Category: Daily Notes

I have had two experiences this week where I was letting others define me.  I had reached out to a couple of people, inquiring as to who I am on this Ascension journey as well as my purpose.

Both responses disappointed me.  Why?  Well, because I didn’t get the answer I had originally wanted and expected to receive.

So I let myself sit with that for awhile.  The disappointment.  The pain. Until earlier today when I was in the bathroom.  I often receive clarity when I am either in or around water.  In fact, people close to me know to listen when I say I received a message in the bathroom as that is the one place I receive most of my Insights.

I had a visual of Neo from The Matrix.  He has just visited the Oracle, inquiring as to whether he is “The One”.  He isn’t quite sure Who He Is much less what is Role is in his new-found Awakening.  Here is a portion of their conversation:

Usually when I begin one of my pieces, I start with the title first. Tonight though, I have no idea what to call this piece.  Goodbye? Hello?  Purging? I am sitting here by the fire, the air outside is chilled by winter’s calling, and as I was reflecting, the song below comes on the music channel I listen to.  It always moves me to tears.  It brings out thousands of lifetimes of pain, celebrations, disappointments, hello’s and good-bye’s.

We are in amazing times and I do not say that lightly.  We sit on the cusp of something huge.  The “IT” moment.  And if my body is telling me the truth, we have made this attempt before, only this time we are crossing the finish line.  If you are reading this, chances are you have been on this journey with me – perhaps in the metaphoric sense, perhaps in the literal sense.  We each have had thousands of lifetimes, each one a spark in our awakening.  Our Amazing Souls have spoken to us, lifetime after lifetime, calling us to Remember so that we may escape this dark matrix of control. The light has spoken to us through our connections with others as well as the dark.  A tug-of-war you can say.

Do we go with what we feel in our bodies and in our hearts?  Do we listen to the skepticism and doubt of the mind?  We have all had thousands of lifetimes where we are faced with this decision.

It’s all energy and it comes down to Love.  Does it make us feel alive?  Go with that.  Everything else is an illusion – illusion in that there is something more – something more awesome and wonderful.

I have loved for thousands of lifetimes.  And so have you.  Let’s pull up all of that love throughout those experiences and feel it and share it.  And then let’s all go experience thousands of lifetimes of loving one another in the higher dimensional frequencies, away from control, away from those who have sought to keep us in the dark as to Who We Really Are.

♥Love♥

Life has sure been showing me where my pain still resides.  Reminding me of all of these silly games we humans play with one another.  How we think we’re smarter than another.  Or better.  More aware.  More deserving.  How we think because we have more education or money or stuff or a bigger house that makes us secure.  Important.  Protected.

We had learned to live our lives in these frenzies, fighting to keep up. Fighting to keep ahead.  Fighting to improve.  Fighting to hide.  Just fighting.

When all along we have been running.  Running from ourselves.  Running from fear.  Fear to show the world – I feel alone.  I am afraid.  I am TERRIFIED.  I HURT.  I feel empty.  I feel lost.  Am I ok?  You sure seem ok to me but as for myself, well I feel a mess.  Could it be we are really alike? Do you look around to the outside and think how messed up everything is? Do you long to look into the eyes of every person you encounter and see yourself?  Do you long to hold and hug every person you see?  Do you long to have someone do all of this for you?

Don’t you just want to stand up or sit down and let it all go.  Let the tears go.  Forgive everyone who has ever hurt you.  Forgive yourself for not believing in yourself.  Forgive yourself for thinking you were small and insignificant.  Forgive yourself for believing all of those false beliefs others and you thought you were deserving of.  Freedom is forgiveness.  Forgiveness is freedom.  Let the liberation begin.  Now.

You see, your pain is my pain.  Your anger is my anger.  Your fears.  Your struggles.  Your happiness.  Your celebrations and your breakthroughs and your ups and downs and in-between’s.  We all share this experience today.

For when I appear invisible to you…you really are invisible to yourself.  For we are all a part of the same Life.  Look inside.  You know it’s true.  Reach out to me and take my hand.  And we can walk together into Eternity.

Earlier today I read a piece on ascension/energy updates and came across this little goodie:  “Need is lack.”  Immediately my body went on the defensive.

Ok, I thought, so now we’re not supposed to “need” anything.  I began walking around my kitchen saying “I don’t need money.  I don’t need food.  I don’t need shelter.  Or love.  Heck, I don’t need a DAMN thing!”

I can be quite dramatic at times.

My response was my classic passive-aggressive response for something that makes me feel exasperated, especially when challenged and this challenge was no exception given saying “I need” is a pretty common statement that runs through my brain on a regular basis.

I caught myself this time though and instead of going further down the path of human drama, that Wise One inside said “look deeper for the real meaning.”  This wasn’t about blame.  Or judgment.  Or even questioning or doubting myself.

