Seeing all of these alternative, truth-seeking media/journalist channels being terminated by the bully in the room – in this instance YOUTUBE – sparks the inner rage of the Goddess who has had E N U F F of this shit.

Censorship is bad enough.  This is classic bully behavior ~ a behavior this sick twisted realm supports and encourages, hence the term “survival of the fittest”.  Let’s call it for what it is:  Survival of the biggest ass.

This brings up my own experiences, beginning with the most recent, which I shared briefly recently.  I did not, however, share who verbally attacked me.  It was my father.

This man has freely verbally attacked everyone in the family whenever he somehow deems it necessary.  And I have been the one consistent person in the family who has stood up to him.  Naturally he thinks, as a result, I am the one with the problem.

Isn’t a father supposed to cherish and protect his daughter?  Support her?

I don’t get it.

I know within ~ Victoria ~ why do you let this surprise you?  Hurt you?

My answer:  I just do.  It still surprises me.

And it still hurts me.

The bully mentality.  When someone disagrees with you, bully them into submission.  Or silence.

When you attempt to silence another, you are only showing your own unacknowledged fear.  You aren’t proving anything else.  Not one damn thing.

I also experience the feeling when the bullies my baby has been bullied.  The first one was at school.  This little shit bullied the other kids in the class regularly.  I was not made aware of this until one day I arrived to pick her up.  She ran to greet me, then feeling me hug her, she broke into tears.  I asked her what the tears were for and she sobbed “___ bit me!”

It was then the teacher came over, apologizing, telling me what had happened.  The kid just walked up to my child and bit her.  If she hadn’t been wearing her heavy winter coat, it would have resulted in a visit to the emergency room.  He bit that hard and held on as my girl screamed, finally releasing her when the teacher intervened.

Yeah, you can imagine the rage that stirred in me.  The mother of this kid was there and walked over to me, asking me “is your daughter the one my boy bit?”

“Yes,” I said.

I waited for her to ask if my girl was ok.

I waited for her to say she was sorry for her boy’s behavior.

I waited for her to say SOMETHING.

Nothing.

So I said “hopefully you will go home and talk to him about this so it doesn’t happen again.”

“Hmm,” she said, then walked away.

WTF?!

I suddenly had the urge to bite this bot.

It was then the teacher explained this was typical behavior of this boy.  He had the “inability to control himself”.  I was shocked.

“So then perhaps he should not be allowed to come to school until he is taught how to control himself,” I suggested.  Oh, they couldn’t do that.

I made it clear – this happens again – I am going to take action.  I expected them to make sure my girl was safe from such behavior.

That was reason number 145 for the decision to home-school after that.

Then there was the boy in the neighborhood who threatened to hit her with a bat, locked her in his backyard (as she cried) and called her names.  We terminated that relationship.  Did his behavior change after discussions with the parents?

Nope.

But it is the result of the public school environment.  Toss together a bunch of kids in one large space with ridiculously low teacher-to-student ratio and you’re gonna have those unsupervised kids doing whatever they want.

Public schools.  Just another arm of the system of enslavement and bully mentality.

And now we have people who bust their hearts, minds and souls exposing all of this getting silenced by the very bullies they are exposing.

And it only adds fuel to this abusive fire when the masses cheer when such forced silence happens.  I have seen this in my own experience as well.  At one point I was told people like me shouldn’t have the right to vote.  How scary a thought that is.  It wasn’t just said in anger.  It was said in truth.

Blind fools.  CNN could say to people with that mentality:  “New studies indicate that Organic foods are harmful.  Eat the foods with the GMO’s instead” and they’d blindly obey.  Goddess knows I have seen people I care about take the flu shot year after year.  Do they know what they’re injecting into their bodies, into those soft tissues?  Do they care?

Nope.  Because the bullies of the system have told them they do not need to worry. But when a truth-seeker says “hmmm I have some opposing information….let’s explore this” their cognitive dissonance short-circuits their ability to think, the results being mild and dismissive to outright rage-induced attacks.

