Last Night’s Power Dream ~ Native American Symbols Everywhere


Wolf, White, Nature, Fauna, Wild Life

My dream began where I was standing at an entrance, watching mass amounts of people running with Wolves.  I was so intrigued and wanted to join in but felt hesitant.  Suddenly I heard over my left shoulder “you can go now” and I immediately thought “I can’t keep up with these people and their wolves.”  But I walked into the entrance and began to run.

And found it easy.  Surprisingly easy.  And liberating.  Next thing I know I am running faster than everyone, the wolves running along with me.  The joy and liberation I felt was huge, powerful, palpable.

As I rounded a curve, I saw where I would be exiting this experience.  I was ready for it, or so I thought.  Suddenly a lone White Wolf ran up to me, growling.  As this happened a large, beautiful Native American man with long shiny black hair appeared off to my right.  He felt very much like a Guardian/Protector.  His warrior energy was palpable.  As he put his hand on my back I said “Oh you are going to help me” and he said “No, you are doing this yourself.  You are ready.”

You are ready.

Upon hearing those words, and upon feeling his hand on my back, I suddenly grew massive white wings and flew up and away from the danger I thought I was encountering.  I looked at the growling white wolf as this happened and felt no fear.  It had tried to catch hold of my left hand, which suddenly had a glove on it.  It caught hold of a small piece of thread and I was easily able to release the wolf from its grips.  Something though told me there was a message from White Wolf.

I flew away and made a peaceful, easy exit.  I was left with a new feeling within of pure liberation and freedom ~ more solid and real and just absolutely awesome than any other time I have experienced in this human form.

After that experience, I went on to have a series of short dream experiences where I would enter a scene, see people from my past, observe what they were doing, bless them then move on.

It was then that I awoke, the beautiful feeling of pure freedom within.  I felt light.  Pure.  I felt like ME.  How I want to feel ALL THE FRIGGING TIME!

I believe the white wolf that approached me at the end of this journey was the part of me I am still afraid to show.  My assertiveness.  It’s easy in written words (most of the time).  But when encountering others, in person, I tend to “hold my tongue” and keep it in.

That could explain the nausea I have been experiencing lately.  And other life-long physical issues.  No surprise for me in this message.

Life and Higher Wisdom brought me 2 encounters today to put this assertiveness in practice.  The first one I wanted to simply say “none of your fucking business”.  Yes, that is the first thing that comes to my mind.  The nosiness of people at times in this realm appalls me.  The question asked was one of my child’s home schooling for the day. Seriously ~ it is none of your fucking business.  Are you paying for her material?  Are you supporting this family or me in any way?  Then stfu already.

I know, rude, right?  There are ways to handle such situations without the rudeness.  But that is a part of me within that has wanted to say those words to others countless times over the years:  None of your fucking business.

Today, instead, I interrupted her as she was quizzing my child and said “We follow the model they hold in Finland, which has the best educational model, where curriculum is not introduced until the age of 8 which studies show overwhelmingly is the best age to begin such learning.  Early childhood is for playing.”  I smiled as her eyes widened and she said “oh, ok, well that’s great!”

The second encounter occurred with a dog owner and her dog that had run out of an open door, into the parking lot, scaring me and sending my child running to get into the car.  We have had about half a dozen dog incidences this year with dogs, big and small, running after us, barking.

Not.  Fucking.  Cool.

So I was much more assertive this time, likely because I was feeling the anger and trauma of the previous experiences.  I realized last night those dog encounters this year have left me with some trauma as last night on a walk, my girl and I heard a dog barking aggressively inside a house we walked by.  Immediately my heart began to pound and my instinct was to run.  A first.  Dogs have NEVER freaked me out and this has me pretty upset, wanting to contact the owners of these dogs and tell them to pay up for some trauma release treatments.  I already know my daughter has trauma around these episodes but I wasn’t aware I did as well.  More shamanic work for both of us will be in order.

