Category: Daily Notes

yes zzzzz is a word.  i’m the teacher in this house so…..lol

last night i put out a comment on yellow rose’s latest video – comment section – anyone else feel the need for sleep amp up even further this past week (as if that’s possible at this point??)?  several responses – all agreeing wholeheartedly.  as one person shared – falling into a comatose state.  Y E S!

today i am once again not really that interested in what’s going on in the world.  i have days where i am and others where i’m not with the overall experience being one of really not aligning – other than in moments here and there.

the spraying has been intense the past week.  i still don’t see how anyone can observe the skies and think this is somehow “normal”.  whoever said this program was taken over by “white hats” is either completely wrong or they are utterly off in their timing.  some have stated they are spraying us with “good” things.  healthy concoctions.  possible – but i’m not buying that one until i KNOW.

in recent days i have either heard or had someone tell me the longing for Home is nothing more than a longing for oneself – an inner experience.

wrong.  wrong wrong wrong wrong and wrong  lol

and how presumptuous and honestly, rude.  how can anyone proclaim to know what one’s Truth is?

it is my Truth that this is an inside AND an outside experience.  what good is it to just be in a state of peace while still in a prison of deception?  that’s like having the cake presented to you but all you can do is look at it.  you can’t touch it.  you can’t eat it.

I WANT MY CAKE AND EAT IT TOO!  lol  hey no wonder that phrase got hijacked and used to make us feel guilty for wanting to eat that delicious treat!

i know what i know.  i know i have longed for “Home” since i was a young child.  and it isn’t about dying and being with Source/God.  it is about KNOWING there is someplace else I BELONG.  with people – with others – with a family.  and not only that, but most importantly, doing things different than what is done here.

if someone doesn’t align with this, fine.  we are ALL experiencing this awakening in our own way.  honor the difference.  as i am in no mood due to lack of sleep and frustration of the rinse and repeat experience to allow anyone to come into my personal space whether inside my home or in a conversation out in the world or in a social media environment and tell me what it is I really Want.  Need.  AND KNOW.

R O A R.  lol

love,

victoria

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these “clouds” did not move.  i first spotted them around 5:30pm and they were still there as the sun was setting (another one decided to join in). other clouds of course slowly moved/changed positions- i watched as we had an onshore flow/wind.  so……they’re heeeeeeere (and i as wondering what they are dooooooooooing – so i asked….i didn’t feel anything, so i went inside and noticed there was a song on the music channel that said “here with you” then the song ended, a new one came on and i saw “clouds” in the album title….so perhaps that was a message)…..

and here are some recent captures on the COR2…a lot of activity coming from that object we call the “sun”…..all while the KP index remains low….

there is a lot of structure in this one:

other than that other-worldly weirdness, today i felt as though my head was, well, in the clouds.  again so sleepy – very hungry and equally as thirsty.  the feel continues that i cannot keep up w/all i need to do and i feel challenged to eat enough, drink enough AND sleep/rest enough.  i had several moments where talking was a challenge (giggles ensued).  eyes continue to feel heavy.  and yet in between i had moments where i felt amazing – up – quite happy and elated.

one new choice i have been employing is noticing when i am feeling tight or stressed somewhere – stop – then gently tape my upper legs, one at a time, in order to create a bi-lateral experience in my mind.  it’s very soothing and brings me back to the NOW moment.

which speaking of…..my mate and i were equally lamenting and laughing over our girl – how she bounces from one activity/thought/etc. to the next – with ease – and quite quickly.  that’s how kids are – beautifully equipped to simply be in the moment.  we spoke of how we are also innately able to do this – but having all of these “chores” to do each day takes us away from that experience.  add in the thoughts about ok how will we pay for this, what needs to be taken care of today….as my child says “and, well, yeah there ya go”…  as we stated – we could easily be in the moment if we had a self-cleaning house, replicator, full access to every one of our innate abilities then remove the pay to live system of enslavement and HECK YEAH – we’ll be in the moment with ease.

coming SOON to a NEW experience to you.  and you.  and you.  and you. and…..etcetcetc

love,

victoria

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after yet another experience of “I NEED TO SLEEP NOW” – where i drag myself to bed and don’t even recall falling asleep – just waking up an hour or so later.  tonight – when i woke up – i felt my muscles were quite weak and i was shaking all over – almost as though i was very cold suddenly.  my mate had the same experience.  and our girl – while she didn’t sleep – commented she felt her muscles were like jelly for a few moments. interesting as i had told my mate in private my muscles felt like jello.  she has also told me in the last 2 days she feels butterflies in her tummy as though something big is about to happen. butterflies of excitement.

something’s definitely “up”.

but what is “it”?

i like to know.  i like to be in charge of my ENTIRE experience.  deception and i don’t align.

i also had some moments where again i felt i was walking sideways.

something about our reality is being changed – affected – by something.

the question is:  what is that “something”.  benevolent or otherwise?

others say to trust – do not engage in doubt.  and yet they are the ones who claim to hold answers and “secret” intel – having alleged access to these “comms”.

by nature i am a leader – not a follower – so this is especially challenging for me.  more than once i have commanded to be “in on the gig”.  let me see.

for now – i am going to detach and find something funny to watch.

love,

v.

to start, i had an interesting synch today.  a fun one.  last night i was dreaming of coins – silver coins.  when i woke up i was guided to continue the collection of silver coins (which in our opinion, is the most under-valued of metals – gold being the most over-valued – in terms of abundance and use in this realm).  so….earlier today my mate went to return a movie and on a hunch, decided to check the coin machine (coin star).  he returned with a silver 1949 canadian piece.

