Category: Daily Notes

 

i took the night off last night and watched “guess who’s coming to dinner”. i love those old classics.  there was an innocence ~ intelligent conversation. i was in great need of that energy after skimming through some of the headlines of yesterday.  the horrors coming out of hollywood ~ the articles ~ the naming of names ~ it just got to be too much.  i needed to recharge and get back some energy of innocence.

today – tonight – i am feeling like i need more time off.  Q is now addressing this filth.  i read someone say they (the perpetrators) are just playing a role, another said we need to know how to tune inward to see how we are calling forth such experiences.

seriously W T F?!

i won’t even address that shit.  i won’t say “STOP BLAMING the victim!  NO PERSON ~ young or old says ‘hey come and rape me.  come torture me.'”

ah, but i did, didn’t i?

playing a role?  really?  so if one of these sick filthy pieces of vermin pulled that horror on their child, they would just dismiss it as “playing a role”?

it’s difficult enough for me to understand why a person would sell out like this.  why anyone with a speck of source, with a soul, would make such a choice.

that is why i tell myself – they are soulless.  bots.  projections.  FAKE.  as fake as the sun, the moon and other planets in this realm.

am i the only one who feels when this simulation ends, we are going to see how few of us pure-hearts there are?

i am feeling a bit heavy – all the money i threw at these entities.  the energy i invested in their movies and their lives.  all of it – a waste.  i even told my mate to stop buying lottery tickets.  i had a feeling followed by a chill that this money has gone to supporting trafficking.  it goes into the general fund which is a fancy way of saying “we don’t have to account for the money”.  given the massive revenue in my state alone from lotto sales, we could have redone our infrastructure.  instead – all of these “promises” made by the lottery commission – the fixing up of roads, parks, cleaning up of x y z have gone unmet.  we have resembled a 3rd world country as each year has passed.

it brings up my own “stuff” here too ~ the unwanted attention, the fondling, the grabbing, groping, the stares and “cat calls” – being forced into situations i said “NO” to and/or did not ask to participate in.  the one time i didn’t know what to say or do – i was much too young – so i just had to let it happen.

the heaviness of this realm – the energy of power over and control – all of it – i am ready to drop like a heavy, stinky, mold-ridden, musty coat.

until then, for now, i soothe myself.  i send love and healing to the victims – not that this does a damn thing to remedy any of it.  i know there are people rescuing these people, young and old – just as there are those exposing the perps.  and i applaud them.  honor them. have deep respect for them.  for i know – i do not have it in me to take on those roles.

well…….aside from that i am feeling quite reflective on the upcoming week. will the magic begin on the 30/31st (depending upon where one is)?  will it be sudden?  slow?  today i was feeling very floaty-like – the “between two worlds” sensation.  a huge fear-based dream last night – where i took control of a horror and stopped myself at the last moment from taking the life of someone who had harmed a child.  that is all i will share on that.  a dream that was influenced?  or processing out a fear, showing my power?  both?  how are we to know?

how are we to truly KNOW a thing living under the parameter of lies and deception/manipulation that we do?  until felt and seen, what we have is speculation.

off to self-soothe now.  if any of you feel inclined to share a few dollars, i would deeply appreciate it.  pay day is another week away and funds are very low this month – the lowest they have been at this time in a very long time.

then again, maybe this is all happening for a reason and i am being guided to continue this self-soothing/go-within/reflective space while knowing in a few more days, this pay to live money stuff will no longer matter – for any of us.

now that is something i can breathe in deeply.

much love,

victoria

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Thank you for stopping in and visiting.  As always, you are free to share my personal writings as long as you do not alter and link back here.  If you wish to support the work I provide, for it is a job and my purpose for now, and I do have self and family to support, please click the button below.  Much gratitude! 