Anyway, so this time I turned to the owner and said “my daughter and I have issues with dogs that come charging after us, small or big.  You see my girl?  See how she has run inside the car?  She’s afraid.  Now I need you to pick up your dog and hold her so my child can get back out as we are not done shopping here.”  The owner apologized, held her dog and my daughter and I ended up petting the dog, who as it turns out was friendly.

As I pointed out to the owner, WE don’t know your barking dog is friendly. You might but we don’t.  Please consider that next time you let her just run loose.

Difficult for me to grasp some people are that stupid.  Dog runs out barking, child runs and hides, owner just continues along their journey not noticing a damn thing.  Yes, another part of Authentic Me coming out ~ which I can no longer deny.

The masses of humanity ~ just fucking S T U P I D.

Being a Spirit Being does not mean I am always carrying sparkles in my eyes and the “all is perfect” in a constant state.  Not in this realm. Not at all.  I have learned Pureness (White Wolf) also carries the energy of protection (Growling White Wolf) which can be soft and gentle or fierce depending upon the situation.  Be real.  Be Authentic!  She was trying to communicate that message with me last night ~ and I have heard her wisdom.

As my dream experience and beautiful Guide (who could very well have been a version of Me) showed me:  I have the Power Within.  I am Grander than I own ~ than I left myself FEEL.  And even though I much prefer not to, I can and will chew you a new one if you violate my boundaries.  It is now time to walk that Pureness of Strength in my body, my mind and spoken word ~ and not just in the hands that type these words.

Also of interest (adding this in after the fact):  yesterday, prior to having this dream, as I vacuumed, I suddenly had the thought “I wonder if I can grow wings out of my back” and had the image and feeling in my body of doing just that.  Not taking it literally but given the dream experience I had, this confirms my knowing that I do have that ability to fly.  Levitate.

That is all for now.

Much Love and Power~



merci pour votre don belle ame  

(i figure if i am asking for support via a donation i may as well educate at the same time)


Tonight’s Sky Capture ~ 10/25/2017


Taking a break from reading all of this intel/truth being released to just chill and meditate on some of tonight’s sky artistry.

The Challenge of 10/24 ~ Or “How Much Shit Is Still Within?!”


Emotions all over the place.  Body feels so tense in certain spots.  I stretched a lot today as I have the last few days.  Many walks.  At times quite intense.  Big movements.  Today I walked, swung my arms in large loops, lifted invisible weights and roared a few times.  Took my child to one of the local parks and let her run around while I sat alone, kicked some wood chips and had such an intense deep cry, I drooled.  And didn’t care who heard or saw.  Ascension vomiting 101.

I have that technique mastered.

I feel my energy within wants to expand and BE FREE of any and all restrictions.  It’s like I am deeply in the process of birthing my Real Self and she is pitching a fit in needing me to clean the internal house so she can have her own space.  Some days, like today, it feels like I am twins in a womb, fighting for space.

My head does weird buzzing things.  My bones hurt.  Again, ZERO desire to be around any sort of conflict, loud noise, endless talking.  Today I released the times I have been fake to myself.  Put on the pretend show.  I have done that for much of my life on a lot of areas, a lot of things, situations.  Family feels unnatural to me.  Anything “traditional” feels unnatural.  It isn’t that I don’t love my family.  I just need it to be something else.  I would likely feel “better” about this if I felt I were truly walking my path of purpose.  Certainly knowing I was with my tribe. Have I mentioned this reality authentically sucks to me?  lol  Today I feel so absolutely out of place ~ much like I do much of the time ~ but the effects today are DAYEM.  A whole new level.

I was thinking about this realm, this reality.  Today while I was in the bathroom, my woo woo message space, I felt/heard that the matrix is an overlay of multiple realities we are ALL creating, knowingly or unknowingly.

Well ok then, I thought.  What am I supposed to do with that then?

Be absolutely meticulous on my thoughts ~ those focused thoughts.  Can I really “create” my way into a whole different realm?  My “version” of paradise?

