeling slowly faded as I headed home, turning onto our street.

Ok, onto the next experience.  Later in the day, I was in no (energetic) mood to cook the meal I had planned, I needed something easy, so I decided to go pick up something at the store.  As I checked out, I told the clerk to excuse me (I tried to swipe my debit card instead of putting it into that annoying chip reader thing) ~ I was really wonky today.  She looks at me and says “oh my GOSH you have no idea how many people have come in today saying the same thing!  They are soooo tired and so out of it!”  I told her about the solar blast we are under and said “lots of things going on now with our realm and bodies”.  She wasn’t aware of any of this but thanked me.  I smiled, told her I loved her scarf and hair and headed out the door.

I get into the car and turn on the radio.  “What About Love” is on the radio (Heart song).  The words “what about love…don’t you want someone to care about you….what about love….don’t let it slip away” blast away.  I suddenly felt this energy grow within me.  It was palpable, so much so I said “oh boy hold on it’s coming” and I knew what it was ~ Love.  I was having another one of those just amazing expansive quantum experiences where I felt love for ALL.  So I drive home, looking at everyone I can, smiling, tears in my eyes, my heart HUGE and wide open, sending everyone love or whatever this feeling I was having. It was too big to contain.  I had no choice but to share it ~ which is what happens when I have these experiences.

I arrive home, go about prepping dinner (for those curious, packaged ravioli and tomato basil mushroom canned pasta sauce).  Later on in the shower I spoke a lot of words and released even more tears.  Pain.  Regret.  Loss. Feeling all is changing within me and “out there” as well and I have no control over any of it.  All I can do is feel it, move through it ~ only in a way that is coming from love and not fear.  I noticed where I was clinging and instead allowed ~ even allowed the clinging (by just observing and accepting).  If that makes sense.

As I entered the living room minutes later to go snuggle with my girl, I decide to turn on the music channel.  Here is the name of the song playing:

The Divine wasn’t finished yet.  After getting my little one in bed, I decided to have some tea.  Below is the message on the label.

Indeed.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”heart-2″ wrap=”i”]

As I had heard and felt at the park “speak words of Love”.

Speak.  Feel.  Share.

Thank you, more please.  Keep the reminders coming that I DO have love ~ the REAL THING ~ within me.  It is still there.  And it wants to be free every much as the person in which it resides.

Love,

Victoria

***

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Today’s Message (in a meme)

 

Oh people, I am weary of putting in the hours I do here.  I am so grateful for the few (5 loving people who are keeping this site alive) who do show their support, I need more to justify the time I spend writing, sharing, researching.  Many other similar sites receive much support monetarily from their subscribers and readers.  I need more. Hence, I am asking.  Do you wish to see my site continue?  At the level it is now?

If so……….please give me a little love….and t/y.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”heart-2″ wrap=”i”]

Image result for show me the money meme

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Update on the Energies of Us and this Realm

 

Last night, I checked in with I guess you can now call them my “team” as I reached out to comm with Clair and this time saw a group of others standing around some sort of a holographic computer screen (it was very large and almost appeared as though they were looking through it to perhaps view this realm).  She was bz.  I “stood” in the background and observed.  This time I had the visual of the group.  It was wild!  (and yes I was in the shower)  She was not able to really correspond with me only to say something big had switched – changed – and I then felt she said “speeding up the process”.  I asked if it would be best if I checked in later and she said “yes” waving her hand (she had her back to me).

Earlier today I checked in (via text) with my earthly team-mate (maybe it is becoming time to call him that??) ~ brother from another mother ~ who checked in with her and had also received the same message.  He said he felt she said the earth magetics had switched dramatically thus accelerating our transition.

I can attest to something huge last night energetically.  Well, my body can. As I went to bed, totally exhausted, I was suddenly exhilarated (as my earthly team mate said he felt he had received a caffeine jolt) – giddy – so much so I began to giggle as I thought I could run around the block a dozen times.  I was also shaking/vibing all over ~ an experience that lasted all night off and on making for an absolutely miserable night sleep.  My entire family experienced the same. None of us slept well.  Upon awakening my mate and I both felt not only wonka-doodle, our bodies are aching more (I normally don’t experience that – my mate does daily – but today the pain was more intense).