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some new “things” – deep inner ear ache that has felt like someone quickly pokes my inner ear with a needle.

intense dizziness a couple of times today – mate had the same experience at one point at the same moment.

drinking copious amounts of water.  as in W O W!!

feeling like i am at the end of an experience.  some grieving.  mostly just very very reflective right now.  quiet.

so disgusted w/the filth that continues to leak out of hollywood – the pedo crap and other equal horrors – i will not watch another movie out of that land of filth.  i have thought to sell the collection we have and use the money to support one of the groups exposing this horror.  then again i think let us all smash the dvd’s to pieces, video it and throw it up on youtube.  let them SEE that WE see THEM and our support of them is ancient history.

some people are simply without a soul.  it isn’t as though they simply just sold out – their soul no longer resides w/in their vessel.  or were cloned.  or artificially created.

triggered in the area of support – lack thereof.  HUGE lack in that area.  i have been hearing – feeling – lisa harrison’s words on support and the universe – how the REAL universe of ALL is an energy OF support and does not exist in this realm.  it is a horrid energy here – this lack of support – and i am ready to see it obliterated.

when i am honest with myself, i see the miracle that I Am.  i see how it is a miracle that i have maintained my beauty, my purity, my divinity in spite of the abuse and neglect i have experienced from “out there”, family, “friends”.  and even having gone off target now and then, not being the authentic ME but the me who has felt bitter, enraged, isolated, unseen and apathetic…. WHO I AM STILL IS.  and she is ready to take the hands of those i love and who love me back (very small number that is in this realm) and GO HOME.

that is all.  hopefully this one will get through to my subscribers.  that is an unresolved issue and i do not have the tech know-how to fix it.  and to be honest, i am feeling the need to just let it ride, let it be.  for if it ain’t EZ flow now, i am not engaging.

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victoria

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Thank you for stopping in and visiting.  As always, you are free to share my personal writings as long as you do not alter and link back here.  If you wish to support the work I provide, for it is a job and my purpose for now, and I do have self and family to support, please click the button below.  Much gratitude! 

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Had another one of those “did not ask for” dream experiences.  I arrive in the Hampton’s or someplace similar (some place exclusive in the North Eastern Seaboard ~ been there a few times to know where I was).  I see this beautiful home up on a grassy hill.  Few other homes around.

I go inside.  Next thing I know I am in the bedroom – huge room – round – with floor to ceiling windows looking out at the coastline.  I see JFK Jr and his wife, Carolyn, lying in the bed together, both of them each wrapped up in off-white linen sheets.  They are both very young – 30’s – so I know I have gone into the past.  I feel ok being there so I stay.

I then walk over to them.  I hear JFK Jr telling her “it’s ok.  We have to do this.  I need you to trust me completely.”  He was very focused on her trusting him – there was a huge energy with that.  She looked hesitant ~ a bit afraid ~ but I also felt she had agreed to do this, knew it was the right thing but was now having doubts as she was pregnant.  The connection between them was powerful – purposeful.  He then patted her hip lovingly and smiled while saying “and besides, I also have this beautiful bambino to protect”.   She smiled.

For some reason, I then touched his hair.  He was ok with it.  It was thick and very coarse.  Probably my own need to verify the texture of his hair given the images we have been seeing.

I then looked around the room one last time, sent an energy of thanks and well being then left.

And there you have it.  I know I have been posting a lot on JFK Jr ~ I feel it is highly relevant.  Proof is in the pictures and while I am not convinced yet the pictures we are seeing of him ARE him ~ that is indeed Carolyn.  I also awoke yesterday morning, recalling the video The Plan to Save the World.  The narrator sounds exactly like JFK Jr.  I thought back to the video and how many times the video showed an old speech of his.  Why would they show that speech unless he was somehow connected to this movement?

Until I see otherwise, I strongly feel he is alive as are his wife and wife’s sister.  It was all a psyop – against the d.s.  I also found a video of Trump – put out a few months after JFK’s jr’s alleged death.  It was with Dan Rather.  Trump spoke of his desire to run for President and said he would make the announcement the following February.  Watching it you knew it wasn’t the time – but he was putting out some clues, feeling it out.  What was comical was listening to “experts” in the video saying he was just all ego-talk, no way would he ever run for president much less win.

