Category: Daily Notes

Are any of you from Montana?  I need a change in my life as nothing is moving for me in my current location.

Thank you and blessings~

Victoria

[wpedon id=”208″]

Having love for all.

Some seem to have great ease with this.

I am not one of these people.

Maybe it is my age.

Or maybe it is just me.

As one who has grown weary of so much, I have stumbled into this space where I don’t care to be around others, much less feel love for them.

In fact, I have a rather strong disdain towards the masses today.  My heart has shut herself off ~ lost faith in this grand awakening.

Today, I simply want to Go Home.

Go to that place I have seen in my dreams and waking visions.

My new home on this new earth.  The new construct.

Next to my little one, it is the only thing giving me peace these days.

I have a bitter taste in my mouth when I think of reaching out and helping others awaken.

Not that it was ever my responsibility or anyone else’s to awaken another. Sharing myself with others, my thoughts and the like, just ain’t happening.  I feel like either they are disappearing or else I am.

I have impressions and memories of once being a very Aware Being, very Loving.

Once.

While I am Aware, I am not so into the feeling love-to-all.

Does this mean I’m not as aware as I think?

Am I just burned out?

I don’t know.

I just know what I want.

And this way of living on this earth doesn’t cut it for me anymore.  And I cannot seem to muster up the patience, desire or strength to get past that.

Today I walked up to my mate, leaned into him and said “my god I just cannot do this anymore!”

I can’t.

And I don’t know what to do with this feeling state.

Do you ever stop and think “How long is a person supposed to just hang on?”

Earlier, while in the garage cleaning up the days toys, I felt this fatigue wash over me.  I sat down in the chair, looked up at the chemtrail ridden sky.  It was unbelievable today.  For that moment, I wished I had ignored those questioning voices within.  For that moment, I wished I was still asleep.  I actually began to tell the controllers they could have my Soul again in the Matrix for another cycle, wipe my brain of all of this information I have stuffed it with the past 25 years, in exchange for me to get my health back, the energy to be the kind of parent I want to be and for financial success.

A very tempting offer I was starting to create.

While I still desire and intend the above, I immediately stopped myself from proceeding further.

The dark night of the soul, perhaps.

Ugh.  I thought I had gone through that process before.

I just simply feel trapped against a wall, my vision too cloudy to see the next step.  My fatigue at an all-time high.  (Any of you feeling the need to sleep all day the past several days?)

All I want to do now is sleep.

Is this normal?

Something with which to concern myself?

I thought I came here to do this love-all stuff.

Spread my truth.

Share my light.  My love.

Maybe my work is done.

Or maybe I just need a break.

Or maybe perhaps I just need to remember to love myself all over again ~ in some new way.

Whatever is going on with me is running very deep, leaving me feeling quite alone (anyone else having relationships end as well), in a quiet, comfy bed where sleep becomes the best friend.

Earlier, on my social media page, I wrote a little statement about standing in ones Power and being the Creator of ones life.  Then I heard “no man is an island”, which for me means “no one makes a life on his/her own”.   Creation/Being is not a completely solitary experience.  Therein lies the paradox that comes up for me when I think about those topics, the resulting truth being we need one another.

Later on, I received an e-mail stating a request for help for a woman who is battling cancer and who is seeking some stable housing, having had a far too stressful housing situation for over 6 months with little financial ability.  (Hopefully I will be sharing the e-mail here once I receive permission as it is a private e-mail group.)

Her story tore at my heart and angered me at the same time.  I would love nothing better than to contact this woman, and either tell her I know of someone in her area who has available housing for little cost or free, or ask her how much she needs and write her a check.  No strings.  Just go alleviate that unnecessary struggle/suffering.  Then I heard the voices of rugged individualism, voices of the old paradigm, which said things like “she has to be responsible for her own life” and “writing a check would only enable her” and my least favorite “maybe she needs to learn a lesson from this.”

Telling those voices they no longer apply in my new paradigm, my new reality I am creating, I was suddenly drawn to turn to the television.  A new song I had never heard before was playing on the music channel I had on.

Higher Self said “look at song title”.

So I did.

“No Man Is An Island” was the name of the beautiful song I was listening to.

Wow.

I began to weep.

