Making my batch of pancakes, in a quiet space, allows me to tune in and feeeeeeel.
And reflect.
I once read that our emotions are the language of our Soul. Loved that phrase ever since.
The image above is soooooooooo Me.
Always has been.
While sometimes emotions from others overwhelm me – overall – I want to see real. Authentic.
Tonight I was feeling into trauma. I’ve been having several “putting in my face” moments the past few days – showing me what my issues/trauma’s are. I don’t need to see them. I already know. And in fact can talk about them with anyone – openly. I used to run from those “bleeding wounds” – but not today.
So I thought about what a lot of new age-type philosophies will say: These trauma’s are being presented to you by the Universe to clear.
Oh really?
The Universe, you say?
Or the matrix trying to poke – induce more trauma to loosh ya. Or just to poke for fun – because that’s what evil does.
Let’s really examine this from a perspective of Love.
Wouldn’t Love not only help you bring up the trauma – but show you how to heal it? Quickly AND easily? Guide you within to get that deep Truth that says “oh yes, I remember how to do this!”
Do we get that here?
Hell no.
We get poked. We get presented with moments that bring up trauma. But we get no guidance on how to TRULY heal it – certainly not permanently.
How many of us have talked the past 2-3 years about how we are getting stuff coming up and purging it out. Over and over again.
Think we would all be pretty clear vessels by now, right?
And yet I know of NO ONE in my circle of people who is fully healed of their trauma’s.
Not a one.
So tonight as I was getting poked in the face of “see? see this girl? see this trauma?” and yet NOTHING came to me in terms of how to actually heal them – I thought “F” this. (And these are trauma’s I’ve faced – gone within – cleared out that energy – blah blah la de f’ing blah.)
And guess what?
It all comes back.
I think I was spot on when several months ago I began talking about how trauma energy sticks to us here. That program. Trauma goes in quickly. Why doesn’t it exit these vessels just as quickly – especially when we fully intend it to?
Hmmm….
So yeah – keep at it in intending that trauma program DIE. Self destruct. Leave our experience as Free BEing’s. Delete that f’er.
But I no longer expect full healing while I am still in this energetic prison with the invisible enemy. I am not putting that pressure on myself anymore – as though my inability to heal in the way I want is due to some defect of my own. Nope. Evil does not allow its hostages to be fully – permanently -healed – only those who sell out get that privilege.
And I ain’t selling out.
But I do know at some point I WILL be healed. Very soon.
And that is what keeps me going. Never take my resting – my depression – my apathy – my angst – my screaming I AM DONE as a sign of defeat. For I NEVER give up – no matter how “down” I get.
Love,
