Category: Daily Notes

a brief – but powerful experience….

i was getting the table put together for dinner.  the radio was on.  as i walked out of the room to tend to something else, david bowie’s “let’s dance” came on.  i used to love that song but knowing what i do now, i’m not such a fan.  the song continued and when it came to “put on your red shoes…” i felt something within my core – stopped – and said “NO.  i will not listen to this song.  i don’t allow it in my space.” i turned to head back into the kitchen to turn it off but something strange happened – the song stopped and there was silence.  i started to ask my girl if she turned off the radio (she hadn’t) but before i could, a new song began to play.

there you go.

love,

victoria

Today was very busy – with some beauty and strangeness mixed in.  It began with my girl and I returning to an estate sale we had gone to yesterday.  The woman who put it together was clearing out some of her mother’s items.  Her mom had died weeks before after living a long, active life for 101 years.  I didn’t know this until after-the-fact but while walking through the house, I kept sensing an elderly woman’s presence.

At this sale, there was a vintage doll my girl really wanted.  I told her she could have it but she had to use her own money.  It was a bit out of her price range so I asked if there would be markdowns the next day.  Yes, there would be 50% off today.  So we decided to return.

Well upon returning we noticed the doll was gone.  The woman running the sale saw it and said she was sorry – a woman had come first thing and bought it.  There was some disappointment of course but she had a couple of other things in mind to buy, so she purchased those items and we left.

A few hours later there was a phone call from the woman who ran the estate (I had given her my number as she had said she had some more vintage dolls she would like to give to our girl – but had to look for them).  She said the woman who bought the doll did not “feel right” about having it – something kept bothering her so she decided to return it and it was ours if our girl still wanted it – which of course she was (considering the pitch and volume of the squeal that came out of her that was confirmation).

The doll was meant for my girl and how it transpired was quite beautiful.  “Best day EVER” she said.  I could feel the Divine Hand in this one.  Chills.  I said to the daughter it may be possible her mother helped with this and she smiled and said yes it would not surprise her if that were the case.

I could feel how “close” we are now energetically to that realm.  Call it Heaven.  Home.  It felt very “close”.

Later this evening we had dinner with some wonderful people/friends.  Both of our girls are “best friends forever” and I love talking with the mama.  In time Brother Rick sent a text.  My phone was in my purse and I didn’t look at it until I went inside to get some more delicious food.  I noticed something – I felt like I slipped from one realm to another – energetically.  Like being in one reality and going into another.  Like I said – I really like these people – but they don’t speak of things like Q and Home and the event – which really are about the only things I really want to talk about.  So seeing his text was like this feeling of  “home thank you!”  Not that I was having a bad time – I was enjoying myself.  But I still didn’t feel I could be fully ME 100%, you know?  Yeah, I know you all know that.  I long for full connection and feeling like I don’t have to “red pill” (an offensive term to me anymore but it’s the best description) – but i can just share and have it all be in alignment.  So…..I went from one experience to another energetically – immediately.  Just knowing he sent me a text – sent me his energy in that text – was enough.

That being said,  I didn’t really get a chance to feel into his text until we returned home where he essentially said he felt he could now slip in and out of the matrix quickly.  He felt the end and beginning were playing out at the same time now.  And…….He could feel the “no time” experience.

After returning home, when I got online after awhile, one of the first things I read was this (by Amanda Lorence):  “WAYSHOWERS:  It feels we are in a space…of NO TIME.Incoming Energy INFLUX is still on going. I feel it won’t stop either, (click here to read the rest).

So there you go……”no time” – twice – in about 2 hours.

For the past 2 days massive waves of energy have entered our realm and they are not from the Sun (unknown origin is what more mainstream types have said).  Big things are up – changing.  Transforming.  I can feel this one deep within “ma bones”.