“I need.”  What else could I say instead, I pondered.

“I have.”

Hmmm.  Ok.  I have.  So instead of saying “I need __” I can say “I have __”.  Since we’re jumping all over the place with the timelines, maybe stating things knowing – or at least attempting to get to that place of knowing – I already have it, that will switch things up a few notches for me on the manifestation wheel.  And given I believe one of the things I will be accomplishing for myself as I continue to Ascend is a return to my power of instant manifester, it felt right to me to say “I have” in place of “I need.”

Onto the symptoms.  Energetically, right now, I feel I am being compressed, for lack of a better word.  I experience tightness in my chest at times lately and in other parts of my body.  The drugged sensation is back again and my ability to form sentences at times, well the more tired I feel, that just ain’t happening.  Earlier tonight, while getting ready to scrub the tub, I called out to my partner to bring me the “thing”.  What thing?  You know, the THING, I said, waving my hand in exasperation, not understanding why he couldn’t just read my mind and bring me the damn bathroom cleaner.  I then just imitated myself scrubbing the tub.  Oh how I long for telepathic communication where TALKING is an OPTION.

I am also becoming nocturnal.  I have always preferred the night hours and have never been a morning person.  However, it is as though my entire Being is shifting in this direction and demanding I stay up later and later and sleep longer and later each day.  My mate is experiencing this as is our child.

Then there are the food cravings.  I am female and I certainly get food cravings during certain times of the month.  However, I am not in that particular time right now. I am in the time of my normal cycle where food cravings just aren’t a “thing”.  Right now though – WOW!  I want chocolate.  Doesn’t matter what form it comes in, I want chocolate. Chocolate cake (which I made one today).  Milk chocolate candy bars. Dark chocolate.  And maple syrup – with peanut butter.  On french toast.  (Yes that is a thing and yes it is DELICIOUS!  That was today’s lunch.) Thankfully I am craving fruit and lemon water just as desperately, so I am getting some good “healthy” alternatives mixed in.  Although I have to ask these days just what is normal and just what is healthy anymore?  If everything is changing (and it sure feels that way to me at every level of my existence), all of the old ways are becoming meaningless.

One last thing.  The questions.  I have been having more questions lately about this process.  I am the type who wants to know the Truth – yesterday.  Are we really ascending?  Are all of these symptoms that seem to be Universal, more or less, for so many, really due to Ascension?  Is it instead some part of the Matrix – another agenda – another energy grid being laid out that will just give us another illusion of freedom and if so, how would we even know?  If this process is all about Faith and Trust, wouldn’t it be nice to know just exactly WHAT we are putting our faith and trust into?  Some seem to be almost blindly walking this journey, no doubt whatsoever as to what is happening.  Are they naive?  Or do they just know something I don’t?

Who knows.  What keeps me going are the little marks along my journey I have experienced since childhood that have told me I am here to be a part of something Big.  The moment at age 3 or 4 when I was watching my family mingle during a Christmas morning, and I felt my body freeze as I thought “they don’t get it – they don’t see what’s really happening”.  This strange moment of pure insight was gone as quickly as it came and I snapped out of that state and returned to playing with my dollies.  Then there was the moment when I was 19 and had a woman tell me I had the brightest aura she could recall seeing on a person – the most awesome insight and compliment I had ever received.  At the time I heard my Wise One again say “remember these words” – I did and I am grateful for it. They have gotten me through some lonely, dark moments.

Then the numbers began showing themselves, making up countless moments since that time.  Then there were the dreams of a completely brand new way of Living and Being coupled with daytime visions.  Add in the numerous paranormal experiences and the one telepathic communication with a Light Orb in the night sky that completely took away the feeling of homesickness I had felt my ENTIRE life – for just a few moments – until it winked out.

In between these little moments was a never-ending feeling of KNOWING I am here to be a part of something really amazing.  An escape.  A return to Self.  A liberation.  A reclaiming of Truth of all that I ever was and ever will be.  And a wish that Humanity as a whole would also be breaking free.

So be good to yourself Human People’s.  Be kind to one another.  And enjoy this ride we all are experiencing.

Love and blessings~

Victoria

By: Me, Myself and I

As I watch this #pizzagate horror unfold, I am overwhelmed with emotions, not just for the millions of beautiful, innocent, precious children and their magnificent souls, but for myself as well and all of the rest of us who have been abused at the hands of sick, psychopathic adults who somehow get high or some sort of a twisted thrill intentionally harming children.