Isn’t it time we GROW UP and out of this?

Yes it is.

Stop supporting the bully energy.

Support instead the Love energy.

The Freedom energy.

The understanding and openness energies.

The accepting energies.

It’s simple.

Be decent.  Be fair.  And be open to seeing a new perspective, lest you wish to turn into a mindless, stale life form.

And consider being supportive of those seeking the truth.

We share this realm with you as well and are as deserving of the same support as the “fittest”.

I had an awakening moment last night and into today where I not only saw how I created an unpleasant situation, but on the flip side I saw the power of my ability to Create.

How do I wish to use my energies?

Given the intensity of the incoming energies, our ability to create is speeding up – and quickly.

I took the space to dive in deep and acknowledge some old programming.  I also saw/felt the resistance ~ part of it I felt was matrix programming, part of it was simply a part of me that wishes to keep me safe and away from painful situations.

Well, needless to say this brought forth the tears.  Relaxed the chest muscles.  I awoke with the chest itching and heaviness again, the heaviness feeling like a huge weight of energy.  I knew it was something needing to be seen and released.

After doing some clearing, I was guided to remember to always return to the heart.

Always, in All Ways, return to the heart.

Even if the heart is closed up, keep going there.  Keep knocking.  Keep at it.

Remember who I really Am.  Not just in this life experience but in ALL.

That being said, for now I feel called to remember who I was as a child.

And to remember who I was when I was 32.  A magical year for me.  I transformed in so many ways Spiritually and from the heart, an intuitive told me I was “lit up like a christmas tree”.  However it was important to also keep myself grounded, she guided me.

That sounded boring so uh, well let’s just say I did not make the best choices after that.  And yes, even at 32, I really did think that sounded boring.  I was rather tired of being tied to the realities of third dimensional, linear crap.  I was flying high in the Spiritual Realm.

After making less than fully conscious choices lead me to experiencing situations I did not wish to experience, I became more locked into the lower realm of linear reality.  If I couldn’t see it or smell it, it was nonsense, more or less.  Distrust began to form and in time, apathy.  Thankfully I did have the occasional moments of trust and hope and wonder.

Creating more of those now.

So another reminder (my higher selves are so patient with me) to remember and return.

Remember ME.

Return to the Heart.

Always.

After the fully aware moment of agreement, I walked out into the kitchen, was drawn to look at the dish towel on the oven and saw an imprint of a heart.  See for yourself below.

Here is to our Awakening.

Much calmness and love~

Victoria

***

Thank you all for your ongoing support of my creations.  They mean so much to me ~ and they help keep me going with this little space in the cyber world.

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It is very cold here today.  Sunny skies.  Quite beautiful.  My girl and I headed out to get some food for the week.  Checking out, I had a wonderful conversation with the store clerk.  I have always really liked this young man and appreciate deeply his kindness.  He is just one of those pure Souls.  I love being around him.

Over the past year or so we have begun having expansive conversations.  He began seeing the numbers (11:11) and so he mentioned it to me.  Like some around here who know me, they know I am a “woo woo” type.  So naturally it no longer comes as a surprise when some will reach out to me to share an unusual experience.  Well, it does surprise me a little ~ but in a very meaningful, humbling way.

We spoke today though of the dark technologies, namely wi-fi, cell phones and smart meters.  He wasn’t aware of the utility companies plan to saturate our area with this crap.  I told him there was an opt-out option but they try and bully you to go along with their agenda by charging ridiculous fees, including a month charge of $30 so they can “pay” the person who will, goddess forbid, have to walk on the property and read the meter.

Yeah, just like they always did only now they want to charge you a new fee.

Whatever…

He shared that his mom would want to know that information.  He said he was born sensitive and proceeded to show me a necklace with a dark pendant his mom bought him to protect him from the fields.  What a consciously thoughtful mom you have, I said.  I asked him if it was orgonite and he said he wasn’t sure ~ he would ask his mom and let me know.  I showed him mine.  I wasn’t surprised to learn he was sensitive to such things.  The purest ones often are sensitive to this low frequency tech/environment.

