Category: Daily Notes

I have an ego the size of Texas.  At times.  Growing up, watching the adults around me, I told myself it was better to be the one in control than the one being controlled.  I also, naturally, have a very strong will.  Put those together, and that is a classic cocktail for creating a monster of an ego.

Thankfully I also have some humility too.  And grace.  So those times when I feel attacked, not heard or validated and the volcano within threatens to overflow or, god forbid, blows up, I can just as easily be quieted with an olive branch presented with good intention.  What started as a raging inferno can quickly turn into a cool flow of sweet chocolate (and for those who know me best, it ALL comes down to chocolate). Continue reading “Ego, Ego, Wherefore Art Thou Ego?”

I remember in my 20’s reading an interview with Nicole Kidman. Speaking of relationships, she said, and I quote, “Monogamy is not natural.”  Those words resonated with me at the time, and I didn’t know why.  In fact, I was only 25, newly married myself, so I tried to convince myself she was some strange hippy who was into orgies – the only way at the time I was able to dismiss my interest in her words while maintaining my own illusion that I was some pious angel who never even thought of other men much less desired to connect with them in whatever way came naturally to me.

However, as I came to learn, once a chord of Truth is struck within, it never leaves you.

Never. Continue reading “Redefining Relationships”

I had a very interesting, passionate conversation with my neighbor about the right to self-govern.  He holds the belief that we need government to maintain civility, to solve poverty and to make sure our kids are off the streets and well-educated.  Interesting perspective, I stated, hand on my chin, pondering what he had said.

My mind began to form an opinion in response.  It took me a few moments as it often does.  Thankfully, for the most part, I have become much better at giving myself this necessary time instead of spouting off whatever comes to mind, which always leads me to feeling lesser about myself and with lingering regret. Continue reading “Is Humanity Ready To Truly Govern Itself?”

I receive messages when I am around water – usually when I am in the bathroom either bathing or standing at the sink.  I have had these experiences for almost 20 years and have learned to listen to them.  Sometimes the messages come from my higher self, other times they are from people who have passed over.  When I share them with others, especially if it is someone with whom I have never shared, I usually add a little caveat by saying “I don’t claim to be psychic much less a channeler.  I just get these messages.”  It isn’t that I do not believe in psychic abilities – quite the opposite.  We are all psychic.  We all have that gift of “knowing”.  It’s just been repressed by a variety of system tools, namely religion and education and family expectations.  However, once one has the slightest inkling of “remembering” who they really are, they can begin to work at pulling up that energetic source, giving it a tune-up with practice.  It never leaves us – we just temporarily forget it’s there. Continue reading “The Goddess Speaks”

Taking a break from the seriousness of my previous “daily notes” on grief, I decided to tackle a subject that makes my stomach and butt cheeks tense up:  misspelled words.  I’m old school.  I grew up during a time in which my English teachers were absolute sticklers for properly formed sentences, which included properly spelled words.  Being a natural-born rebel meant I would usually scoff at anything a person in authority would attempt to instill in me – just because I felt like it.  However, something in me agreed with these English teachers:  A paper with misspelled words was incomplete and downright awful.   Continue reading “Confessions Of A Spelling Nazi”

I did some art therapy outside today under our big poplar tree.  I got into this technique last fall and found it to be effective.  I began by drawing sad, crying eyes, writing all sorts of words that came to mind.  Tears. Loss.  My friend.  And then – Why?

Why her?
Why so young?
Then I thought of the Billy Joel song, “Only The Good Die Young.”
And paused.

Then, I picked up the black colored pencil.  Held it for a moment.  Black.  That’s a good color for anger.  Then wrote it out.  ANGER.

I AM ANGRY.
Black lines followed, all over the page.  I need more than just black, I thought.  I paused.
Then I picked up the red pencil.  Good color, I thought, drawing a rose with jagged petals and thorns.  Lots of thorns.
“Only the good die young,” I hummed softly.
Why is that?
Seriously, I want to know.  WHY? Continue reading “On Grief – Part 4 – Hello Anger”

Oh grief, you chaotic, pain-in-my-ass friend.
Friend?
Yes, friend.
How can you call grief “friend”?

I do and can because you, grief, are making me softer and gentler.  You are making me feel at deeper levels how precious life is.  How to share my heart, to share my love, to share me, NOW.  Not later.  For really there is no later.  There is only NOW.  Only NOW is promised.

Continue reading “On Grief – Part 3”

I read this article today about how to respond to people who are grieving.  The last things to say, according to this article, are comments like “it’s all for the best” or “you will learn something from this” or “they are in a better place” or likely everyone’s least favorite: “this happens for a reason.”

While the author is a little bit extreme when he suggests to ditch these people, he is very correct when he asserts we don’t know how to deal with grief.  We don’t.  In fact, I feel guided to write about this because it is one of the things my friend who exited her body last week spoke of. Continue reading “On Grief – Part 2”

Man, the last week has really knocked me on my ass.  I know I promised to share some words on how to bring heaven here on earth, but that must wait.  As John Lennon sang, “Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.”  Well life indeed did happen to me last week.  It drop-kicked me into the state of grief.

I first received news last Friday that a very special person in my life, who recently had a tumor removed from his brain, now has brain cancer.  A rare form.  Having only reconnected with him in the past couple of years, the news hit me hard.  We knew each other as kids so there is an extra poignancy in all of this.  As I attempted to wrap my mind around this, the tears began to flow.  Within a couple of days I felt I was starting to be able to grasp the brevity of the situation when I received the news that a friend of mine died suddenly last Wednesday after recently being diagnosed with cancer. Continue reading “On Grief”