Cause this isn’t it ~ obviously.  It is painful to know within you have had different and now realize opting to come to this realm for this final showdown was perhaps a bit more of a challenge than originally “felt”. The curtain can fall any time now.  I have no reason to wait.  None.  I am tired. Every damn day I am tired.  I ground.  I release.  I rest and nap and sleep and eat well and all of that.  And still I am tired and when in my deepest quietest moments, I want this experience over.  Too many cycles and loops that end the same ~ leave the body and thinking ok NEXT cycle will be the liberation of our species.  I am supposed to be doing something different.  I have a restlessness that won’t go away.  Even in my moments of “all is well”, that inner restlessness, which I began feeling almost 20 years ago, still remains.

I leave this one with no answers other than I want an end to ground hog day.


A Strange and Interesting “Dream”


I had this dream last night which left me feeling I was entering another layer of the awakening onion.

It was simple enough.  I was inside a large room with a large skylight for a roof.  I was drawn to look up and outside.  The sky was dark.  I began to see these white lights coming through what seemed like cracks in the night sky.  Suddenly it began to literally rain these various shapes of what I felt was titanium.  “Those are the stars!” I yelled, then woke up.

Apparently there have been mysterious spheres falling from space that have stumped folks (supposedly) educated in these matters.  I found some articles and a few videos.  Here is a link to one video.  I was then suddenly drawn to look into The Truman Show (a movie I have been drawn to watch lately, I might add).  I watched it when it first came out – and while I had been questioning and awakening, this was years before I began to question the nature of our physical reality.  There is a scene in the movie where a canister falls from the sky with the word “Sirius” written on it, which is said to be the brightest star in our sky (the stars are falling…). Truman (True Man) picks it up and this is what sparks his awakening to the fake reality in which he has been living, which includes a dome of fake stars, moon, even people.

Disclosure, the truth, has been all around us, often hidden in movies such as The Matrix and many others, The Truman Show being one of the big ones.

I don’t know what else to say about this other than I felt I tapped into another layer of truth.

A Visit With A LadyBug


As I swept out front this afternoon, I noticed a ladybug in my hair.  I have been having them land on me since about mid-summer but they typically take off quickly.  This one hung out with me.  I spoke with her and continued to sweep.  She stayed there for several minutes and I thought “get a picture”.  Within moments of taking this picture, she had left.  It was a beautiful experience.  

I Tuned Into The “All” Today


Universe, Sky, Star, Space, All, Cosmos

I had some precious rare moments of solitude today where I tuned into some of the happenings in the “All”, namely on two situations.  One, the Pulse/Event and two, what is going on financially right now globally. Being money was most present in my mind, I sat in the beautiful sunshine (did I say I was alone and all was quiet??!!) and tuned inward, setting the intention to receive.  I immediately felt this “sucking” energy all around me and heard/felt “bleeding dry”.  The message came through very strong, which surprised me as I was not “expecting” anything so powerful and so quickly.

Bleeding dry can be described as taking other’s money using deceptive practices.

Well well now…. interestingly enough I just read through Ben Fulford’s update.  Here is a portion of what he said is currently going on (financially):

“An interesting sign of the Khazarians’ desperation was the spectacle of George Bush Senior posing with four other former presidents (minus Donald Trump) of the United States Corporation as part of a “beg-athon.”

First, we must note that with computer graphics and body doubles it is hard to know if this event really took place.  For example, multiple sources have told this writer that Bill Clinton (Rockefeller) died of AIDS early this year.

Nonetheless, assuming this event did really take place, this is what a senior CIA source in Texas had to say about it:

“The “beg-athon” in Texas is pure BS.  Notice that the money goes through the George H.W. Bush (Scherf) Foundation.  They are scamming money any way they can get it.  The Khazarian mafia cabal must be really desperate.”

My analysis given what I have been following?  These fuckers are trying to make some last minute money grabs (using deceit) as they are being locked out of the very systems they put in place.

Bleeding dry, indeed!

