Category: Daily Notes

 

Anyone else have this random thought and feeling, which now feels more intense, that we need to just sleep our way into the event/the shift (meaning just sleep as much as you feel called to which for me right now feels almost constantly)?  Obviously for practical purposes this is not possible for many of not most, but darn if I don’t have that desire.  Off to zzzzzz right now.  So tired at this moment I will likely not remember typing this.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”grin” wrap=”i”]

 

As I was driving around today, attempting to focus my thoughts when all I really wanted to do was go back home and sleep, the word “discombobulated” went through my mind.  We all have those days where we head out with the desire to find a few items only to find ourselves unable to find what we were looking for in the first place.  Now likely if I had listened to my own desires and stayed home and rested/slept and headed out tomorrow or the next day, I likely would have found what I was wanting. Easily.  Just like finding that artwork yesterday.  There was such a flow yesterday.  Today was the exact opposite, that is until I took my child to the park and vented out my frustrations on paper and then, re-reading my thoughts and knowing “this is not the state-of-mind I wish to be in”, I finished up the venting with this one:  “i will instead find my sanctuary of peace within.”

She is there – somewhere.  Just having a struggle of it today.  When at one of my stops the clerk asked how I was enjoying the first day of fall.  I replied yesterday was a much more peaceful day for me within.  Today I feel that pain in the blank experience of old stuff wanting attention ~ this time it is ME that wants love.  I don’t need to just release the old stuff ~ I need to be in tune with what I really want – LOVE.  Peace.  Respect. Attention.

That last one – attention – something I have perfected in giving away to others while neglecting myself.  How often have I thought “how SELFISH they are” – when in truth, it is an act of self-love.

Is it indeed possible for me to be so in love with myself, I release all expectations towards others?  Is it possible to be at such peace with myself that the reactions of others have no affect on me?

In my discombobulated state, I am able to find truth in that.

 

 

 

last night ~ strange glow due South at sunset

sunset last night ~ due west

interesting orb captures last night

sky capture this afternoon

tonight’s sky capture

acrobatic cat (the gray and white cat referenced earlier)

another neighborhood cat with advanced acrobatic skills.  i saw this out on a walk and saw neighbors out.  “do you see that cat?” i asked.  oh yes that’s felix.  he does that all the time, i was told.  well ok then.

some artwork i scored for free today (side of the road w/free sign).  this was after i walked around the house this past week and thought “i need some different artwork up on the walls”.  something new, funky.  thank you highest self/universe for the find!  this was a perfect find!

 

I laugh.  The term “7-11” and me do not go together.  I can’t remember the last time I went to our local store.  But today I did to give my daughter the taste of a slurpee.  On the drive there, I was pretty neutral.  Just driving.  Not looking for anything.  Yeah, the whole “allowing” thing.

As I turned down a new street, I was drawn to look off to the left.  I see a woman who I swear looked as though she belonged in the 1800’s.  From her clothing to her hairstyle, she looked completely out of place.  I was drawn to her and she to me.  In fact, she maintained eye contact with me until she rode her (ancient) bike in front of me, where she gave me the most beautiful, pure smile, which felt like a giant ball of Love that went straight to my heart.  It was palpable, amazing, much welcomed and left me bursting out in tears.

Completely unexpected.  An angel from another dimension?  Someone from a parallel universe?

Who knows. Who cares.

It was a gift of Love from a beautiful being.  The last time I had an experience like that was when I was 9 years old, only this happened in the middle of the night and she appeared by my bedside and again, gave me a smile that radiated a Love I had not experienced in this world yet.  Not even from my mom, I recall thinking at the time, which surprised me. There was a different kind of Love?

I am ready to be immersed in it.  I am ready to Remember it is within me. It IS me.

And you.  And you and you and you and you.

After that, the rest of my connections with people were, as they were the past few days, authentic and pure.  Even the rather grumpy clerk at 7-11 didn’t get to me.  When I asked him a question about the slurpee machine and he showed impatience, I immediately shut down my need to judge, shut down that story and instead gently explained why I asked what I did and when he had no answer, I said no worries, then thanked him.

Next, I blessed the man in line in front of me who was spending his hard-earned money on lottery tickets.  I told him I sent him good energy mojo’s of abundance.  We spoke briefly of the topic of money and both agreed ~ who isn’t struggling financially these days?  How unnecessary it all is.

Onto the next stop, I offered up an idea I have had recently on bringing in more food to the local food bank.  Given the volunteer’s reaction, the idea is a good one.  Again, another beautiful connection.

All resulting from a much needed, much welcomed smile from another beautiful Soul reminding me to get out of my dang head and get back into my heart, which is where I shine.

Shine on to me.  And shine on to you.

Victoria

 

 

[wp-svg-icons icon=”heart” wrap=”i”]Drop the veil of illusion, within and without.[wp-svg-icons icon=”heart” wrap=”i”]

 

Emotional pain.  Heart pain.  Feeling I have no purpose anymore for being part of this whatever it is.  Ascension?  Who knows.  Having received no donations and all requests to find someone to help me with this site marketing and monetizing going absolutely nowhere (which I do not get as I was GUIDED/lead to create this site, I have absolutely no “feel” for what step next to take.  Nothing feels right.  I feel like Kevin Costner’s character in Field of Dreams where he goes against what is practical and builds that beautiful baseball field, putting his family, his finances, his home and land in jeopardy, on the brink of losing it all.  He demands “what’s in it for me?  I’ve done all I’ve been told (guided) to do!”