I will never cease to be moved by such moments of synchronicity.  (And here’s another ~ I stopped typing after writing out “I began to weep” and noticed wordpress said my draft had been saved at 11:11.)

This Ascension process is creating all sorts of realities for us.  I am seeing many pull back and retreat.  I see some claim the time to stand on our own is now.  Words like self responsibility are common place.

And I agree and resonate.

However, let us not forget that even during this next stage of shifting we are both creating and experiencing, that this is also a Collective Experience we are having.

Being Sovereign doesn’t mean we stand on our own at all times.  It means that WHILE we stand in our own power, this can and will include those times when we need another/others (or we assist others).  For self-responsibility only means the ability to respond to a situation ~ as best as one can.  There are times when that ability is stronger than at other times.

I leave you here with a video of the song, No Man Is An Island.  The ending lyrics hit home the most:  We don’t have to do it alone.

What does the song and the message mean to you?

Blessings, Sovereignty, Freedom and Unity~

Victoria

The time has come for me to change things up.  I simply cannot continue to put in the time I have on this site for free.  I will continue to post pieces by others here but from here on out, many of my daily notes (with the intention of all as time passes) will be going to my Patreon account (here is the link), which will be a subscription only.  I feel asking for regular readers to contribute $1-$5/month is a very reasonable request.

I need to improve my finances, as I have stated on more than one occasion.  I have a disabled spouse and a young child I care for and this website was created to share my writings (as well as products and services) and the writings of others on the topics listed as well as to earn a consistent income.  This has not happened as I intended and I have to admit I am very disappointed as a result.  Reaching that fork in the road, I have to take a new direction.

Blessings ~

Victoria

Let me begin with the lyrics from Pink Floyd’s “Money” ~

[wpedon id=”208″]

This is one of my humanitarian project ideas.  I have been on the search for an authentic humanitarian organization for assistance in turning my idea into a reality.  I wish to share my vision with my readers.  It is time.

***

Susie’s Place

A Sanctuary For Women and Children of Unsafe Living Situations

To begin with, let me tell you a bit about who I am and how I arrived at my business model. My name is Vicki, although I prefer to go by Victoria. I am the mother of a 6 year old and the wife of a man with chronic health issues. Like my friend Susie, I understand the situation of being bound by financial dependence. I am a very creative, bright woman who holds deep convictions about Love and Right Action. I have many ideas for a New Earth and this is just one of them I am presenting here.

I met my friend Susan, who I always called Susie, through an internet message board for women who deal with panic and agoraphobia. We continued an e-mail/regular mail and phone relationship for almost 20 years. We shared almost everything two women can share with one another. Living on different coasts, we never did meet in person, but that did not put a damper on the emotional bond we created.

Susie died last August just a few weeks of being diagnosed with cancer. She came from a violent background of abuse, starting in childhood and continuing through her first marriage (which ended in divorce) and ending in her last relationship, which was the most violent. Her last partner was physically, mentally and emotionally abusive, with the physical element growing in frequency towards the last few years of their relationship. She suffered from panic and agoraphobia, so working and supporting herself was a great challenge. I tried what I could to help her, giving her ideas for treatment, making money and the like. I offered up my home for her to stay in.  She had already phoned the local police and they failed to take the situation seriously.  Neighbors knew but did nothing.  Apparently that’s how they do it in certain areas of the country.  

I told her to call a shelter, which was met with resistance.  “I am too sick to work.  You know that!” she would insist. It was those words that started me thinking about how the system handles victims of domestic violence.

Throughout those years, I became more determined and incensed that there was not more help for women in these situations. A growing conviction of “DO SOMETHING” consumed me at times. My idea for a Women’s Sanctuary began to take root several years ago. However, it was her death that really woke up my inner “DO SOMETHING” warrior(ess).

While her death hit me very hard, devastated me actually, it was not really that much of a surprise she got cancer. After years of abuse, her beautiful heart/mind/body/soul could only take so much. She went quickly, within weeks. I have since felt her around me and feel she is at peace and really in her own deep way, wanted to leave this Earth. Not an easy thing for her friend left behind to process – especially since I am the type to think “if only I could have really DONE something for her!”

