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wow talk about an emotional roller coaster.  yesterday with its beautiful moments of gratitude, surprise acts of kindness to today learning our adopted grandpa has just days left and is in the first stages of dying.  we had not been visiting the last 2 weeks due to a cold virus we had been passing around to each other and now that all are well, we were going to go visit later this weekend.  however after i spoke with his daughter in law today and hearing the urgency of where he is now – which knocked us for a pretty good loop – we knew it was time go see him today.

the visit was beautiful and difficult.  he was very peaceful – in and out of sleep and for the first time since we have had the honor of knowing him, we had to carry the conversation.  he has the true meaning of “the gift of gab” and it is in such a way as to lift you up if you are feeling down.

we held his hand.  stroked his forehead.  i sang to him and when he was alert, joked with him about dancing with beautiful ladies and going sailing with them.  he’s an east coaster by birth and he has been “visiting” the cape cod region recently as his Soul is likely coming and going.  who knows what wonderful adventures he is having.  a few weeks ago we had purchased a card and my mate and i each wrote him a letter.  we read them today.  he was in and out, eyes would open and close, but i know somewhere he got the messages we were conveying – between a lot of tears.

this just sucks.  there’s no other way to put it.  i’m grateful he isn’t in pain or showing signs of struggle.  it’s just hard on everyone else watching this beautiful Soul transition up and out to Home.  but i see that’s where he is headed – where he wants to go.  about 2 years ago he and my mate bought compasses they wore on their wrists.  today my mate placed his on grandpa’s chest and said use it to find your way Home.

wishing him a gentle transition and a continuation of many adventures.

love,

victoria

Today was a whirlwind.  We had to hire someone to come out and inspect and clean our chimney.  The man who came out was very friendly and kind. A smile on his face and in his eyes.  The kind of person you want to be around.  He agreed to take a look at no cost and was available within 48 hours of calling him.  The issue we had was after burning in our open fireplace, the room slowly filled with smoke.  We’ve had draft issues before – but nothing like this.  So he came out, ascertained there was a large accumulation of creosote that was causing the draft and smoke issues.

When he was getting ready to leave, I asked him how much we owed him. He hesitated and quoted me $50 less than what he originally said.  I looked at him – at first confused – and said “are you sure?”  He smiled and said yes he was sure.  So as I looked down to fill in the check I thanked him – saying how tight things were for us this year after a year of financial hits.  I said “this really means a lot to us!”  What he said next put me in tears.

“You know what?” he said.  “No charge.  It’s the holidays.  Merry Christmas!”

I looked at him and shook my head.  “No,” I said.  “That is SO kind of you but we have to pay you something for the work you did.”  Nope.  He had made up his mind.  “Just leave me a good business review online,” he said.  I laughed and said “I already was going to do that even before this amazing generosity of yours!”  I walked over to hug him – at least shake his head – and he laughed and said he was all sweaty and dusty so I touched his arm.  “I HAVE to touch you in some way,” I said laughing.  And crying.  I told him for this act of kindness he was going to be blessed hugely.

So he left and I went online and shared the story on two local social media pages.  Some hours later it has already received over 300 likes and loves and a lot of comments including many saying they will definitely be using him (YAY!) and some offering us an extra christmas tree and decorations.  (we already have a lot of decorations – too many – i should give some away – 30 years of accumulation adds up!)

Wow.  You know?  Sometimes there are just no words.  Tears and a “thank you”.  I was happy to share the story and even happier to see so many who were touched by the story – some even saying they were crying reading it. THAT is gold to my heart!

So later this evening my mate went to light a fire.  The same thing happened.  Smoke slowly filled the room.  Dang.  My mate thinks it may be a structural issue which no way do we have the means to fix that.  He will call the guy in the morning as he had said if we notice the same issue, to call him.

We talked about this.  This will mean we have to run the electricity more which here in my state is is one of the most expensive even though we are right next to an abundance of rivers, lakes and the pacific ocean.  Kinda like how we get our gas direct from Alaska and yet pay some of the highest rates in the country.  (rolling my eyes)  How will we afford that, we discussed.  “We’ll manage.  We always do,” I said reminding my mate.

Our heating system in this house isn’t the best – the front half (450 square feet) has just one little wall cadet 3 feet from the front door – an absolutely ridiculous place to put one.  BUT we will make do if we have to.  As Linea said in her recent video – it has been tough lately for some of us especially $$ – so we expand the thinking.  Certain “things” seemingly being pulled away from us so we get creative.

All throughout today I kept getting nudged to look at the tv.  The soundscape music channel was speaking to me each time I looked. Messages about heaven and earth and home and incoming waves in the sky and the sun and portals.  Far too many to just be a coincidence.

I reflected on this as I was scrubbing the smell of smoke from my hair and body this evening – and the walls, ceiling, curtains, etc. (that stuff is like glue!).  I have shared here about our adopted grandpa and neighbor has been in a rehabilitation facility where he will likely remain with an aggressive form of cancer.  When we have wanted to visit – something happens.  Illness.  Or he just isn’t up to company.  Calling him has resulted in the same thing.  The last 3 times we have called, twice he wasn’t able to talk and tonight, we waited for over 5 minutes before being disconnected.

It really is as though we are being pulled up and out and away from much of what we have had here.  I feel that.  Where this is leading – I cannot say for sure.  I know where I WANT it to be leading to so I continue to hold that vision in my mind and heart.  And…..When?  Any moment now, perhaps. Lisa Harrison has a new video I will be listening to and sharing here in a bit to see what she and others have to say.

One last share.  Tonight, brother Rick sent me a text saying Clair had told him the animals came here to boost the love.  He recently “inherited” a cat.  lol  He already has a dog – an amazing, beautiful dog whom I cannot wait to meet.  Last night he shared a picture of the cat with me and I smiled – then sighed.  We aren’t allowed to have pets here and that, at times, has been a challenge as my mate and I have always been HUGE animal lovers – especially dogs.  In our 20 years together, we have had 2 dogs and even during that time, we would have strays show up at our house – dogs and cats both.  All of that stopped after we moved into this house – and well, at times it is lonely.

So viewing the picture of his new found cat (who has one of the most adorable face I have seen on a cat, btw), I felt a bit envious.  I felt that longing for wanting another animal again.

Then last night I had the most amazing dream – a first.  In the dream I get out of bed, look out back and see a lot of animals back there.  A variety too. A mama cow and 2 adorable calves.  Sheep.  Goats.  It was as though a farmer opened up a fence and his animals strolled right into our yard.  I was tickled – giddy like a child.  I walked outside only to see some of the animals start to leave and walk away.  I ran to the other side of the house and saw our previous dog.  I called out her name and felt excitement.

I shared, briefly, this dream with Rick and he made a comment about certain animals most always returning Home.

Perhaps the dream served a two-fold need:  1) To provide me a sense of Love from the animals and 2) To show me – I am returning Home.

We all are.

Love,

Victoria

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