Category: Daily Notes

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Let me get right to it.

Why won’t some of these healers in the ascension communities, the ones who sell healing products and provide spiritual services, often at prices only the elite or well-to-do folks can afford, reconsider their pricing structure?

Why not select say 5 people a month and provide those services for free?

Why not offer a sliding scale fee?  It isn’t as though everyone makes the same levels of income.  I’ve long been deeply bothered that I pay the same price for a gallon of milk as does some elite lawyer living in a mansion on top of the hill in a gated community.

SO WRONG.  So unevolved.  So contrary to any and all progressive movements I see going on in my community.

I get particularly perturbed when I see others share their services on youtube videos and the like and speak of the horrors of things like glysophate in the water and air, chemtrails in the water and air – essentially poisons being sprayed on us against our will and control – and say we need to give their products a chance if we wish to heal – or survive. If I had such a healing product I created or method that would help save the populace from such horrors, I would make DAMN sure my product reached as many people as possible – regardless of their ability to pay.  I would at the very least do as I mentioned above.  Do some pro bono and offer sliding scale fee or do a donation option.

Same if I had some magical energy ability to heal people.  I have asked for it.  Many times.

If I am granted this ability by my Higher Self, you can be sure I will make sure I heal as many people as possible.

Isn’t that what we are here for?  To help as many as possible with our gifts?

Why is it then ridiculous prices are charged?  I mean seriously – $125/hour?  $150/hour?  $300 for this product and that?

Don’t these folks know they drive away a lot of people – people who are every bit as worthy as healing as the more well-to-do folks they serve? ALL DUE TO MONEY.  Do they even care?  Do they even stop to think perhaps they could change the monetary charge – change it up a bit – to reach more folks?

 

I frankly expect more out of them.

We all should.

It’s time.

My dear readers ~ I would like to make an appeal to you. I would like you to consider making a donation to show you support my work, by clicking on the donate link at the top of this piece.  I do this to share my passion of writing, sharing my truth while being a voice in the Ascension and Awakening Process as well as a means of making an income to support my family. You can also help by purchasing my book, Live To Impress Yourself ~ An Interactive Journal available by clicking here. Please visit me on facebook too!  I sincerely thank you for your support!)
***You may share my personally written articles found under the Daily Notes menu as long as you do not alter the original content, you include my name, and provide the link to the original article as found on this site.  Thank you!

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Well, how ya’ll doing today?  I had a very long night of essentially no sleep.  My mate, who has a chronic illness, was up very sick all night.  Not sure if it’s part of his illness or something separate.  With these things happening off and on for so many years, you get used to it.  Sort it. Likely just numb.  However, the lack of sleep is something I am particularly sensitive to.  It seems to allow all of my “stuff” to come up that much easier.  Therefore, I have been extra sensitive and quite emotional today. As it does on most days when I am occupied with tending to needs of a child and house and, depending on the day, mate, I tend to not pay attention to my inner chatter until meltdown.

I had one of those today.

Earlier in the day I read a piece online about how our Soul places us here (here meaning our current situation) in order to learn.  Try as we might to change our situation, we aren’t gonna budge until we get this often elusive “it”.

I read that and thought “WTF?”  Seriously – W T F.

Who is in charge?

My Higher Self?  Human me?

Aren’t we supposed to be working together as a TEAM?

Why do I read words that tell us we must surrender to Higher Self…release all of the ego stuff (which if I put together the pieces I have read on the the behaviors of the ego would mean 95% of our totality, give or take)…

…only to go on and read the next piece that tells us it is our Human Self that must make the choices, take the action.

So which is it?

Am I missing something?

So my Higher Self is ignoring MY WORDS then – MY INTENTIONS – ignoring the words I am sending It to create x y z because I need to learn yet another lesson?

I AM TIRED OF THIS CYCLE.

Is it possible I can beat it?  I’m pretty cunning when need be.

Is it possible it is just more duality-based matrix speak?

I had quite the conversation with my High Self earlier as a result.  Of course it was one-sided as I couldn’t hear a damn thing coming from her.

A pretty typical experience, especially lately.

Am I the only one not hearing this piece of us that is Eternal?