I can say this about this realm ~ the sky was different today.  Some ways I could see it ~ the color of the clouds was unusual.  They also appeared to be almost closer than normal.  Other ways, it just “felt” different.  My mate ~ same experience.  I took some sky shots that I hope show the unusual brownish/yellow cloud color.  I will post those later.

Today I had a few moments where I felt so unbalanced, I felt this current energy realm was about ready to become very blurry and would be immediately replaced with a new dimensional space.  I have experienced the “between two worlds” experience before ~ today it took on a more intense feel.

We continue to be a passive participant more or less, going within, questioning and yet still at the helm of larger “forces”.

I had to take a break tonight from all of this.  I watched the latest Roseanne episode and may binge watch the first 5 episodes.  Aye, do I need a vacation from anything and all that is demanding of my energy in any shape, form or function.

Love,

Victoria

***

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A Message from the Soul Tribe ~ The Love is Within

 

I have not disclosed this one.  I have shared her before my hesitation when it comes to channeling or receiving messages from “beyond”.  Several weeks ago I began experiencing a communication with a Being who goes by “Clair”.  She actually began corresponding with a friend of mine and over time, I started to have this feeling I could speak with her.  She felt familiar ~ very familiar.  The name “Clair” is also a name that has just come to me over the years, at one point this was the name of a character in which I wrote up a pretty awesome short story around.

So I checked in with my friend to see if it was ok if I “borrowed” her – lol.  I felt so weird doing this, but he said “sure”.  A few nights later I gave it a try (in the shower) and wow she came through to me in the shower with such amazing enthusiastic energy ~ felt almost like a freight train of joy.  It was like talking with someone you haven’t spoken with in ages.  As talks have continued, I have received more information that my friend has also confirmed.  In short, we are of the same Soul family and some of us (I felt a few hundred) came here in these suits while the rest stayed in the safe and easy zone as I call it.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”cool” wrap=”i”]

I was having a real bitch of a day today.  Any of you have certain issues that continue to crop up and you say “yes I know I see you” and yet remain clueless as to how to rectify it?  Yeah, me as well.

Anyway, I checked in with my friend earlier today and we spoke for a brief bit.  On my way out he said he heard from Clair and said that she wanted to speak with me.  I groaned.  I had already tried that but I knew I was far too upset to get into that space.

So tonight, after my girl was in bed, I headed for the shower to soothe myself.  My mind was racing as I began to hear her voice: “Victoria, ssshhh, calm down take some breaths.”  Yeah, I was not having that.  This continued for several minutes before I surrendered.  Ok, I finally said.  I can listen now.

“Allow” I heard – clearly.  (Sometimes her voice is literally as if she is in the same space as me – it is that clear, loud and distinct in my mind.  Such comm levels only last for several seconds before it will change back to the normal frequency in which I hear her.)

I closed my eyes and received some personal details about a particular situation most present in my mind.  Then, in my mind’s eye, I saw this beautiful magenta pink energy begin to swirl around my face, going about as low as my throat/upper chest.  I began to cry as I spoke of needing love.  I just needed some love.

It was then that I heard “let that come from within.  You are the love. Remember that.”  I said “But no one is an island you know that!  We all need connection and support and love.”

“Yes of course that is not being discounted.  For you now and how you are feeling now, go within and find the love you have for YOU.”  I quickly was able to scan my mind and think back to moments I have had where I have felt that love – and how it naturally expanded outward.

A ha!

I closed up the session and felt the desire to go have some tea.  I was going to have my ginger root tea I keep simmering on the stove.  Something guided me to get my peppermint tea instead.

I open the tea bag and read the message on the label:

“You don’t need love, you are the love.”

[wp-svg-icons icon=”shocked” wrap=”i”]  [wp-svg-icons icon=”smiley” wrap=”i”]  [wp-svg-icons icon=”heart” wrap=”i”]  [wp-svg-icons icon=”heart-2″ wrap=”i”]

Nothing more to say is there?

(picture of the tea bag message below)

Much love (as much as I can offer tonight) ~

Victoria

***

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