At the store tonight, the clerk rang up my total and gave me the “sorry” look. She told me she always feels like apologizing these days when she rings up just a couple of bags of groceries and says, “That will be $179”. I told her she was not the one needing to apologize.
Something has to give. Shift. Break. Because this financial b.s. is breaking far too many minds these days. Enough. Is. Enough. And I will say that until I no longer need to.
I took some assessment tests last night – an agency that works with “older” people seeking employment. I was given puzzles and games, including memorization games, which I used to excel in. Today with the ongoing stress of life coupled with too much abuse that I have only recently fully accepted and seen has caused to my executive/cognitive functioning, well I struggled with some of the tests. I hope I hear back. And to that experience, I say the same: Enough is enough. For now, my inbox most days is sending me messages saying, “Thank you, but unfortunately”. Who is actually getting hired now? For now, I have about 25 jobs that I am applying for later this evening. For now, the finds. Drumroll: there are a couple of very interesting things that miiiiiiiiiiiight just indicate we are about to leap over that cliff.
💖 Victoria
******
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https://twitter.com/nina_leone11/status/2113352366649172391
11:22 Time Stamp EST:
“BLACK OCTOBER”
New York City to ban horse-drawn carriages in 2028
New York City horse-drawn carriages will be riding into the sunset in less than two years after city leaders voted Thursday to ban the practice following the death of an 18-year-old tourist who was killed during a ride in Central Park over the summer.
The City Council voted 40 to 7 with two abstentions on Romanch’s Law, which would prohibit the issuance of new licenses used in the operation of horse-drawn cabs and phase out the carriages by June 1, 2028. The horses would be prohibited from being sold to slaughterhouses, under the bill.
The markets took a deep dive today:
My feeeeeeels tonight:
Victoria, Certified Pattern Recognition Specialist
@nina_leone11
Jesus how I want to enjoy life again.
Dance.
Celebrate.
Party.
Connect with others.
Travel.
And mostly: BE MYSELF AGAIN.
Fully healed.
ME before the trauma.
ME before the abuse.
I have had a shit ton of trauma throughout this experience.
And it has changed me.
Made leaving my home an overstimulating nightmare at times (nervous system has its own “mind”).
Someone who has sensed, smelled and seen the invisible enemy since I was a child.
Targeted ever since.
If you get it – you get it.
I hope most of you reading this do not “get it”.
This is no way to live.
It’s the price I’ve paid for being a Bright Light of Truth.
Empathic.
Sensitive.
Deeply compassionate and feeling.
And a rebel, ball-busting system destroyer.
That is me.
Me under the trauma crap embedded inside my nervous system.
Like a program.
Those programs stick here.
Some days it’s a fucking battle within.
👉The REAL ME says: “GET UP AND GET GOING, YOU GOT THIS GIRL”
👉The trauma voice says: “NO HIDE, GO BACK TO BED I AM SCARED, I HATE IT HERE”.
Truth in both, tbh.
Why am I sharing this?
Who the hell knows.
Maybe it will help someone.
VENMO: @VT6610
ZELLE: themamatrinity@gmail.com
CASHAPP: $Victoria1144