Later in the day, unable to keep my eyes open, I took a nap and awoke in distress.

It is difficult for me to form close emotional connections with people.  I always thought I knew why but today I received a deeper piece.  After only Source knows how many lifetimes I have been forced to experience in this dimension, I have lost many Souls.  I feel I have lost my Tribe of eons ago and keep encountering people who don’t resonate with me.  I get that.

It’s like a part of me knows if I allow myself to get close with someone, I know within upon my death or theirs, we will likely be separated and unable to see/reconnect for hundreds if not thousands earthly years…reincarnations.

So there is that part of me that says “don’t”.  Don’t connect.  Don’t bond. Don’t get close.  Which is likely why I have tended to settle for the superficial crap, being a magnet for people who won’t be reliable, who won’t really appreciate or value me.  And then yes, have wondered “why” when I experience abandonment.

Duh Victoria.

Only to repeat it again.

I must stop this trend.  And part of that includes grieving over the endless reincarnation cycle I was once trapped in.  But no longer.

Onto another subject.  I wonder how many of you have had this thought. There are some very beautiful, eloquent pieces on this Ascension process, some written by people who obviously have their stuff together.  They are far more balanced, healed and seemingly more ready to Ascend than me.

I have lately wondered why that is.  Have they had less reincarnation cycles?  Maybe they have had a better pick of families upon entering this realm (although I wonder as to the authenticity of that choice given it’s been part of a controlled system so do we really have much OF a choice as to what families we enter?  I’m rethinking that one as well but that is too much for my mind to handle at the moment.)  Perhaps this is their first incarnation cycle on earth and they have come here from another timeline or dimension to assist, a timeline/dimension that is much more evolved and peaceful, therefore they have far less earthly pain to release.

Or are they full of shit?  lol

You know what I mean.  The type who advertise on dating sites they want mates who have no baggage but end up having the biggest suitcase.

I really want to know.

Sigh…

I am the perpetual seeker, always wanting to know WHY on everything.

So how did I even start this piece?

I don’t know.  I always have some clever ending.  Today though, that’s just not happening.  Lack of sleep has done me in as has more stuff coming up for assessment, understanding, healing.

Time to go bond and play with the one little person who has my heart. For that, I am blessed!

My dear readers ~ I would like to make an appeal to you. I would like you to consider making a donation to show you support my work, by clicking on the donate link at the top of this piece.  I do this to share my passion of writing, sharing my truth while being a voice in the Ascension and Awakening Process as well as a means of making an income to support my family. You can also help by purchasing my book, Live To Impress Yourself ~ An Interactive Journal available by clicking here. Please visit me on facebook too!  I sincerely thank you for your support!)
***You may share my personally written articles found under the Daily Notes menu as long as you do not alter the original content, you include my name, and provide the link to the original article as found on this site.  Thank you!

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I had an interesting dream last night ~ one I believe was more than just a dream.  It coincides with a piece I wrote awhile back, about a blast of incoming energy as mentioned in the works of Dolores Cannon, producing the effect of immediate healing, allowing us to return to our Pure Selves again.

In this dream, I was looking up my street to the south.  The skies were amazing.  There was a very bright glowing light and I could see dimensional planets and objects everywhere.  Neighbors were walking out into the street, some smiling, some in amazement.  The change within and without them was palpable.  I was particular drawn to two such neighbors, a daddy and his little boy.  This family has other kids, but these two were in my dream, likely because they are so much alike and about as asleep/detached emotionally as one can be.  We’ve all been there so that isn’t to judge (much – I ain’t perfect). As such, I have given up smiling much less acknowledging them, which has been disappointing of course, for me.

In the dream though, the little boy walked over to my child, smiled a beautiful smile and began playing with her ~ a first.  The dad walked down the driveway towards me, smiling.  A first (yes – I’ve never seen him smile – certainly not at me).  But there he was – beautiful smile on his face.  That part of him that had been asleep had awakened – as though it had simply melted away.

I stood there, surprised, not knowing what to do.  I observed then tuned into how I felt.  That and the objects I was seeing in the sky told me we had experienced The Shift.  The Event.