Just thought all of this was interesting and made me realize I DO have the ability to tune in and feel/see/know.  We all do!

I’m keepin’ on rockin’ on…



Gracias por tu donación. mucho amor y gratitud.  (i decided to get creative)


10/22/17 Energy Update: “Growing Pains”


Wormhole, Time Travel, Portal, Vortex

I just had the thought that there needs to be a website for all Ascension-type folks to go to to share their personal experiences.  Sometimes when I go to someone’s site and they share their current experiences/symptoms, I find I either relate or can’t relate at all.  Or there is the occasion where I where read of someone speaking in very technical terms, highly tuned-in to the exact energies incoming and the exact symptoms they induce.

How do they know these things?

All I can do is share my own experiences so I hope any of you reading this, if you can’t relate to my experience don’t think “wow, am I doing it wrong?  Am I missing something?”  I say that because until this year, I would hold the same thought.

So without further ado, here is what I am going through in the past 24 hours…

Going to sleep last night I felt this growing tight ball inside of me, in great need of expanding.  I stretched the parts of my body where I felt this energy ~ trying to make room.  As I did this, I felt my cells vibrating.  This stretching/expanding/cells vibing experience continued until I fell asleep.

I awoke early this morning, thinking about the experience I had had before going to sleep.  I felt my Highest Self guide me into letting go, allowing this process for She is who is in “control” of this process.  She has already made the choice to do this experience.  Let go and trust, I felt. I also heard (again) all parts of Who I am are returning as One in this body.

I again felt that energy needing to expand so I stretched for a bit then drifted off to sleep.

Then had a uh, “experience”.

Out in front of our house there is something special energetically.  I have had numerous experiences (waking visions and sleeping dreams) where I have “seen” a portal, an energy vortex.  I have seen the physical environment change.  I have seen people suddenly begin to fade away.  I have been able to transport myself out of this realm and into the realm of my choice (did that one in a waking vision/meditation).  And early this morning, I witnessed a first:  a friend of mine from the past suddenly “popped” through it ~ seemingly coming out of nowhere.  He looked very bewildered and it surprised my human self but my Soul was expecting the experience (or else just going with the flow and allowing it to happen).  He was lying in the street and He started to get up, then got noticeably dizzy so I walked over and said “go slow you’ve just passed through a portal” then I helped him up.  He seemed to be totally surrendering to me in his trust although his confusion and bewilderment remained so I decided to change the scene and put me back to a place I once worked when I knew him as a teenager.  He sat in the background, watching me, still looking confused but nonetheless trusting me.  I said I would be with him “soon”. Then the dream ended.

The dream wasn’t so significant (to me) as was the fact that I had another “far out” experience in that area near our house.

Waking up, I felt called to stretch more.  I was again having that desire to expand my body to “make room” for what is within wanting/needing more physical “room”.  This time I could see and feel my feet wanted to expand as did my chest.

After a couple of minutes of stretching, I walked out into the kitchen and started putting away dishes from the dish rack.  I grabbed some fruit bowls I used last night and as I reached up to the top shelf, I noticed I didn’t have to stretch like I normally do.  The night before when I got them down, I chose to stand on a chair to reach them comfortably as stretching for them had me concerned I may drop them.  This morning, I was able to just put them away with a little bit of a stretch.  At first I thought I was standing on our floor mat, but nope, I was on the floor.  Slippers?  Nope.  (Yes I had to look on both counts.  I am not a morning person so it takes me awhile to become fully aware/awake.

I called over my mate.  When both of us are in our stocking feet I can fit under his chin pretty comfortably.  Today?  Nope.  He had to bend his head back more than normal and it was too uncomfortable for him.

Did I actually physically grow?  Who knows.  I decided to just let it be.

When I shared my dream with my mate he said “that’s it!  You HAVE to show me exactly where this spot is and we will mark it!”  Ok then we can do that.  I remember before we moved to this street, I made my mate drive up and down it frequently.  Something in me said I HAD to live on this street.  When we weren’t finding anything available, I remember saying “Universe ~ WHY aren’t we finding a home to live in on this street?”  I didn’t get it.  I let it go.

