Felt like a waste of time.  Felt like most everything I heard – I’ve heard before.  I would have had better use of my time sitting outside in the cold watching the fake sky.

Felt like pouring salt on a wound.

Also felt like waving another carrot.

“Soon.”

“We WILL make America” fall in the blah blah blank same phrase we have been hearing for over 4 f’ing years.

Pouring salt on the wound – describing sanctuary cities – how they’ve gone to “shit” – when I live in one and we have been trying to GET OUT for the past year but finding a nice home to rent that we can afford is proving to be – well impossible thus far.  Where is the help for those of us who are in one of these pits and who want out?  Hmm?  Where is that part of the “plan”?

Pouring more salt – describing how the children have suffered so much – had their lives robbed.  Yeah – tell me something I don’t know.  My beautiful girl’s spirit has changed in the last 2 years.  Her attitude has become much more hardened making it difficult to parent/guide her – more than it was in the past.  She has HAD IT.  Again – her mama and pops have been doing all we f’ing can to give her something better and new – different.  Again – rub it in T.  Rub it f’ing in how hard it has been while you continue to….

…..dangle that f’ing carrot about “SOON” and how we need to “get out and vote in the mid terms” but then next breath talk about the 2020 rigged election.

We coming or we going?

Optics can go stick it.

Unless someone has a place in which we can live and can afford and can help us get there (so I can save my sanity and my girl’s childhood and her development) I NO LONGER WANT TO HEAR IT.

V.

Interesting note:  The image I used – the file name’s last 3 numbers were 444………..

Recent schumann “missing data” – missing “time” is what I sense – collapsing those false rinse/repeat time loops created by “them”………In other words, I feel as we collapse we also jump.  

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Well, my girl had a JFK jr. dream.  She was quite annoyed with that – it was her first – and she said it probably happened to her because I have essentially told him/the plan to p-off (until I SEEEEE).  lol  Anyway, she was inside of an old fashioned trailer – tiffany blue – with cake decoration type on the wall.  He had on a tux – red tie – he smiled at my girl and said “I’ll be revealed soon.”  The experience ended.  So take it for what it is until there’s physical proof.  That’s what I’m doing.

I had a dream I was inside of a large vehicle – Humvee type.  I was the passenger.  I looked over to see who was driving – it looks like some super hero type dude.  Ungodly huge upper arm muscles – short brown hair – very straight I recall – long pointy  noise (I am describing his profile).  He was trying to maintain control of the vehicle – doing a good job overall.  Felt he was there to get us both to safety.  The territory was unknown/unfamiliar – large rugged mountains that lead to a valley with a river running between them.  I felt we just had a little ways to go before we were out/safe.  Then the experience ended.

I woke up hearing Runaway Train – always a song I have loved.  One line in particular is absolutely valid:  Somehow I’m neither here nor there.  Runaway train never coming back.………The desire to just pack up and GO is so strong with me now.

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Emotionally – I am going between numb to crying to calm.  Mate said he cried at least half a dozen times yesterday.  Ditto that.  As we were falling asleep, we were talking quietly – and suddenly I began to cry.  Usually he will comfort me but he was so tired and when I paused, I heard him lightly snoring.  lol  No matter – when I get into this space I tend to want to be alone with it to clear it.

I haven’t checked what’s going on “out there”.  Feels like a chaos off in the distance.  The sun is out……..

Love,

V.

At this moment I am grateful (if you can call it that – perhaps relieved is a better word) for the task of folding laundry.  Mundane – but it gets my mind quiet – at least focused on something other than what’s going on “out there”.

And today – my mind is being seriously intensely pushed to bust up into a billion different pieces.  I’ve spoken with several of you and again, it’s collective.

Aren’t we tired of hearing that?  Gawd knows I am flipping worn down from saying it/typing those words.  It’s collective…..Makes me do this:

I tuned in – in a moment of quiet and calm – and felt “they” are seriously pushing the doubt program.  Doubting our hearts.  Our intuition.  Our senses.  Doubting our ENTIRE experience of awakening.  I continue to know that anything deceptive that misleads any of us regardless of our age or gender or level of awakening holds the onus of responsibility for that doing.  All we can do is – well, I don’t know at this point, do you?  Regroup.  Recenter.

Even THAT feels like groundhog day.

I don’t need to just take a step back and regroup.  I need a f’ing NEW EXPERIENCE in which to DO that and have it manifest into something that I desire.  I create.  I CONTROL.  Control is ONLY an illusion in an experience of enslavement and deception and INVISIBLE controls.  We are being pushed to the absolute brink and all I know to DO is take care of my body.  Sleep.  A lot.  When I can.  Move the energy.  Dance.  Jump up and down.  Punch pillows.  Throw eggs (like Denise says though throw ’em at people and not on the floor as I suggested because well, you know……….lol)

Gotta have humor to keep the mind SANE in these moments.

So…………..I remain trusting in only WHAT I WANT.  What is right for me.  And honestly what is right for me is right for all – which is Freedom.  You do you.  I do me.  You choose what YOU choose and I choose what I choose.  And in that energy space we support one another the entire process.

Right now I am feeling a TON of distraction.  The 355 movie.  The russian rocket (which allegedly splashed down “somewhere in the pacific”).  And I just heard – another rocket – Lemur-2-djara – also came down today – landing in the southern Indian Ocean (where the “f” was the coverage of that one??).  T making a big feather ruffling over first doing a presser tomorrow then cancelling yesterday.  What is good?  What is evil?  I don’t know.  How can we?  If this truly is The Art of War type of psych/physical war, it’s largely deception on both sides.  Question remains:  Are either side working for us and Freedom?  Or is just another “came coin different side” that we’ve been living under for eons?

I.  Don’t.  Know.  I go by what I sense – what I intuit – and I use logic as well.  I also go by what I see and hear.  I have seeeeeen increase in military in our skies – in our area – beginning in 2018 – and a big increase in the past 6-10 months.  We have heard military fire – fire AND return fire – that one occurrence with no police sirens following.  And we have heard loud explosions/BOOMS coming from the Pacific when “earthquakes” were registering.  So something’s afoot and has been for a few years.  NO ONE can deny that.

So…………….I have no useful advice now.  No real truth to share other than what I have here.  The end result – how much of this are you and I creating with our own inner energies?  Is our awakening having an impact in creating that desired result of Freedom we all seek?

Again – that remains to be seen.

But I will say this….

If evil wanted to put us under a spell to make us think THIS time we’re actually getting benevolent/truthful help in removing them altogether – why would this awakening been allowed to happen?  And why is there so much resistance in our push for our Freedom?

Just something I ponder these days – in an attempt to keep my mind focused and in tact.

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Love to you all….

Victoria

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