looking online i see a lot of the new age philosophies – coming up and out – that serve one thing:  the matrix programs.  the first one was how it is up to each of us who is awake to awaken the rest to raise the vibration of the planet.  false.  first what is the truth of “awake”?  we don’t know everything – yet – at least we don’t know all that has been hidden here.  i can’t awaken anyone anymore than i can control another.  all we can do is be ourselves and hold the knowing of who we really are within and be that – as we are in our current state of Being.  will some of that “rub off” on others?  yes –  of course.  we are all connected.  but to hold the thought that it is our responsibility to awaken others?  nah.  that’s an individual doing.

the other one – that is actually one of those trigger phrases for me – it is our pain that allows us to know who we are.

uh, no.  i do not align with this one in any way.

we come into this experience knowing who we are.  we carry that with us. always.  what happens is due to the “rules” and doing’s of the experience here, all suffer some level of trauma.  the purpose of trauma is to BLOCK us from knowing/being/remembering and most importantly REMAINING in our True Selves.  it’s been a cycle.  hurt people hurt others.  on and on.  it’s part of the virus.  we don’t need to go through “hell” to know “heaven”. this is a “new age” program that serves the continuation of harm.  evil.  free will. can any of you remember being a child – or even an adult – and having an experience that left you asking “WHY are you doing this to me?”  pain ensues.  we have this response because we KNOW it doesn’t align with who we are.

so let the healing continue.  but let us also embrace the Truth that we don’t need to continue the cycle by essentially asking for more of the same.  for if we believe it is true that pain helps us remember who we are – we are actually calling for MORE pain to enter our experience.   who in their full self – right state of being – would do that to themselves?

Love Heals.  Love Awakens.  Love Supports.  THAT is what we REALLY need.

and as my trauma healing practitioner reminded me this week – the strength (and Truth) of YOU has always been inside.

embrace it.  know it.  Be it.

love,

victoria

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so….i don’t know if this very new (never before seen) and unusual signature had any influence on how i felt today….but all day i felt very neutral.  calm. no strong emotional pokes or feels.  just – chill.  i’m just sittin’ here watchin’ the bubbles blow all arouuund….

i could also sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and, well, you get the picture…

so – i really have nothing other than that – nothing new – to say or add so i will keep this one brief.  here’s the latest schumann read with those 3 horizontal signatures.  trying enlarging it.  it is really unusual.  the top two are similar – the bottom one – in a class all by itself fluctuating between 36 and 32 Hz.  other than that – a lot going on below…

love,

victoria

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actually, there is not much to reflect on.  i would – if i could – but my brain is focused on two things yesterday and today:  sleep and eat.

it’s as though suddenly i am eating and sleeping for multiple versions of myself.  or perhaps a more accurate description is a part of me is suddenly birthed – a newborn baby – and i require eating every hour and sleeping – well more than i am which is approximately 11 hours at night and an hour nap in the evening.  that helped last night.

tonight?  no.  still needing more sleep but first my body is requiring yet more food – and water.

last night i read a couple others on this same journey/focus ask if anyone is suddenly ravenously hungry.  it’s as though i have the hollow leg theory – i eat and eat but where is it going?

very strange.

and for now – i’m going with it.

my mate reminded me of what i began feeling about 2 years ago – the closer we get to that moment, the more i will need to sleep.

i wonder if it’s too late to CANCEL/CLEAR that one.  this is a bit much.

i end this piece with the recent schumann image.  sharp jolts all night and into today.  i woke up this morning and had – yet again in recent days – the thought:  am i losing my mind?!  one of you sent me a message early this morning that greeted me as i turned on my phone:  “I am losing my mind”

well i do know this – as i read over 20 years ago – to know Source/Self – you gotta be out of your mind.

how are all of you doing?

love,

victoria

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i wanted to drop this one here awhile i’m in between doing’s for the day.

while out and about earlier, i reflected on a message Vincent Kennedy (twitter – below) shared….given what i have read and heard from others, publicly and privately, the struggle that really kicked in last week continues. i want to know what is behind this energy/experience that is impacting so many of us – including those who don’t feel or aren’t in tune w/the idea of a spiritual and universal war.  that alone is what convinced me today this isn’t just my personal stuff i am feeling.  it goes beyond that.

so here is what came to me.  the Big Us on the outside is awake now – at least awake enough so that we are feeling the expansive nature of what this Universal Clean-up is about.  the more we fully awaken here AND there the more we feeeeeeeeeeeel what’s going on.

it is my feel we are all tuned in together – like one giant radio – and we are feeling E V E R Y T H I N G – far easier than ever – the experience itself (the ability) expanding.

i was asked for advice today.  ha!  i didn’t and still don’t have any suggestions much less some useful answer as to how to ease the suffering/struggle so many are currently feeling and experiencing.  so i created a vision of comfort and support enveloping this person.

perhaps that’s all we can do for one another right now when any other ability to assist isn’t doable.

i am reminded of a song i wrote almost 20 years ago – one line in particular. “reach out to me and i’ll reach to you.  take my hand and hold on.  just hold on…and it will be alright.”

love,

victoria

i forgot to include an ongoing experience of being bone-chilled cold.  last night we had the fire roaring – the heat was on in the bedroom and i was underneath flannel sheets, blanket and comforter and could not stop shaking.  i was also hit with a wave of nausea – which is a very unusual “symptom” for me.  cbd oil didn’t help nor did heat so i just went with it and after about an hour or so, fell asleep.  today the temp is in the low 60’s and sun and yet i continue to be very cold.  yesterday the sun was out as well and i had on a sweater, winter coat, leg warmers as i went on a walk.  this is not like me!  lol