I am right there, right now.

I am tired.  Broke.  Out of ideas.  Sitting here with this feeling of emptiness.

Focusing on creating that my next step IS out of a hollywood movie with a beautiful ending, next step.

 

you will have to forgive the all lowercase tonight.  too detached to be concerned about proper pronunciation.  lol

so today i woke up feeling achy again after another night of also awakening at 3:30am. did i already mention that in my schumann piece earlier today?  maybe i did.  obviously the short-term memory issue continues.  well anyway, another night of being wide awake at 3:30am. and hot. stuffy…even though it was in the 40’s last night.  i simply had to get up and move in my own space.

we have a shower that until today i would describe as “large”.  it is – at least 3x larger than the standard shower stall.  today though?  it was suddenly too small for me.  is it shrinking or am i expanding?  yeah i know the answer to that.  new experience for me – the shower being too small. my mate said he is feeling the same about it.  we also have a king size bed. it’s too small to share.  even our kitchen, the biggest room in the house, is too small for me to share.  i feel like i am literally stretching and expanding.  a huge growth spurt.  explains the ongoing achy pain stuff and the fatigue that is relentless at the moment.

and yet there are also the beautiful moments of pure bliss and serenity.  i am having some unbelievably beautiful connections with others these days.  today it happened everywhere i went.  eye contact.  pure heart sharing.  i can see the light in other’s eyes.  radiating from their hearts and smiles.  this is indeed happening and it is affecting us all and for most, the effects are beautiful.  it’s as though the truth of who we each are is making itself known.  including a neighbor of mine who does not like me.  i never felt at ease around her.  we had a conversation shortly after we moved to this neighborhood.  the topic was homeless people.  her belief was people who are homeless are lazy.  so yeah, not in alignment with me so she not liking me is no big deal.  however lately i have been running into her and i know it is for me to face my discomfort i have around her, heal from it, forgive myself and her AND meet her from my heart space.

which is what i chose to do today.

i greeted her with a smile and gave her thanks for something she had done that had inadvertently had a nice impact on my life and in particular, my daughter’s.  the scowl on her face never left (it never does).  she pursed her lips together and spoke a few words.  i agreed with her words and she said nothing further as she walked away.

what surprised me was how authentic i felt.  i was completely in my own energy space, unattached to her reaction.  and the most beautiful part – i truly wished her nothing but love.  i wished her well.  it was a very lovely experience.  well, at least for me that is.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”smiley” wrap=”i”]

emotional outbursts continue now and then.  now when i suppress anything and i mean anything, it can show up quickly in my body as stiffness, achy sensations, itchy skin and the need to spit.  i watched a video by victor otto on youtube earlier and he speaks of these emotional outbursts many of us are having.  if you feel so drawn, check him out and his insights on dealing with these experiences here.  some evenings i seem to live on my yoga mat.  at times on my walks i have had the urge to march – to really move my legs.  i have learned that using our big muscles is very useful when moving deeply held, powerful energies arising from old pains and trauma’s.  earlier today i suddenly began to cry.  i had no idea why and still don’t.  i just went with it.  allowed for the experience.

allowing.  that’s about all we can do these days isn’t it?  surrender and allow.

aaahhh.

wishing you all well~

victoria

 

 

                                           

 

There is a reason I have used several pictures in this piece.  It is to represent the concept that There Is No One Truth.

I have come to this conclusion after doing some pondering and inner reflection on the idea.  I know indeed when something resonates with me inside, the energy is solid and unwavering.  I simply KNOW what feels right – to Me.

After listening to another QHHT session, where I heard someone share their insights on Ascension and New Earth and our history, I found some things resonated and some didn’t.  I realized in that moment when I heard something that did not resonate with me, I began to feel doubt as to my own Truth.  I then realized when I do feel this doubt, how easily I give my power away. Simply because someone has a different version of Truth does not mean mine is not valid and nor does it mean this other being’s version is not equally as valid.

It’s like being at a buffet with a large group of people.  Not everyone will eat the same dishes.

I feel what is happening at the moment (and I was just called to look at the clock – 4:44) is that these incoming energies are allowing us a much easier opportunity to truly create the reality we want.  Certainly we all can see the limits that have been put in place to allow us such freedom.  For example, we can see how we have been under a system of monetary control and a cycle of karmic reincarnation.

And this is shared with no judgement.  If this is the way(s) people desire to live and experience, a Truth which works for and resonates with them, that is ok.  I happen to resonate with another version of reality.  I also realize I may have agreed to BE a part of these versions of reality that today, I no longer wish to participate in.

I believe there are a multitude of “new earth” experiences we will be able to “choose” from – depending upon our vibrational frequency which is based on what we desire and hold as Truth.  This is just another step in our journey, another experience in which we are now FULLY FREE to choose because the restraints are being removed, for lack of a better description.

