something was making me hot today and it wasn’t the sun. Â yes it was warm – but i noticed this inside the house. Â i touched my back and noticed my tank top was damp. Â sweat.
my mate – same experience.
cellular happenings perhaps. Â i was also unbelievably exhausted and even with a nap could not muster up the energy to take my daughter on a bike ride so while she went with a group of friends and parents, i went to the store, picked up some cupcakes and my mate and i enjoyed them together.
other than that, i spent some moments reflecting on what to read – who to follow – questioning a lot – in particular how much longer will i allow myself to hold out for those things i see/desire/read about etc. etc.. Â feeling i am reaching a space of letting it all go and taking my experience here in a different direction. Â i long for new and that longing for new has not subsided but only increased over many months. Â something big is absolutely happening – and yet i am feeling fatigue from speculating and going within in search of answers of the myriad of unanswered questions i have…only to either feel silence or hear:
allow rest be.
3 words i keep hearing.
that and “in between”……..
in between what?
ah another question.
which i am just going to let be and walk away, whistling…. doot doot doot do do do do.
if someone else is up to speculating, feel free to do so. Â lol
this seems to be “in the air” as i have read others having similar inner experiences. Â today – i am experiencing the sense of loss, loneliness, disappointment, sadness and yet there is a calm acceptance inter-mixed with all of the heaviness. Â my desire is to go into it and feel it – which is what i am doing. Â i am quiet. Â in seclusion as well. Â as one woman succinctly put it – she was “in hiding licking her wounds”……..
exactly.
i don’t know what is “truth” now…….i can feel and desire and wish to create/see all i want – but in terms of something bigger happening “behind the scenes” – none of us know. Â just a few. Â and they aren’t showing us anything solid yet. Â just speculation. Â which i am not able to do energetically now.
today i played the piano. Â quiet pieces. Â i finished with “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” (done in my own style)………..i leave you with the original recording……today that song just…fits.
i thought i would share how i experience this world – not just as me but as a highly sensitive being.
to begin i have likely pushed aside this part of me for too long. Â i have known of my sensitivities for 20 years. Â i remember taking a quiz in the book “The Highly Sensitive Person” and answering “yes” to every question that helped you determine if you were highly sensitive. Â what a relief – i had a label – something to understand. Â and to know i wasn’t alone. Â however – i haven’t done as “good” of a job taking care of myself in this regard. Â i either push myself too much – or simply hide from the world.
i pause as i type those words. Â i know i need balance -a keyword i once read people with my numerology often struggle to achieve.
sometimes i feel diving down all of these rabbit holes in my quest for truth has actually caused me some harm – more trauma – more overwhelm than my brain can take in. Â even though i’m quite good at “sucking it up” and doing when i need to – that still doesn’t negate the fact that while i’m engaged in this behavior, a piece of my brain is suffering. Â and i also know that today – i’m not as adept at this as i once was. Â age. Â hormonal changes.and just general life fatigue caused by far too much chronic stress.
as i have shared here in recent days – sharing all of the chaos – the headlines going on now – just getting to be too much for me most days. Â not all – but most.
being highly sensitive means i need a lot of time alone.
it means that when i am with a group of people and while others are talking loudly or engaged in long conversations, i am the one who will stop and notice the sky and be far more interested in that.
it means sudden, loud noises can put me into a tailspin. Â if i am well rested, i can process. Â if i am tired or otherwise not up to par, that loud noise can bring out the desire to scream.
same for hearing yelling…..or incessant whining……..being exposed to bright lights or loud music (that i have not turned on or selected)…….one of our local box stores has one wall along all of the checkout lines lined with televisions. Â always on. Â annoys the F out of me. Â most of the time i can block it out – but there are times when i literally have to shield my eyes.
and the most difficult for me – the visual stimulation of traffic. Â lots of it – coming and going – honking – and being stuck in it. Â that can push me over the edge even on my best days now.
for me it also means struggling with impatience….never understanding why the wait for what i feel is rightfully mine….and yours….i have said more than once my awakening has been amazing and deeply frustrating at the same time….i often say “ok i’m awake and awakening – NOW WHAT?” Â what do i DO with this knowledge? Â i haven’t figured out how to take it and GO where i see and feel.
for me being highly sensitive also means a strong disdain for things like conflict and unasked for advice (BIG ONE)………and not being heard.
what does help soothe me?