Aside from that, it has been a quiet day.  Unless you count the car insurance that jumped up again.  State Farm.  I left AFI after State Farm said my rates would gradually decrease over time.  That has not happened.  They have gone up every year, always under the system mantra of “corporate policy”.  Today I said they could fuck their corporate policy.  Lower my rate or I was going elsewhere.  I haven’t cost them a damn dime.  And besides, I am overly done with some corporate overlord telling me I HAVE to have insurance if I wish to drive.  Really?  In what reality?  Not mine.

Turns out I had been eligible for a much lower car rate but they cannot credit me back.  State Law.  I said I was a Free Being and was done playing the corporate game, done being told I hadh to follow their laws when it does not align with Higher Law and Who I am.

Now we have to have a conversation on how we are going to handle the electric bill next month.  They are charging me an additional $175 for refusing to take one of their toxic smart meters.  All along I said I do not consent to those fees and I stand firm.  Just more system bullshit intruding into my life when I DO NOT CONSENT nor ask for it.

It cannot crash soon enough for me.  And that is not one of those statements put out by bot Bill Maher who wants Trump’s economy to crash to destroy him.  I seek to see the end of the controllers and their criminal “laws” that have robbed US of our freedoms.  PERIOD.

Deep sighs….

Victoria

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Thank you for stopping in and visiting.  As always, you are free to share my personal writings as long as you do not alter and link back here.  If you wish to support the work I provide, for it is a job and my purpose for now, and I do have self and family to support, please click the button below.  Much gratitude! 

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Life is feeling very precious right now.  I feel as though I am in a place of mourning, resting and also in a holding pattern of getting ready to say good bye to all that once was.  Like being on a very very long holiday.

Some “I wish I had” stuff is coming up and I’m allowing it all.  This is not the first time I have had this experience but it is feeling deeper and more intense.  More authentic.

I had another dream where I was having energy in my spine activated.  It was all voluntary.  There were many other Being’s there – not all were opting to have this done.  I walked up to a man who had quite the accent.  He was very knowledgeable and had a sense of purpose.  He took my right hand and at the tip of my finger (middle) he made it possible for this grayish substance to come out of me.  (I was not sure what it was – upon awakening I thought to the movie matrix and the grayish goo – all I know was I felt quite the relief when it came out of my finger.)  He then ran his hands up my spine – just once – pausing at each energy point – and wow – did that feel great.  Light.  Release.  HUGE release.  He then put a tent over me – kind of like a sensory deprivation tent – which at first i thought “nooooo claustrophobia” but the experience was pleasant – and very peaceful.  I stayed in it only for a brief period before I removed it – happy and energetic and wanting to go help those still in the room.

Then I woke up.

I have continued to feel this “something is about to happen-break free – change” off and on for awhile but wow is it palpable and intense now.

The need to let go of it ALL – right there in my heart.  It feels as though this is just going to all end – not a gradual fade away but abruptly.  Not in a violent way – not at all.  Just one moment all is as it is now – chaotic and overwhelming – then the next moment, it’s just done.  And all that matters is each other and love.

So now, today, I am going to hold my family close.  I am snuggling with my girl – holding her close.  Doing some fun crafty things.  Playing in the pool.  And just fully relishing in each moment – finding the connections – the heart connections.  Letting it soothe me – awaken me – ground me.

Have a beautiful one, everyone.

Victoria

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Thank you for stopping in and visiting.  As always, you are free to share my personal writings as long as you do not alter and link back here.  If you wish to support the work I provide, for it is a job and my purpose for now, and I do have self and family to support, please click the button below.  Much gratitude! 