Therefore, it is time we all honor one another’s Truth.  What is false to you may be true for me.  What is true for me may be false for you. As I sit here in more reflection and think about how different our truths often are just on the topics of Ascension and our History, a small voice within says “they are all true”.

Wow.

Embracing this concept, we no longer need to convince someone of our Truth nor do we need to participate in the games of boundary violation and imposing our will upon another.  These are games we have all played. I have become a pretty good expert at them in this life carnation cycle.

And yet I wish to let it go for it serves me no purpose.  I am here to create my own experience and in doing so authentically, when I am focused solely within, I am naturally inclined to allow for others to do the same.

And in another moment of synchronicity, I have an article I will be linking by Vera Ingeborg, which showed up in my inbox this morning.  She discusses this concept of there being no one truth.  Very cool… as I awoke this morning thinking I needed to hear something from Vera and Diane Canfield.  I was needing their words of wisdom and it had been awhile since I had received anything from them.  Today, my inbox contained pieces from both of them.

It’s all good.  And I wish ALL of you peace and send you energies of support as you each traverse and create your own experiences, based on your own Truths.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”heart” wrap=”i”]

Victoria

***

Awesome people ~ thank you for reading and thank you for supporting my work.  Feel free to share with others.

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Well, after having a pretty good day, decent energy, I crashed and burned hard around 8pm, which happened to be the time of the 8 minute Global Meditation.  I sunk quickly into the meditation, right ear suddenly buzzing loudly – very loudly – and moments later my body screamed “lay down NOW”, which I did, and promptly fell asleep for about 45 minutes.  I awoke to the enthusiastic callings of one small child yelling “mama mama!” who wanted me to tuck her into bed.

Did that mean I had to MOVE, I grumbled in my mind.

So I pull myself up, crawl into my girl’s bed, snuggle us both up and read a couple of stories before giving the normal million hugs and kisses. Feeling like an absolute slug, I pull myself up yet again out of another bed, walk back to my bedroom in a zombified state and pick out clothes to wear after the nice long hot shower I intended on taking.

Didn’t go quite as planned.  The picking out of the clothes part.  I was looking for something in particular ~ and could not find it.  You see, the weather has gone from 85 and sunny to 55 and rain in a matter of 48 hours and my body is trying to play “catch-up”.  I suddenly want yoga pants and comfy tops.  I could not find my comfy tops at first and given my almost drunk-like mindset tonight, this suddenly had me feeling like a little girl.  I wanted my comfy top, the pink comfy top in particular!  Tears formed in my eyes and I stomped my foot.

Then I drooled a bit in my state of fluster.  (no joke)

Yes, I was quite a sight.  Wow, I am that tired and that affected by these 40 hz plus continual spikes, I thought.  What began as a feeling of bliss and calm this morning manifested into a toddler storm by evening. Whoever wrote of these times bringing out bi-polar states was not kidding.

After a long hot shower, I am now parked on the couch, cup of hot tea, feet on my foot massager, hot buddies on my back.  And obviously typing at the moment, although it has taken me longer than expected. Apparently along with my inability to balance my check book, find my calendars and keep track of all of this 3d reality “stuff”, I seem to be having a difficult time typing.  Spelling used to be my forte.  Now my fingers struggle to type the words my brain is speaking.

For now.

I also sit here and ponder the big question:  Why isn’t everyone having these experiences?  These days I am not as shy about asking others “how you feeling?  feeling anything new or unusual?”  I have been relieved to find a few people around here who ARE noticing the body aches, the dizzy and spacey feelings and the absolute exhaustion some days.  Most however give me the “look” and say nope, they feel just fine.  I have noticed that those who DO experience these symptoms are either into or open to ascension and indeed wish and long for a new world reality.  Those who don’t have the physical experiences either don’t care or are fine with the way things are.

What will happen to them?  Are they simply not here to go through this?

Who knows.  I can only answer for myself these days, right?  But at times I get a little annoyed that the most clued out seem to be just fine and think the rest of us are the crazy ones.

Oh well, so it is.  I’m happy with my role of “crazy woo woo chick”.  Who for now is going to put my body onto my massager, for heat alone is not cutting it.  Then I will be watching a QHHT video on new earth which I saw linked on one of my favorite ascension-type youtuber’s, Allison Coe, QHHT, out of Portland.  She said watching this video gave her chills and was in total alignment with what she is feeling and what her clients are sharing in the sessions.  Which, btw, when I clicked on the link to the video, it showed someone had watched it until the 20 minute mark.  I knew it wasn’t me and it turns out, it wasn’t my mate.  Another timeline we began watching it and are now to continue it?  A message of synchronicity from the Universe to begin watching there at that time?  I will share anything “cool” about that when we watch it.  I will link it later. For now, I am happy to hear there are others who are getting the same/similar messages and feelings about where we are and where we are going.

Validation is good.  Almost as good as finding that pink comfy top.  (which yes, I did find and am wearing)

That is all for now.  Much love…

Victoria  [wp-svg-icons icon=”heart” wrap=”i”]

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Thank you for supporting my work.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”smiley” wrap=”span”]

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