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saw this and thought “home”…

ok so let’s just begin by saying today ~ and yesterday ~ and a few days last week were days that if i did not have a child/family, i would have stayed in bed all.  day.  long.

schumann.  solar winds.  “out there” energies filtering in the ever weakening dome (the grid that surrounds it.  last night hearing it has a consciousness, it responds to us, resonated with me.  i had felt that before. so let us say “thank you now leave.”  be gone!  there is no joke in those words either.)

all of it adds up to W H E W.  i headed out today to spend some money on just me.  no one else.  no food.  not a bill.  but ME.  got some pretty girlie things.  nice to do that for myself.  i kept hesitating with the “oh you should save this for food or blah blah blah” but i said “nope.  i’m spending this on myself.  flow will provide.”  and besides, i heard a really quiet voice – this whole thing is about ready to shut down so spend it while you got it.

if it brings you joy, DO IT.  if not, if it isn’t necessary, don’t.  my go to words i have heard this week.

so heading out i was out of it.  simply not all here.  still not.  the woman at the store looked tired too.  my girl noticed it as well.  she had to ask me a question a couple of times before i could comprehend what she was asking.  i dropped my keys and looked at them wondering how that happened and for a brief second, they looked foreign to me.

if this is ME prepping me to get used to letting go of all of this, i’m good with that.

off and on the past week i have felt the inner vibrating.

i did also awake today with a heavy sense of apprehension.  deep sadness. the energy felt old and ancient.  i knew it was not just about me and i also knew it was not just buried stuff from this life.  both lisa harris and linea spoke of this collective “stockholm syndrome” some of us are feeling.  this feeling of the new coming and the apprehension we feel with that.

this feeling of new coming and not quite so sure you want to let go of the old ~ even if the old stinks and you just want to GO HOME NOW.

i let myself have the experiences.  i cried some.  took some deep breaths. said it’s ok to feel this way.  took some Bach Rescue Remedy as i felt i needed a little bit of something.  i don’t drink or smoke or do any drugs/pharma. sometimes chocolate isn’t enough so i reach for the flowers.

this is hard, isn’t it?  i feel some of us have been so invested in this experience and many of us have been coming to this realm for so long, we do have “attachments” to this experience.  for me personally, i feel i have not been fully ME in so many life cycles, the DNA has kinda forgotten the experience.  and knowing as well that when this happens, when this game ends, it is all in a moment of NOW (my feeeeeeeeel that is), adds to that “uhhhhh” feel.

nature is showing herself as well – changing.  we had our squirrel just show up on our side doorstep and stay there – a first!  last night some bird was “crying” for a long time.  while i am still here i would love to have the means to buy a filter for my camera or something for my computer that when i upload pics, i see more of what’s really there.  i can’t remember (nor find !!!) but one youtuber, female i believe, has such a filter and she recently began capturing images of the grid outline on the dome.  wow!  i would love to do that as i love capturing images unseen to our yet awakening eyes.  more than i do writing i would say.

our cool breezy weather continues.  as my mate has deemed it “the summer of the cool winds”.  as a friend in the ‘hood said “it’s like we live 5 minutes from the coast.”  given what i have seen of this house in dreams and visions going back over 10 years, where our home is minutes from the beach, in the back of my mind i heard, in a whisper, “maybe we do.”

maybe we are already there just waiting for the veil to drop.  then we will just, well, go!

much love, rest and peace,

victoria

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