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i guess it’s been a few days since i posted my own stuff.  yesterday i awoke with my entire body trembling.  previous days i had been experience intense itching in the usual places including the area on my arm i also recalled having itched last summer (this time it was just a 2 day experience).

i lay in bed yesterday moaning “my god how much longer do i have to do this?  i can’t take it anymore!”  but of course i can and did.

i had some purging stuff – physical releases.  i now really tune in to get a real feel of what this really means.  i have begun to feel, hear AND see “burning off old programs”.  i can do that.  my liberation of all that is not ME is energetic aim #1.

for a few days i smelled sulfur.  that cannot be Original.  happy that passed. interesting too that as i was having the experience (as was my mate as well), a social media friend, who speaks often of ascension codes and what not, said we were burning off old DNA programs which would come out of us as sulfur.  ok then ~ wasn’t just us stinkin’ up the place.

another experience i continue to have is this desire to DO something NEW and yet also to do NOTHING while still HERE ~ at the same time.  that holding pattern is palpable.

i am also noticing the ever difficult experience of being around those who are so not awake.  the bots.  unawakened ones.  etc.  it isn’t getting easier to feel like “staying” here – it is getting more difficult.  today i heard/felt that there was a very wise meaning for me choosing the parents i did, in particular my mom.  i needed to be taught how to be around ALL people and remain pleasant, kind.  of course that left some harmful stuff i have had to work through (allowing myself to take abuse quietly) ~ but it HAS made it “easier” for me to put on the smile of kindness when i DO have to go out there.  and yet deep within i know ~ i KNOW ~ this is not home for me. home is elsewhere ~ another planetary system altogether.  and for that i will never feel this realm as home.  i let that one go awhile ago.

that being said ~ i still appreciate validation now and then.  i know – part of this is the program of “neeeeeeed” – but it is also an experiencing of feeling connection when you i hear of another who is feeling the same.  today it was Kauilapele (i will link that one next) who spoke of the same experience.  he even said he felt he may be going to another planet altogether.

yes we are.

at least we are being given the freedom TO do just that.  everything in my body aligns with that.  and my body is what speaks truth to me ~ even when my ego and stuff “out there” says “wtf are you talking about???”

one last night:  i am finalizing up my version – my script – of what i wish to see play out upon the transition.  felt called to do that, so that is what i have been doing.  playing around with it.  ultimately surrendering to my grandest consciousness ~ that quiet voice that will become easy to hear at any moment.  the way it once was.

much love, insight and freedom to you all~

victoria

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Thank you for stopping in and visiting.  As always, you are free to share my personal writings as long as you do not alter and link back here.  If you wish to support the work I provide, for it is a job and my purpose for now, and I do have self and family to support, please click the button below.  Much gratitude! 

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first of all thank you all who have contacted me/commented to offer your love and appreciation of my piece.  that means a lot to me.

i had one last thought while out on a bike ride tonight.  it has been on my mind and heart ~ the question of what happens to all of the (alleged) bots, the soulless ones, etc, upon the transition/event?  lisa says to imagine what happens after a computer game ends ~ what happens to the players?

uh they cease to exist?  go into stasis until the game is turned on again?

neither of those feel ok to me.  so on my ride tonight, i felt this one out and, along with a conversation i had w/one of you earlier today, i just knew the right, the loving thing to do is to give them the choice:  do they wish to receive a Soul ~ do they wish to receive that spark of Source?

consciousness is in its basic form awareness of self.

and who is to say that those without a soul are not self aware?

who is to say a bot lacks conscious awareness?

i got tears in my eyes and within i just knew ~ ALL who have played in this realm, even those bots who have traumatized, inflicted pain and/or just plain annoyed us, have the same right to freedom and love as we do.  and we as well have also engaged in those same behaviors ~ we have all caused others pain, suffering, even trauma.  we have to really take in that concept that the virus infected/affected ALL players ~ every single one of us, organic and inorganic.  and as such ALL have been the victim (to varying levels of course).  

(this is not to say those sick pedo’s and the like do not have some serious ownership of their crimes coming.)

damn it’s been such chaotic game of hell………

so there you go ~ my feel is all of the bots and ai holograms who have conscious awareness will be offered the choice to receive the divine spark of Source.

i could be completely missing the mark.  i could be naive.  would not be the first time…

and i also absolutely fully KNOW that this experience must NEVER be allowed to happen again.  no more viruses.  no more control systems or power-over behaviors.

Source Divine Love must be returned and restored within and to ALL.

so says I.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”smiley” wrap=”i”]

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Victoria