Love,

Victoria

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our city is declining – quickly.  anyone else noticing the breakdown of society resulting from pay to live is accelerating?  it’s almost epidemic-like now.  exploding.  homeless are literally showing up everywhere around town.  campers along the side of the roads.  tents in parking lots.  drug camps are mixed in with this population leaving needles, garbage and a lot of human waste behind in the alley ways, all along the rivers, streams, woods and public parks.

it is beyond disheartening.  emotions range from sadness to fear to anger and disgust. people forgotten – lost – no longer care.  i understand that feeling experience.

city government has allowed this to happen.  police do the best they can but are stymied by elected officials and their policies.  we have social media pages now of private citizens addressing this issue.  there was a public meeting on this last night and our elected officials simply opted to create an oversight committee to look at addressing the problem.  a laughable joke as the awakened locals know our government is brilliant at spending millions on coming up with solutions on paper but those solutions DO NOT MANIFEST.  it was actually a campaign slogan of one of the people who ran for mayor last year.  we have a friend who is a city employee and even though he isn’t a fan of Trump, he admitted in a moment of passion as he expressed his outrage with the city, “I understand why the people elected Trump.  They were sick of the lies and wanted change!”

Many of the homeless are mentally ill.  You could say we are like other sanctuary cities – scattered “skid rows” throughout.

If this plan and cleaning up is going to continue on into the upcoming months and even year – we won’t have much of a city much less country left.  Certainly not the west coast and other sanctuary states.

It is mind boggling – the evil of the swamp creatures who would not only allow for this to happen but to create policies that enabled it.  These beings aren’t human.  No heart.  Purely robotic at this point.

Part of me wants to stay here and help.  And yet I know how exhausted I am. I don’t have it in me to fight much – not like I did in the past.  So most of me wants to come up with the funds somehow to pack up and move away so I can find and live in a peaceful, supportive community.  Bury my head in the sand?  Perhaps, yes.  Just like one can only take so much stress from the system, one can also take in so much sadness and disgust.

I pause – ponder – reflect.  About 15 years ago I had the desire to create a trust fund and when I would see someone in need of help in any way that required money, I would write them a check.  Naive?  Perhaps for I know some say you can’t fix a problem with money.

And yet, quite often, it is money that creates the conditions that lead people into homelessness.

What else is there to say.  Witnessing this breakdown is an unnecessary horror show.  There is no purpose.  No point.  Allowed to happen.  If ever there were a “point” when the program needs to end, it is indeed now.  Snap ALL awake and flood the skies with the frequency of Love.

That is all.

V.

today i am feeling in the exact same space as i was 10 years ago – at a standstill as to what to do next with my life.  10 years ago this time also happens to be when i had that “close encounter” with what felt like, at the time, to be a visit from family from Home.  i had no words for it – and no conscious knowledge of new earth, the event, etc.  just an experience where i was told “see you soon”.

soon.  …..  deep breath…..

i made a couple of new choices today.  try try again, right?  i had this thought that if i came out (around here that is) and said i am a non-binary, gender neutral unicorn identifying immigrant from guatemala i would have a plethora of help and assistance.  not really exaggerating either.  where help and compassion is tossed these days by the general public – system included – is disheartening.

so a lot of deep breathing mixed with crying today.  i’ve asked a local massage therapist if she would be willing to let me make payments or engage in barter.  my body is really screaming at me now to get this taken care of.  and the list of medical needs my mate needs addressed is just overwhelming at this point.  his eye surgery alone only pays 80% (cataract removal).  i just, you know?  feel trapped in a cage.

onward i go – as always….and some day, as i continue to say, i will no longer need to address this.

love,

victoria

This is getting old.  Energetically – old.

The divide.

I get the idea of the plan.  I see the purpose of exposing ALL and holding those who controlled and deceived accountable.

What I don’t support are these huge ego’s on both sides who think they are right and the other side – wrong.

For example – I regularly see many who do support Trump think every word muttered by the left has absolutely no value or merit.

Take the topic of free college.  What’s the problem with that?  Or free health care?  I don’t want socialism because I don’t want government telling me what to do and how to live.  However the concepts of free – can’t we discuss this?  Can’t it be time to dive into the concept that pay to live at any level is enslavement and denies one the Freedom to BE and DO.

Religion and abortion are still creating divides.  Want to practice your religion?  Fine.  Just don’t push it on others.  Against abortion?  Don’t have one and be willing to SEE how compromised we have been here.  Birth control is pathetic and with these compromised/altered bodies, we have lost the ability to control our own fertility.

Then there’s the gay/lesbian/transgender dialogue.  I don’t care what people do with their bodies.  I don’t care who you or anyone else chooses to love or with whom you have sex (in so long as it’s consensual and of an adult age).  Yes, I know there’s an agenda.  I know about the human and animal DNA put into vaccines.  I know about the hormones in the water.  I know the push to “accept all without question”.  I know the horrid push to sexualize our children and expose them to situations that were once for adults only.  It’s sick.