QUIET.
as mentioned above – time alone.
playing music.
riding my bike – especially in the evening when the wind is blowing and the air is cool. Â fast. Â up the hills and down the hills. Â stopping to take pictures along the way. Â (i embarrassed my daughter recently when, while riding one evening and it was quite windy, i began singing “ride like the wind” – christopher cross – loudly – as we rode.)
yoga.
staying up late listening to music – tuning out with ear buds. Â (doing that now as i type this) Â i know the “advice” is go to bed early blah blah – but for me – for my entire life here – i have loved the evening hours. Â all is quiet. Â the masses are sleeping. Â and i have the energy space all to my own. Â as i used to say when i was much younger – that’s the time i most feel the Universe and have it all to myself. Â : )
journaling…….writing……..beading………crafts of all types……
walks alone……..
sky gazing………
being highly sensitive means one small word of kindness sent my way – especially unexpectedly – brings out the intense feeling of gratitude. Â or an offer of help – without strings.
or knowing i have really been heard.
for me – love – love in action – from myself that i give to myself and receive from others – is my manna.
another day where i don’t have the energetic ability/desire to post what i am seeing. Â more is getting exposed and i see the importance of it – but what is coming out now is just, well it needs a new category.
maybe the Q drop that “the ending will not be for everyone” describes those of us with a quick ticket Home at the transition event.
i continue to see insults and poking going on between both “sides” of the political/social spectrum. Â it was stated on twitter that a particular big name person was having lunch with JoeM today and this individual reassured followers JoeM was indeed not JFK Jr – then followed up the comment with a line of laughing emoticon’s. Â the comments that followed with the text were as demeaning. Â so much for exploring the Truth – especially when everything has been one giant deception.
absolutely unnecessary to do this. Â this creates division. Â i am quite fed up/done with these “big name account creators” with massive followers pulling this garbage – and the people continue to follow along. Â done with the religious speak too. Â all that was put here to keep us divided – and so many continue to keep it going. gives some truth to my feeling that many of these people are just more cia/coven plants to keep up the “war games.”
so……….as i say……..today i am most especially feeling the “I am not of this world” – i’m just in it. Â doing the best i can. Â when i am not napping (which i did a fair bit of today – wow was i tired and bits of me focused “elsewhere”).
the clinton’s……….the obama’s……..the cheney’s and the bushes and prince andrew and all of those big league players are still. Â walking. Â free.
and in my city – armed drug dealers and addicts and thief’s are engaging in their behaviors – now out in public for all to see (no joke – happened today) – and IF they get arrested they get released. Â most however never see arrest. Â and even more than that, even after arrested, have their charges dropped because we have one of those corrupt DA’s.
ANTIFA and the like continue their violence.
thugs. Â criminals. Â parasitic filth. Â walking freely.
and yet people like Heather Ann Tucci Jarraf and Randall K Beane – who sacrificed themselves to SHOW US THE ENSLAVEMENT AND THEFT that has been put upon the people – they still sit in their respective jail cells.
W. T. A. F. is going on now.
WHY IS THIS NONSENSE CONTINUING?
i want to know: Â WHERE ARE THE ARRESTS?
WHY HAVE THEY NOT HAPPENED YET?
Trump campaigned on “LOCK HER UP”…….