The false matrix grid had collapsed fully and we were seeing Truth – of where we are and who we are.

It was…Beautiful.

No need to pretend.

No need to wear the masks.

Is it possible energy can do this??

Yes, I believe it is.  All life IS energy after all and if we can vibe low, we can vibe high, right?

And that is what I experienced.  The Highest Vibrational frequency we have experienced in eons, suddenly running through all Life.

And if it can happen to the two individuals in my dream (who I happened to see outside today on an earlier walk), I have hope for us ALL to transform.

♥♥♥

(My dear readers ~ I would like to make an appeal to you. I would like you to consider making a donation to show you support my work, by clicking on the donate link at the top of this piece.  I do this to share my passion of writing, sharing my truth while being a voice in the Ascension and Awakening Process as well as a means of making an income to support my family. You can also help by purchasing my book, Live To Impress Yourself ~ An Interactive Journal available by clicking here. Please visit me on facebook too!  I sincerely thank you for your support!)
***You may share my personally written articles found under the Daily Notes menu as long as you do not alter the original content, you include my name, and provide the link to the original article as found on this site.  Thank you!

 

 

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With all of the questions I have had lately and the doubts as to whether I am transforming or dying, as what always happens, I return to the place of trusting and letting go.

The scene from Finding Nemo comes to mind to best describe this.  The character’s Dory and Marlin have summoned a whale to help them travel to Sydney, which is where Nemo, Marlin’s lost son, is said to be.  (For those not familiar with the film, I’m talking about fish here – not humans – but the lesson still applies.)  Dory is the trusting one, Marlin the skeptical one.

Inside the whale, Marlin is freaking out while Dory continues to communicate with the whale.  After awhile, the whale rises up, causing Marlin and Dory to hold on tight to its tongue.  Dory has announced they have arrived and the whale needs them to let go of the tongue and drop down, enabling them to be released out through the spout.  Marlin at first is refusing.

Finally he says “How do you know something bad isn’t going to happen!?”

Dory pauses and says, “I don’t!”

This was a choice – a pivotal moment – we have all experienced.  Do they trust and let go?  They have been guided and protected all this way, have come so far, do they trust the whale is part of that journey and let go and just DO or do they cling on and do nothing, thus destroying any chance of finding Nemo.

Well they let go and are released out the whale’s spout – into the harbor in Sydney – exactly where they needed to go and asked of the whale to take them.

Celebration ensued for a few moments, accompanied by a huge change in Marlin’s character.  He relaxed.  Became more empowered.  More of his Authentic Self.

He had been guided along the way to find his son.  He intended and focused on this one goal.

And he reached a moment of potential danger, even possible death.  He could no longer control the situation, so he chose to let go, surrender, trust.

I see this transformation and ascension process in the same way.  How do we know this isn’t some massive experiment?

How do we know something bad isn’t going to happen?

We don’t!

That’s when we pause, breath and see that yes, in spite of the bad ugly dark agenda’s still playing out, there HAS been a guiding Hand in all of this, for those of us on this journey.  We have all had those moments of help, right?  Moments where we are guided to read something or moments where someone helps us with a long standing issue or someone tells us of this or that, putting us in a new direction, a new focus.

And my experience says those moments happen after my human self has pitched a major fit (or fits) and exhausted, I surrender.  I trust.  I let go.

And Magic happens.

I get reminded again that I am not alone.

None of us are.

For in spite of the bad and scary and dark, there is something more Powerful.

And that is Love.

***

(My dear readers ~ I would like to make an appeal to you. I would like you to consider making a donation to show you support my work, by clicking on the donate link at the top of this piece.  I do this to share my passion of writing, sharing my truth while being a voice in the Ascension and Awakening Process as well as a means of making an income to support my family. You can also help by purchasing my book, Live To Impress Yourself ~ An Interactive Journal available by clicking here. Please visit me on facebook too!  I sincerely thank you for your support!)
***You may share my personally written articles found under the Daily Notes menu as long as you do not alter the original content, you include my name, and provide the link to the original article as found on this site.  Thank you!

