editor victoria’s comment ~ thank you to sister linea for putting this one up on her page. i am politely stealing it and using it here. lol anyone who comes here regularly knows how much i align with this – and how batshit crazy i can go within when others do this. as i continue to say – love asks “what do you need?” it doesn’t give unasked for advice or pretend to know your needs much less who you really are. enough assuming. let us ask – when someone is struggling – what do you need?
repeat after me. let us ask when someone is struggling – what do you need? then hold space for them. if you can. if you can’t, say so… recently when i was sharing my grief over the passing of our grandpa don, i was told to be strong. i stopped – and said “no.” lol not to be arrogant – but i was not about to be strong to make someone else comfortable. i ain’t always strong and in that moment i wasn’t. no one is – especially when in grief. i was also told to focus on the good times – as though i wasn’t already doing that. and ya know what? as i said – i am not ready to do that. i am hurting. if my pain is too uncomfortable for you, then we need not communicate any more. i would rather mourn alone than be around fake and that is what such behavior is – fake.
life is painful here at times and traumatizing. we can make that easier by holding space and just being with someone – silently – in their pain. and at least if we don’t feel we can do that, be honest and say so. (and yes there are exceptions to this – been there done that – seen it in myself – seen it in others)…
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Copied from friend. This is good and true.
….. I like to call it “false fake Ego light.”
Here goes:
Unpopular opinion:
We’re not usually encountering people who are struggling, just so we can call them “lower vibrational” and feed our egos as a “high vibe lightworker” while we ostracize them.
If we are called to help others, and hold space, l we’re going to have to learn how to actually “hold space”.
If we can’t or aren’t willing to learn how to do that, then we should get the fuck out of the game and stop compounding traumas.
People have enough issues to work out without our “higher vibrational” selves “nicely” inferring they’re a piece of shit.
I’m aware there are extreme situations that are the exception. I’ve lived a few of them. But most of the time it’s fake people being pussies and projecting.
Love y’all…♥️🔥🕉️
Sometimes more than others…
P.S. If you want or need help, reach out. For real. I got you 🤘
P.P.S. UPDATE I changed the you and you’re to us and we because I’ve done this myself and had to be called out on it before I realized the harm I was causing. A new friend reminded me of that, by holding space and using discourse, and I’m grateful for his perspective.
Copied from Steve, friend of Tina Kaczmarzewski… via Melissa Knochenhauer