3 years later……1 year away from the next election…….
and the only arrests have been lower end criminals……
while the bigger players continue to use their money they stole from we the people to travel and buy homes and live better than most while people in my community and in others continue to have no place to sleep other than a park bench or a tent.
tonight – none of this sits well with me. Â i find no inner peace with it. Â while i have deep gratitude for my own security and safety and for what i do have – i feel an even deeper sense of sadness for those who need relief yesterday and aren’t getting it along with a seething anger at seeing the coven actors continue to walk among us.
what do we tell our children? Â the world is fair and supportive? Â that is a lie. Â if you are willing to sell your soul here you can find a way to do well. Â but if you are one who sees the dark spades and calls them out for what they are without politically or spiritually correct sugar coating, you had best know how to remain true to yourself and find your ability to warrior your way through this show.
for as i read today – i did not become a conspiracy theorist. Â i simply woke up to a nightmare.
time to wrap up this horror show and bring back Love and Freedom.
have any of you been feeling hot inside? Â even though it is summer here in the northern hemisphere, it has been quite cool overall. Â both my mate and myself have been commenting how warm we have felt inside. Â at times downright hot! Â suddenly it will feel as though the temperature is 95 outside – when it’s in the 70’s. Â this has become a more recent experience……….sooooooo…….i shared this w/one of you earlier – how the fires in the amazon (and africa – which are far more vast) – are somehow connected to our own inner detachment and release from this experience…..our purging……our removal of all of our old “stuff” that isn’t authentic Us………
i think it was lisa harrison that spoke of burning off of old programs……..is this also a literal event as in removing the inauthentic pieces of us requires heat?
i’m sensing there is a connection between the global fire condition and the purging we are experiencing……..i continue to see some really strange experiences in people……and some “glitches” in the program here….and i have completely forgotten what i saw….i spent an hour and a half doing some organizing of toys in my girls’ room and it completely zapped away my cognitive functioning for now in terms of memory recall…….ever experience something like that (cleaning a child’s room)? Â it is an experience you will never forget! Â lol
i woke up this morning thinking about dreams – in particular mine and my daughter’s. Â i have been bothered lately when telling myself i control my dream experience. Â and yet – do we really? Â to what degree?
after i got up i saw a post that spoke of the “demons” of the astral realm – the controller’s – and (obviously) how they interfere with our dreams to “steal” our energy (and this is ending – they are losing that power). Â i’ve had that thought countless times and yet today it sank in.
if they created this realm/experience – they ensured they controlled every facet of it – including our “dreamstate”.
so i am done telling my daughter her dreams are completely her creation – especially after she has told us often how she DOES fight back and DOES get herself out of her dreams when she can. Â we have not had complete control of our experience here and the astral experience is no different. Â just as we would not attack ourselves with toxic verbal thoughts while in our “awake” state – we certainly wouldn’t do it while sleeping. Â and THAT is what the controller’s have wanted us to beLIEve – that our dreams are solely our creation.
this is not to create fear or dis-empower – it is to share knowledge and be honest about it. Â for when we take those new steps into full awakening – it does empower us.
so earlier during breakfast, all three of us were talking about what’s going on and what we feel/see coming. Â our girl pointed out the movie – close encounters – and asked us to remember the sand scene in the desert which was blowing wildly following the arrival of the craft. Â we were discussing the blowing sands from africa. Â AAAAND some time early this morning – before i fully woke up – i began hearing toto’s “Africa” after several months of not hearing it in my mind. Â i had been hearing it earlier this year then it disappeared. Â makes me wonder if the weather wildness – at least perhaps the blowing sands coming from africa – are due to – how do i say this – our getting in final alignment for our exit out? Â i don’t know – just found this all – interesting. Â something to make me do one of those “hmmm” looks/feels.