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I had a most powerful experience a few moments ago.  It put together the information from my previous piece, which includes the meditation I did with nature and Gaia to bring out the sun again as well as the Anastasia book reference I made.

I decided to return to reading the Anastasia book (which is book 1 in the series).  Anastasia is based on a real experience a Russian man had in the Siberian taiga in 1995 over a period of 3 days with a woman who called herself Anastasia.  She speaks of the darkness and the fall of humankind and the return of the light.  Topics include child rearing, education, ufo’s and sex.  It is very enlightening and very much in alignment with what I speak of and desire.  In this particular section I was just reading, Anastasia is speaking of our interaction with plants and nature.  She herself has the ability to “see” others who are working with plants and nature and is able to send a message to assist the person at the time in a way that I can only describe as life altering and healing for the individual. She then speaks to how plants react to humans, with love or hate.

Upon reading this last part, I burst into tears.  I think of how I speak so much of returning to nature when I have neglected the nature that is around me and within my own home.  I spend far more time vacuuming the floors than I do in tending to my plants – these living creatures – these beautiful life forms.  I water them (forget to do that at times).  But that’s about it.  Sometimes I will speak to them but for the most part, they are a very neglected roommate.  I have long known this.

But tonight was different.  Something in me shifted.  I suddenly knew something changed in me as I stood at my window earlier in the day and did my meditation to intend the sun.  I didn’t speak of this earlier in my piece because it had not yet sunk in, but now it has.  When I did this meditation, at first it started off as a request for sun that would benefit me.  But something spoke to me – almost energetically “grabbing/stopping” me and had me instead focus on the needs of Gaia and the plant and animal kingdom.  Suddenly I was not “me” focused. Again a first for I have intended the sun numerous times in the past (usually with little or no success – perhaps now I know why).  I was focused on the needs of all life in my immediate area and by surrendering my own individual and ego needs, something automatically and easily guided me to tune into the needs of Gaia.  And I felt an energy coming from Gaia that I have never felt before.  It was as though I could be lifted off of my feet by it.

Something influenced me during those moments.  It wasn’t my Higher Self.  No, this was something else.

Perhaps, as I wept, it was another individual – someone like Anastasia herself – who tuned into what I was focusing on and guided me in a new direction.

Whatever “it” was, I am extremely grateful for this change of heart and mind.  I now see AND feel how I have separated myself from Nature.

I see now how I have affected her with my moods and words.

I see the neglect I have created.

I take a step back and look at myself and hear the words I have been speaking so much lately about Gaia and Goddess Sophia.  I see how I have been just feeling the “words” instead of the Life Force of these “words”.

And I see the connection I have to all of Her – if only I tune in and make the connection about Gaia and her beautiful life species instead of just me.

It is time to walk my talk.

Yes, I long to live in a much more rural area.  Rows of trees nestling the back of my property and home.

But until I create that living situation, I see how I can still have my connection with nature, both inside and outside of my home.  The intelligence and beautiful energy of these life forms are waiting for me as they have been all along.  Patiently.  Waiting for this human to wake up fully ~ to remember and feel fully she is not the only one around.

Such humbleness is a beautiful and welcomed moment.

♥♥♥

(My dear readers ~ I would like to make an appeal to you. I would like you to consider making a donation by clocking on the link at the top of this article to show you support my work.  I do this to share my passion of writing, sharing my truth while being a voice in the Ascension and Awakening Process as well as a means of making an income to support my family. You can also help by purchasing my book, Live To Impress Yourself ~ An Interactive Journal available by clicking here. Please visit me on facebook too!  I sincerely thank you for your support!)
***You may share my personally written articles found under the Daily Notes menu as long as you do not alter the original content, you include my name, and provide the link to the original article as found on this site.  Thank you!

All of this angst and purging I have been doing recently has served a purpose, even if I wasn’t wanting or willing to admit it at the time.  Yes, not knowing anything for sure, not being able to SEE much less PROVE what I feeeeel in my body is Truth and what I desire to be occurring is a challenge for sure.  I want to know Truth.  I want to see Truth.  Now. Not someday.

I keep coming back to the same words:  I Create My Own Reality.