So her death got me to thinking about the kind of help the System offers women seeking to escape violent living situations. In a nutshell, it is grossly lacking. It stinks. It sucks. You are expected to get back on your feet quickly, get a job, be self-supporting. Be like the masses. The normal folks. What so many fail to realize is that when you have been abused, you are exhausted. You feel broken. You are deeply traumatized.  You have issues of trust and self-worth.

What these women need is a place to heal. A place where they can go and receive the unconditional help they so need. Without judgment. Without control. Without expectations.

My Business Model would consist of the following:

A place to stay for the woman and her children (if any) for as long as is needed.

A place where the woman is given the chance to truly heal by providing a variety of healing modalities, including but not limited to:

1) Counseling

2) Massage and other body work

3) Energy work

4) Trauma release therapy

5) Personal empowerment training

6) Personal coaching (to determine what she wants to do next with her life – then provide her the tools and resources to help her create her vision.)

7) Support group(s)

8) Healthy meals

9) Peaceful grounds – surrounded by nature

10) Private apartments

11) Exercise classes – yoga, martial arts, weight room

As you can see, a variety of services to help the woman heal – TRULY heal – mind, body and soul.

I believe every city, big and small, can benefit from such a model.

We owe it to the Susie’s of the world and their children to provide them with nothing less.

[wpedon id=”208″]

I have a friend who has health issues (like who doesn’t these days, right?) who is also in need of housing.  Being on disability, combined with the (insane!) cost of rentals in the area, is making her choices very limited.  It aches my heart. I have intended myself to have the resources of a philanthropist for a long while now so that I can help people like my friend ~ and I am not giving up on that dream.  I would love nothing more right now, nothing more, than to write her a check and say “here you go ~ go get yourself stable!”  Whoever says “money can’t buy you happiness” does not understand the new age fluff behind those words.

Nonsense!  It was likely a Rockefeller or Royal who came up the phrase to quiet the masses they have controlled.

I know many of you can agree money has quite often ended up in the wrong hands, “wrong” because of the greed that has gone on among the elite for so very long.  There are plenty of resources ~ of all kinds ~ to ensure everyone has safe, secure housing, healthy food and water, education and healing.  You all know that.

I have followed a variety of intel for some time now.  We all know the phrase “use discernment”, which is important, and yet how many of us are just damn weary of using our discernment, either resonating with a message or not being sure about it only to have the info. turn out to be false.  This is why I always appreciate it when people do share their intel and it turns out to be false, they have a big enough heart and a small enough ego to admit they missed the mark.

We all want the Truth as to what’s going on behind the scenes in the world of money, politics, health and healing, disclosure, Ascension, the truth about Gaia and the Universe/Cosmos.  And knowing that Truth is every bit as much of a basic human right as are the issues mentioned above.  

Currently there is talk that the RV has already begun.  The restored U.S. Republic, already in progress.  Healing tech, about ready to be released. Pipe dreams?  Truth?  Who knows.

All I know is that the unnecessary suffering of far too many people has gone on long enough.  How many more people have to die or remain sick due to lack of accessing healing methods that work?  How many more people have to lose their homes?

We all deserve liberation.  Freedom.  Sovereignty.

Not some day.

Today.

I am copying dutchsinse who always greets his viewers on his youtube channel with similar words.  I find it sweet.

I have an idea to keep this site going.  If everyone who is a regular reader would commit to donating $1 – $5/month, I could keep this thing going. I am deeply appreciative of those who have donated and just as appreciative as those who regularly read and comment, both here and in private.

Thank you and blessings to each of you.

Victoria

I had another vision this morning as I held the moldavite stone.  I could feel myself going from this frequency upwards to the space where we don’t think with our brains but rather we BE and KNOW.  I was trying to think of an answer to something and I heard in that left ear “expand higher and Be and Feel within”.  So I did.  And wow ~ did I feel myself in a much lighter frequency.  Really peaceful.  Of course I got too excited over the experience I didn’t stay in it long enough to get the guidance I was seeking but oh well.  That is where we’re going.  The work lands straight on us to practice going there and staying (well with the help of the increasing energy fields coming at us).

Will be working on the Lemuria piece today.  In the meantime, here’s some cool old music to listen to.  I’m intending it to be played at the Reunion Celebration when this 3d gig is up.