6 months later, it worked out.

So what else am I feeling today?  Oh yes…I am feeling achy ~ all over.  “Growing pains” as I am calling it.  The strong desire to expand and stretch continues.  That ball of energy within simply needs more room (much like this house has been feeling too small lately).  I used to think the moments of intensity I feel were about my ego.  Nope.  My energy itself is what is intense…. and vibrant.  It takes me back to the first time someone read my energy on a whim.  I wasn’t sure what it meant but something within me was fascinated and very open to the concept.  She was a gypsy-type – someone my mother worked with – and I loved being around her.  She said I had one of the biggest brightest energy fields she had ever seen on a person.  I was only 20 at the time but those words have stayed with me ever since.

So back to the achy all over thing.  Also very tired, wanting desperately to just be alone so I can focus on what I want… and interestingly enough, I am also highly intolerant of noise, interruption and downright ignorant stupid behavior.  Not that I enjoy any of such things but my tolerance for these things just isn’t happening.

So for now I am off to take a much needed nap.  I hope this piece makes sense.  I feel I am in another zone, another reality typing this one.  The line “ET Phone Home” is what I am hearing as I end this so I will leave it at that.

Much love,



I love your support.  I appreciate your support.  I validate your support. And I need your support.  (how’s that for a new phrase?  that is what i feel in my heart like typing on this sunday afternoon.)


Today’s Thoughts


The energies of today felt strange.  I felt like I was in and out of two different timelines.  All day long.

Interesting dreams.  John Denver popped in or shall I say I popped into his experience.  I recall thinking “this is how powerful I am ~ I can go wherever I want and choose whatever form I want”.

Many distractions that I allowed to pull me out of what I really wanted to do.  The piano sits unplayed.

Tomorrow is another day to answer her call.

I received a beautiful hand-made bracelet from one of you.  That was the highlight of my day!  I love personal mail and even more when it is a handmade gift.  It reminded me of the connections I have with many of you.  Sometimes I carry those energies with me when I’m feeling unsure or other fear-based emotions.  Now I have a little trinket to add to the inner experience.

My mate noticed HAARP clouds to the south of us ~ which aligns with signals coming into the west coast, showing up on the mimic array.  No worries or concerns though.

Neighbor received his flu shot.  Ugh!  Last year he received it, he was sick for Halloween.  He is older and has no memory of that.  We have tried all we can to pull him out of the left side of the box ~ to let him see Truth is found outside of the box and to see the box for the giant illusion that it is.

But he is one who says “it can’t ALL be a lie”.

Sad.  That’s what makes it an easy sell.

Oh well.  In the meantime I make him homemade applesauce.

I did receive confirmation I will be receiving training soon in the Reiki of the Divine Feminine ~ MariEl.  I have already begun practicing what I naturally do.  Last night I removed my child’s headache and reduced inflammation in my sinuses.  I feel I am taking a new road with this. Healer is indeed an experience I have wanted to share for over 15 years ~ probably more than all of my other gifts.

For now, I am off to couch manifest (in bed).

Much love, magic and quiet moments of contentment…



What Happens To Your Brain When You Watch TV Programming


Person, Human, Girl, Child, Eyes, Face

Two years ago I gave up watching tv programming, which includes commercials.  All of it.  We allow our child to watch some PBS shows. Other than that, when the television is on, we have it on the soundscape channel which plays a variety of soulful music.

Tonight we all watched the Charlie Brown Halloween special.  Given it has been so long since I have watched mainstream television, including the commercials, I can say my experience left me feeling incredulous if not a bit horrified.

I used to watch the commercial’s?  Without any reaction?