Just how far does that power expand?  I am only beginning to see.

Again, this is just for myself.  The only advice I could ever give someone in this area is to BELIEVE in the thoughts of your Higher Self and Heart ~ especially those ones that don’t go away AND the ones that make you feel HOPE.

Yesterday as I said was one hell of a challenge, at least the first 3/4 of it.  I was on the couch, unable to function.  Having had more or less a week of such a state of being, I surrendered to the experience and just let myself feel like crap.

After I rested, I decided to do some internet research, see if I could come up with anything for the site.  As what often happens, many of the pieces I find, some I post and others I don’t, have a message for me at that time.

Yesterday was no exception.

I kept seeing the theme that I Create My Own Reality (or as I also tell myself ~ I have far more Power than I own and admit).  And I also saw something powerful – that when I focus on all of the things that happened to me, I am living in the past.  As I read – I am focusing on what happenED.  That stuck with me.  It spoke the necessary words my wounded heart and ego needed to hear.

All of the sheot, it’s just a story.

And I want a new story.

I also read and had already felt in my body (sensing it as a lightness) that the matrix grid is more or less gone, which includes the reincarnation trap.

Ah ha, I had something to ponder.  The reincarnation grid being gone means all of the lies of karma and lesson’s to be learned before we can do xyz and all of matrix speak – it’s gone.  Which means releasing all of that low vibe stuff is going to be easier.

It can now be released.

It can now be eliminated.

Terminated.

All three words coming to me from 3 different sources.

Then there was the video I saw describing the Anastasia series of books (of which I recommend).  The young man was sharing the basic premise of the books and that is FOCUS ON WHAT WE DESIRE.

(Noticing a theme yet??)

Lastly had a powerful experience last night.  I saw the weather forecast for today.  Cloudy and rain.

Again.

What would this be, day number 172 of this type of weather?

So I stood in the kitchen before I went to bed and intended sun instead.

Last night I had a dream where I was standing again in the kitchen, looking out the window.  It was cloudy.  I intended for the clouds to part and the sun to appear.  I then heard a voice “you have the power to do this.”  The sun began to appear and the dream experience ended.

This morning, I awoke to sun.  After a few hours the clouds returned.  I started to get frustrated and instead, calmed myself.  Tuned in.  Grounded with Gaia and connected with the clouds, the sun, the animals.  It was so powerful.  I could feel all of that beautiful energy – and I know I was just feeling a small piece of it all.  Wow.  Anyway, so I then intended for us all to request the clouds part and the sun returned.  I stayed in that space for a time, then closed it up, gave thanks and let it go.

In about 30 minutes, the sun returned and stayed.

We have so much more power than we know.  Than we own.

Every single one of us.

The key is to focus on what we desire.

I need that tattooed on my eyelids.  lol

Focus on what I desire.

Focus on what I desire.

Focus on what I desire.

If I can do it, you can too.

It is that difficult and that simple at the same time.

Let’s focus on making it simple though because I know we are all VERY much ready for a new paradigm.

So much peace and love and blessings to you all.  You have my gratitude.

♥♥♥

Victoria

(My dear readers ~ I would like to make an appeal to you. I would like you to consider making a donation to show you support my work.  I do this to share my passion of writing, sharing my truth while being a voice in the Ascension and Awakening Process as well as a means of making an income to support my family. You can also help by purchasing my book, Live To Impress Yourself ~ An Interactive Journal available by clicking here. Please visit me on facebook too!  I sincerely thank you for your support!)

 

 

 

I know the last few pieces of mine have been rather hard-hitting, full of some angst and pain.  I’ve had a lot to purge.  And my ego has desired for me to stay safe and avoid being hurt, which resulted in dealing with those voices that say “Look at the world!  Why are you wanting to have faith and hope?  Why would you want to give your Love to ANYONE?”  And my personal favorite, “Screw being patient!  I want what I want NOW!”  As I continue to tend to my wounds and see the wisdom in my ego (yes, I do believe it has something to say) I rise back up into Who I Am and intend the reality in which I am choosing to help create.  Tonight, this came to me in the form of a prayer, which I now share with you.