We are all still PEOPLE – regardless of what gender we identify with.  We have all been victimized here and for many it’s just plain luck and divine grace they have not fallen victim to this whole trans-humanism agenda. Imagine the horror at really not feeling right in your own body?  Almost as challenging as not feeling right about existing in this realm.

Compassion is the only way to relish in the freedom coming.  Judging others isn’t fun – certainly not for the long term.  When we discount anyone simply because they are different – we close our hearts and remain in anger.

I’ve been as guilty as anyone else in all of this.  I am feeling more of a draw now to understand.  To see and listen.  And hear.  I am feeling the desire to see how every one of us has been victimized here – our perception of truth hijacked.  We have been programmed not to just be “sheep” but blind sheep.

All is being seen.  That’s creating a lot of chaos – in ourselves and being projected “out there”.  Our programs and the judgments in them – all being exposed.

Will the divide fade at some point?  I don’t know.  Both sides of (take your pick topic) are so busy shouting and pushing their perspective, they can’t hear the other side.  Today my girl and I watched a little house on the prairie episode.  The community was torn over the installation of a church bell.  The Oleson’s wanted to donate the bell and have a plaque erected in their honor. Some were for that idea – others adamantly opposed.  The refusal to listen or come up with a compromise kept the divide going for weeks.  It then took one man – a craftsman – and the towns children to come up with an idea – make their own bell.  The children gathered up tin and other metals while the craftsman melted it down, poured it into a mold and installed it.  That act of kindness softened the hearts of the fighting adults – and all was healed.

Reading to her later from a Berenstein Bears book.  A feud took place between the bears and grizzlies.  Another example of us vs. them.  So I saw how this divide/us vs. them theme was in the air today.

We need to expose all that has been hidden, yes.  Isn’t part of the nightmare of this experience, beyond the deception, is the power-over crap?  The programmed belief that MY way is better than YOUR way?

If no one is getting harmed or being controlled – WHO CARES HOW ONE CHOOSES TO LIVE HIS/HER LIFE?

Live and let live.

This divide – has morsels of truth from all sides.

We’ve engaged in enough shouting.

Perhaps it’s time now to listen…..and hear.

Love,

Victoria

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i’m seeing this more and more – some people losing their minds….or shall i say losing their programs and in the process, chaos is ensuing.  it’s sad – and a bit disconcerting.  i’ve had a couple of moments myself – when i am under a lot of stress that puts me into a state of numbness and trauma – where i feel “ok this is it.  i’m losing it.”  but i come back to center and do what neo does when he does that cool deep-breathing/regrouping.

i don’t share all that goes on with my life – mostly for privacy reasons – some out of not wanting to rock any boats or offend anyone.  i am by nature a maker of peace – and conflict – especially when it is the same topic being visited over and over – is something that quite frankly repulses me.

the topic of money as you all know by now stresses me more than any thing. my left hand and left foot are numb at times – tingly actually.  i am in need of chiropractic work and have yet to find one who will work with me.  my insurance doesn’t cover it.

i visited my neighbor last week and practically begged him to hire me – let me clean his house (which he desperately needs).  organize it.  cook him a homecooked meal.  he wasn’t interested. my spouse works for him in the warmer months and gets paid for it – rightfully so.  i don’t know if it’s because i’m a woman or if it’s simply another moment where the matrix seems to be working through another to ensure i do not make the money i seek – am willing to work for – and deserve.

i’m beyond fed up with this topic.  i have been “attacked” for lack of a better word for not having enough for far too long.  and i am not going to be silent about it – i am not going to stop asking for help.  at some point that dam will burst wide open and i will have what i seek – what i am worthy of – and what i am willing to work/exchange my time FOR.  and i already do a lot of that here at this site – work.

i will take it to another level.  i don’t need advice.  i don’t need to listen to videos.  the need is basic – money.  that is it – nothing more, nothing less.

my desire to be fully transparent and honest has arrived.  at least it has gone to the next level.  whatever embarrassment or shame or fear i may feel – the desire to say “this is who i am this is what i deserve if you value me and what i offer you will show this in a financial way” – is here.  solid.  but gentle too.

at some point this will be mute – but now perhaps i am being given the chance to be more firm energetically and acknowledge ME.

and that is indeed what this current experience is about – transparency and revealing All.

love,

victoria

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