With each day that passes, with every single fucking horrifying hour that ticks by while the whores of the mainstream media refuse to cover this, while their equally twisted minions make up fake bullshit lists of (supposedly) fake news sites, this means another child goes without rescue, without healing, without justice.  As all of this blatant cover-up continues, the abusers are still avoiding the prison time they deserve, where if the people would have a say, these fuckers would have their eye lashes pulled out one at a time.  Then their toe nails.

You get the picture.

Normally I am by nature a very compassionate, empathetic person.  I see the pain in others.  I see how this pain, when not treated, causes us to behave in ways we wouldn’t normally behave.

However, when it comes to child abuse and especially child sexual abuse, I have no compassion for the abusers.  I don’t give a shit what happened to them as children or as adults.  I don’t give a shit what system stooge got ahold of them and corrupted them with promises of power and thrills and control.  I have no mercy on them or their souls.  None.  Zero.  Zip.  Nada. You let yourself sink to those lows, you no longer deserve to be alive – anywhere. You lose the right to exist with the rest of humanity.  For to do this to a child you not only damage their minds, but their hearts and their souls.  They are FOREVER changed.

And because of this – WE ALL OWE THEM.

To those who wish to dismiss this as some cover-up, I will say this: because of the very nature of the topic, you owe yourself, you OWE IT TO THOSE CHILDREN, to at least go through the information.  Do your own digging.  Do your own researching.  And then, after you have spent time (and I don’t mean just 15 minutes – I mean hours), you can then tell me, to my face and to the face of those millions of children who have been abused and assaulted and forced to experience horrors you and I could never even imagine – you face them with all of the information you come across and you tell them you think it’s a conspiracy.

You would have to be as twisted and psychopathic as the abusers themselves.

May justice and mercy and truth and Source Love guide every last one of us during this time.

This is going to be short and sweet.

Thoughts create.

We are the Master Creators of our Universe.

Plasma coming from the Sun is activating our DNA.  We have plasma in our blood which is being upgraded by the plasma in the sunlight.

TPTB know this and this is part of the reason for geoengineering and chemtrails.  To block out the Sun.

We can stop this though.

First, know the Higher Dimensionals, Earth Elementals and Our Galactic Families are doing their part and are in this for the long haul with us.

What can you and I do?

Intend every day and visual blue skies and sunshine.

Every day.  Around the clock.  Intend it.

Visualize those blue, clear skies.

Visualize our brilliant Star sending us those plasma waves and energy that is literally turning us back into Who We Really Are.

When it happens, BLESS the experience.  Give thanks.  Ask for more.  I have found saying “thank you more please” is easy to remember, feels really good and is very powerful.

Let’s do it!  Starting NOW.

Until next time…

Love, peace and beautiful blessings~

Victoria

Many of us in the ascension community have reported seeing the repetition of numbers.  The 11:11, 1:11, 2:34 and others of numerical sequences, 222, 333, etc. etc.  We have become quite familiar with seeing these numbers over the months and years.

My journey with this experience began in the mid-1990’s when I was in my 20’s.  I was a newbie in the awakening state and at the time, I was questioning religion.  It started with seeing 11:11 then 12:34.  In time, it went to triple digits – 111, 222, 333, etc.  I had just gotten online and was blown away that I wasn’t the only person experiencing this phenomenon.  Eventually I found a site that said each sequence of numbers had a spiritual interpretation.  I used that as a guide off and on for years until a few years ago when I felt such interpretation, while well-meaning was more or less new age dogma.  I came to that conclusion because it just wasn’t making sense to me – the interpretations.  While helpful at times, it just wasn’t providing me with the answers I continued to seek.  And when I was honest with myself, it never did.

This past couple of years, I began to read about how these numbers, when we see them, meant we were receiving downloads to our DNA. That made more sense to me.  However, I also felt that there was some meaning behind each number given numbers have their own vibrational frequencies.  Thinking this through, I still didn’t feel fully satisfied with it.  For that I have to feel something “a ha” in my body and I just wasn’t feeling it yet.  Frustration quickly set in so much so that when I would see a number, I found myself dismissing them.  At times, I would my roll my eyes or toss out an unpleasant comment. Then there were times I would yell: “would you TELL ME FOR ONCE what these numbers mean?”  For awhile, I didn’t see any numbers at all and I was ok with that.  However, they began to increase again the past few months again to the point where it was several times daily. That is until around a week ago when suddenly, I seemed to get “cut off” from the experience.

This morning I got something new on all of this.  My spouse has been seeing the numbers in large amounts lately – daily.  But for me, as I said, I’m just not seeing them.  When he announced this morning that he saw the 11:11 again and was all excited, inside my little child said “Why not ME?  Why aren’t I seeing them anymore?”

That is when I heard the word “compass” in my mind.  Then a flood of information came in, giving me tears and chills.  When this happens – when I first receive a 1-2 word response followed by information I then feel in my body – I know I have hit gold.  My Higher Self.