I visualize a world that is safe for our children to play in the streets, at the parks, in the homes of their friends and family.

I visualize a world free of disease.

I visualize a world with pristine waters, clean air and fertile soil.

I visualize a world economy that is resource-based.

I visualize a world that offers all people healing modalities that are effective, quick and painless.

I visualize a world where all foods are truly organic, in abundance, provided for all.

I visualize a world where Truth is something to share freely and equally desired to hear freely.

I visualize a world where thoughtfulness and kindness are in the hearts of all people.

I visualize a world where freedom reigns.

I visualize a world without borders and endless laws.

I visualize a world where access to clean water, abundant healthy food, clean air, housing, education and healing are Sovereign Rights.

Mostly, I visualize a world in which I feel safe to send my child out into, in which I feel proud to share with my child, in which I can finally say “yes honey, what you are being taught and told is true”.

♥♥♥

Please, visualize this with me!

Peace and blessings now~

Victoria

No daily notes today.  Way too wiped out.  Barely functioning.  More when I feel “human” again.

♥

V.

Ok peeps I have heard from numerous people who have told me the same thing:  I feel STUCK.  In fact I feel MORE than stuck – I AM stuck.

Trapped.

Unable to get out of a current situation.

Any of you who haven’t written me feeling this?

And what can we do about it?

Any ideas?

Here is my current situation.  I want to move.  Where is the question.  And how (resources $$).  I LONG for new (and current situation says we have a certain time to find this new home).  I am working diligently to increase my income.  Intending out my goddess ass for a new house, the right house.  We have “x” amount of dollars to pay for rent, and given evidence I am seeing with my 3D eyes in my 3D body, we have been priced out of our area if not most of the country.

I am really at a loss.  I communicate with higher self and now on this issue and feel/hear nothing.

I am aware of the changing timelines.  I felt one last night in my body with an experience with some neighbors where I physically removed myself out of the low energy of sludge I was experiencing.  That was a first.  So I know the importance of my intentions and focusing on the experience I desire, internally and externally.

I am also full of angst, as my latest writings are showing.  I don’t like feeling this way but I need to accept these are my internal experiences, right?

The big one in my face today – I see injustice and this lioness in me roars to make it right.

I have a strong intolerance in seeing others “getting away with stuff”.  I am the perpetual tattle tale with a sense of purpose.  (Ok that made me laugh.)

I live in a community that has a natural foods co-operative.  It’s totally changed.  They removed many of the old-timers and replaced them with the cheaper ($$insurance/benefits) variety – those under 30.

I know the story as I know someone who has worked there for over 20 years so I receive intel first-hand.  The former store manager ran the store into the ground financially and things got so bad, they had to call in some national organic co-operative organization.  The suits.  I heard about these meetings and I heard these folks weren’t, well, they didn’t come from the heart-space.  They marched in and took over.

If they hadn’t, bankruptcy was in the picture.

However, this manager was able to retire and walk away unscathed.  I saw this individual in the store today, being ass-kissed by the young workers.

I growled.  I (as a paying owner in this store) wanted to call her out.  Tell her what I know.  Tell her she needs to make amends.  Own her shit.

Seriously – it is that simple.  OWN YOUR SHIT.

It isn’t right she was able to get out of this unscathed, especially since as a result, others lost their jobs and/or their benefits – the older ones being the biggest target.

It just isn’t RIGHT.

It isn’t RIGHT cost of living is so outrageous.

It isn’t RIGHT the dark has been allowed to get away with their filth for so long.  With no consequences.

So many things that aren’t RIGHT in my mind and yes my ego but also my heart and soul – I don’t know what to do about any of it at this point.

So I rage and cry and release and purge and find my center again.

And refocus.

Refocus on what I DESIRE.  MY outcome.  MY paradise.

For reasons I yet do not know though, I feel a lot of blocks right now floating in the ether wishing to block progress.

Is this of the dark?

Or is this of our individual and collective “stuff” still needing a final cleanse and release?

Or a bit of both?

I don’t know but I will share my insights as they come…

And I will intend to post a more uplifting/high vibe piece soon.

But first, the tears…

Victoria

♥♥♥