my mate then began to speak. Â i recorded him so i’ll just quote it:
We know that there’s a stargate ship. Â this is all about magnetics. Â we know that we’re in a honeypot. Â we’re in a trap. Â as the theory goes there’s a black hole with a small contained universe underneath which is on one side of the whole. Â it has an event horizon around it. Â we call it the sun. Â it’s really the entrance and exit out of the black hole. Â the stargate ship is going around because this is a magnetic bubble and we’re magnetic ourselves inside that bubble. Â for the ship to extract us perfectly it has to align precisely at a certain point between us and the sun to exit. Â only the stargate ship can go through the portal because we couldn’t survive on our own going through the portal. Â it’s blocked out the sun the last 2-3 days. Â so it’s going around it’s blocking out the sun routinely. Â it’s going to align any minute in the perfect spot. Â when it does it can extract us out of the magnetic bubble – because we’re magnetic too – we’ll be on the ship the ship goes through the sun out the portal the universe is shut off and all evil dies in this little bubble left behind.
i asked “where do we go once we get out?”
and he responded: Â “we go back to the Real Universe.”
there ya go. Â sounds good to me.
we have seen proof/images of that Stargate.  i linked it here previously this year here.  BlueKoolaid  was one of a few channels (we observe) who captured it – i recall MrMBB333 as well. so the theory above is absolutely possible – if not probable.  the “flash” is us exiting out the sun and when we get “Home” we fully wake up in our Real Selves – as we Remember and see the All.
as i ran an errand this afternoon i was feeling a combination of fluster and frustration. Â i tuned in – reminded myself this is not how Who I Am. i recentered – tuned into my Heart. Â did some other self-talk and as i did i felt “you are so close to coming Home.” Â as i felt that flow through me a wish flew into the car – around my space – then flew back out.
it is hard being who we really are here – especially considering just a portion of US is here. Â but i do feel us at Home is tuned in – or perhaps we here are more awake and thus tuned in THERE. Â whatever it is – however this is happening – we can do this. Â Home has our backs.
i was going to leave you with current electron proton reads – which are intense and chaotic – but wordpress is giving me an error warning w/each one so i’ll just leave the link to the site.  and as i reflect upon this – who trusts nasa images?  i don’t and yet i use them as do others who also don’t trust nasa.  lol  perhaps it’s time to just stop utilizing that and go by how we feel.  and how i feel is whatever is incoming is powerful and serving a divine purpose in getting us the frig out.
love,
victoria
update: Â just saw where sophia and the cats both were recently deceived during meditation/channeling. Â as rose says – Home doesn’t communicate via channeling. Â not sure i agree w/that 100% but i do feel that the entire Universe was hijacked and compromised and hence ANY info coming in whether via channeling or even through the heart space needs to be questioned. Â we are all vulnerable to deception in this current energy space. Â i would like to see more spiritual “oomph” kick in and those who channel and share start questioning these messages. Â not to be antagonistic but to deepen the validity of them. Â my red flag awhile back was when i would receive silence or be told i wasn’t ready to know that yet or blah blah blah. Â i continue to see predictions and promises be given only to continue to wait to see them fulfilled and those doing the channeling let it all go. Â i don’t get that. Â who would allow a friend to play such a game? Â being true to one’s word is part of that umbrella of Love. Â stuff happens i realize – but to allow oneself to be treated as less-than does not help our search for Truth.
below is the image i sketched from the vision i had this morning as i was in a light sleep. Â i wasn’t thinking of anything in particular other than sleep so it surprised me that this came through. Â it was very vivid too.
you can see the first image shows a bunch of perfectly defined (well in my image that is) circles within a box/cube. Â there was no movement and nothing touched. Â all was separate.
then it morphed into the vision below – a bunch of sparkles that i feel were the transformation of the circles – onto one line. Â all began to move in a counter clockwise motion.
my translation: Â the end of separation and the switch into One Original Experience again – each of us unique in our own creations – coming alive/online again (hence the sparkles). Â and as important: Â MOVEMENT ONCE AGAIN after stagnation for soooooooooo long.
today felt like a “nothing burger” in terms of news and movement. Â but there were some interesting sky captures including one “cloud formation” in particular. Â who knows what it really is – never seen “clouds” form like this. Â you’ll see below. Â also sharing a couple of music channel shares that called me to take a looksie. Â they speak for themselves. Â which is good as i am too tired tonight to come up with descriptions. Â lol