Compass.  What this means, and again this is just for me but I also feel it will eventually apply to all of us in some way, is that seeing these numbers is helping to create some sort of an energetic compass within our beings.  This compass holds all of our information, all of our wisdom, all of US that will guide us where to go and what to do. For most of us, while we are told to go within for answers, most of us have still searched on the outside for answers.  For validation.  And yet I believe we are being lead to an experience where we really won’t need to do that.  Nor will we want to.  Why?  Because we will finally have that Eternal Internal Compass of All Knowing at full operational capacity.

It’s as though this compass will guide us in everything we do – from cooking our food to dressing ourselves to transporting ourselves to communicating with one another.  Whatever we DO – it will guide us. The conductor of our long-awaited superpowers?

Yes.

I visualize it as slowly turning on an amazing machine of information, bit by bit, piece by piece, with our Higher Selves and Universal Source. This machine has been turned off for eons due to its circuitry being disconnected.  These numbers are the Universe’s way of saying we are being turned back on again.

As stated above, numbers vibrate at their own individual frequencies. So certain numerical patterns contain their own bits of code, of information, that we are ALL compiling and activating individually.

Is it necessary that our ego’s and our brains KNOW this code?  I don’t believe so.  Since we are all evolving to and ascending to a place where we will be purely intuitive/being Being’s living in the NOW, our brains won’t really need to figure it all out. Although I admit it would be nice to know what this is all about and get to know all of those tidbits of information that are being uploaded to our DNA.

So stay tuned.

Inward.

And know if you aren’t seeing the numbers as you once did, that’s ok. Perhaps you have received enough uploads.  For now.

Or perhaps it means you simply no longer need to see them and all of the information you “need” has already been put in its place, awaiting activation.  WHEN exactly will this full activation occur?  The million dollar question.  I haven’t a clue.  My Higher Self is quiet on this one at the moment. Yes, this frustrates me too as I want answers and I want them now!  But you can be sure once I do receive that information, I will pass it on.  If I even need to.

I will end with a prayer I just started saying that helps me Remember my vast database of Universal Wisdom.  It’s a variation of a prayer I found on Doreen Virtue’s site.

“Dear Source – Please guide me and remind me of the Power in which you instilled within Me at the moment of my Creation.  Please help me to feel completely comfortable with my Power, to Remember and Know how to direct this Power with Love and Pure Intention so that I may live the life of freedom, joy and abundance I desire and am oh so worthy of.  Thank you!”

I had an experience tonight at the grocery store.  It was crowded and there were only 3 spaces available that I could see.  Two were in an area that is difficult to navigate (this particular store has a very poorly laid out parking lot) and one was in front one of those charging stations – easy to pull into and plenty of room for a young child who likes to open up doors wide (parents will get that one).  There are no signs indicating only electric vehicles may park there.  I have actually never seen an electric vehicle park there and use the service.  I also see non-electric vehicles park in the spaces frequently.

So we (child and I) pull in.  We get out, proceed to walk to the store, when a woman in an electric car stops in front of my car and asks me if that is my car.  Yes, I reply thinking did I leave on my lights or something.  She then tells me I can’t park there, she has to charge her car and I need to move my car.  At first I glance around the lot – where can I park?  The place is packed.  So I tell her “there are no signs indicating only electric vehicles can park here and I believe I can park there.”  She tells me I can’t.

So what do I do, I thought.

I opted to be generous, got back into the car with my child, made sure she got buckled up in her booster seat and made a mental note that once inside, I would get the store policy on this.  I didn’t want to violate it unnecessarily.

Well, turns out store policy says those spaces (of which there are two) are open to all vehicles.  The clerk apologized and said the woman was not in the right to tell me I had to park elsewhere.

The fact that I moved my car doesn’t bother me.  It was this woman’s attitude.  I’m ok with doing the kind thing for my fellow human.  However I am not ok with this sense of entitlement some have. Those with more money.  Those who drive these types of vehicles and their air of “Lookie me saving the environment.”  I am sensitive to energy and this woman had the “I am better than you” stick far up her ass.  I could feel it, see it.

For at no time did she ask if I wouldn’t mind moving my car.  And when I did, at no time did she thank me.

This higher dimension better get her fucking sooner than later so I do not have to engage with such people anymore.  I am tired of the bullies.  Tired of those who think they are more entitled to x y z.  And good lord tired of folks who think their shit doesn’t stink.

Truth is – it stinks for us all.  At times we all stink.

We may be different.  And as hard as it is for me to swallow sometimes, we all – this woman included – come from the same Life.

If this happens again I may move.  Or I may not.  It all depends on how I am asked.  Kindness combined with gratitude, after all, goes a long way.