Unbelievable.  lol

I watched a commercial showing a husband climbing on top of a trampoline then on top of a yard waste container to replace a piece of drain pipe while the wife stood inside and said something to some machine that in turn operated her dryer.  AI.  So first scene was one of absolute idiocy and the second scene shows an AI doing the “right” thing. Message:  Humans are stupid.  AI is good.

Another commercial showed some new phone ~ lots of lights, noise, total stimulation.  Message:  Lots of lights, noise, total stimulation is gooooood for you.

I even viewed Charlie Brown differently.  Lucy reminds me of some of the kids in my neighborhood ~ bullies.  Charlie Brown and his “all I got was a rock” sadness.  Message:  Bullies are part of life.  The weird (bald) kids who are the most awkward have the worst luck.

Then there were the commercials for television programs still on.  The Middle?  Modern Family?  Seriously ~ these shows are still on??  Aren’t these people like 100 years old by now?  lol  Anyway ~ watching these little tidbits of upcoming shows ~ shows that once made me laugh ~ had me staring, appalled.

I once found this stuff entertaining?  Funny?

I once was able to energetically take in these messages and energies?

Seriously ~ if I were visiting this planet for the first time and had watched tonight’s programming I would be looking much like the little girl in the picture above.


Zero resonance.  Absolutely none.  Whew for that!

Mouth dropped.  Having been a mainstream commercial/tv virgin for as long as I have, after just 30 minutes of this engagement, I feel the need to purify myself.

I am reminded of a movie I watched years ago of a family who had lived off-grid completely including no television exposure who then came into town years later to visit family whereby the kids were exposed to tv programming and video games and their looks were one of absolute horror.  It was comical, sad and so telling all at once.

As I tell my neighbor, who has on CNN or MSNBC on almost all day long, “they call it tv programs for a reason ~ it literally programs your brain.”  Usually I add “I love you…now turn off that damn thing!”

Tonight I saw how unplugging really allows for one to SEE just how real and powerful this programming is ~ and how mind-numbing/soul detaching.

I love you all ~ now turn off that damn thing!  


Feeling The Experience of Freedom


As I progress, as I purge, as I remember – Remember – I become more in tune with the frequencies of Freedom.

I remember hearing David Icke’s definition of Freedom about 15 years ago. It resonated so strongly with me ~ awoke something within me.  The Goddess.  The Source.  The Lioness.  The Warrior.  His words have remained with me ever since.

“Freedom is the right to live as one pleases and chooses in so long as that choice does not interfere with another’s right to the same freedom.”

Today I may have less words and perhaps different words, but that doesn’t matter.  The explanation.  The definition.  For me it is a feeling.  An energy.  A feeling energy of experience.  I know what Freedom feels like.

And I know that is why I (and so many of us) are here.  To see a return to our State of Freedom.  Certainly it is why I am here.

Back when I first heard David’s definition, there was a lot of static in my head.  A lot of questions.  Stories.  I see it as an exploration through my doubts.

Today when I awoke, I felt the experience of Freedom.  And I knew – the static has been cleared.

A growing inner “roar” has manifested within me when I read things like “we have to know hate to know love” or “we agreed to that” (fill in the blank traumatizing experience). Karmic contracts.  Reincarnation. Lessons.

ALL of these violate inherent Freedom.

Unless of course once chooses to go that route.  You will of course continue the reincarnation cycle as was artificially created (die, return, mind erase, endless searching to “remember” so you can “get it right”).

Who wants that?

Well, maybe some of you do.  And I would never think to apply force to have that experience.  I honor the Freedom in All.

I am ending this experience for me.  And at the same time, because I so long to see all of us truly Free, I will now speak out, passionately at times, when I see (what I feel are) people still locked into old programming that was NOT Source created but instead was someone else’s definition for our way of Being.

It isn’t necessarily the experiences I have an issue with.  It is the “this is the way it is and you have to go along with it” freedom-destroying energy program.

Source requires NOTHING of us.  Just Be.  Create.  Experience.  Freely.

Allow others the same experience.

Creating and experiencing as we go.

I for one am ready to return to my Original State of Pure Freedom Being.