It was such a delightful conversation, even though we spoke of a rather dark subject matter.  There was no rolling of the eyes.  No giving of the “look”. Pure interest and openness in what we each had to share.

Quite the opposite of the experience I had yesterday with the family member (and thank goodness that convo took place via e-mail).  I purged a lot over that experience.  I did some energy work along with visualization work this morning.  I imagined that part of me that was frightened and distressed over the experience (she was calling out for attention) ~ me as a young girl, probably 8 or 9.  I stood in front of her, this huge female Being, holding two swords.  I looked at her and asked her what she wanted to say.

Words were shared.  Warrior Being me spoke them to the other party.  I took the tip of my sword and ripped a bit of t-shirt material off the individual, making it clear respect was something this child deserved.  Protection. Love.  And I was here to deliver the message.

It was quite powerful.

I was going to wrap up the experience but that small voice within me said she wanted to move her body.  Before I knew what to “do”, my body began to voluntarily shake.  Limbs, my arms in particular, punched and jerked. Old anxiety ran through my body, causing additional trembling.

It  was  AWESOME!

I knew what was happening.

I remember once being told by one of the most open-minded, non-system based counselor’s I have had:  She said I was an intense person and her recommendation for me when I felt repressed anger was to release it in a physical manner.  Which explains the standing punching bag in my house.

Well, this need to “hit” something this morning went back over 40 years.  I could feel with this individual bullied me into submission with threatening words and likely grabbing onto me.  I always complied.  Until today.

She released.  She responded in the way she wanted to at the time.

Again, it was awesome.  Beautifully awesome.

I could see the Warrior Me smiling – silently observing this inner child me – letting her be.

After a few minutes, the experience was over and my body settled down.

I imagine if I had not allowed myself this experience, I would have kept it inside and would not have been up for having the conversation with the store clerk.

Nor would it have allowed me the energy to take the drive my girl and I decided to take after our trip to the store.

Driving up into the hills, we saw two deer cross the road.  I pulled over and reached for my cell phone to take a picture.  It’s an old phone so I can’t just point and click.  I have to go to 2 menu’s then pull up an option menu then jump down to the take a pic option.  The pad is tiny and even though I have small fingers, my small fingers still fumble around trying to press the correct even tinier buttons.

Well, by the time I had the camera ready to take a picture, the deer were gone.

“Where’d they go?!” I asked in wonderment.

“They already walked behind the house, mama”, my girl said.

Shoot!

Frustration quickly turned to humor.  I began to laugh.

“Well, this is a good reminder for me to just enjoy the moment in front of me instead of being so obsessed with capturing it on film.  Let my mind capture the memory,” I told my girl.

Enjoying the moment ~ as it is.  Fully.

Point received and integrated Universe.

I hope your day had a moment of similar wonder.

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Victoria

***

Thank you so much for supporting my work.  Keeping myself in chocolate (my go-to ascension food) is an expensive venture.  If you wish to help in this regard, please click the button below.  [wp-svg-icons icon=”grin” wrap=”i”]

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It was quite the day for me.  I got triggered by something that was said to me in a private conversation.  This person was very upset by something I had shared on social media.  It was my recent experience with the medical system.  I was not attacking all within it – I was calling out those with whom I have had direct contact.

Well unfortunately the individual personalized it and came out swinging verbally.  This is a family member, I should add, and while the behavior didn’t surprise me, the brunt of it caught me off guard.  And I felt the hurt.

I responded ~ after considering not to.  Was that the best choice?  I don’t know.  Life is a shit gamble at times and I felt a stronger need to protect my space and self than I did to just let it go.

Without going further, I will just say that I was able to respond without trembling hands and with little emotion so that was a good thing.  I will also say it did not have a happy ending.  I am willing to continue the conversation as long as there is respect and a listening ear.  Standstill on that one.

I felt out this experience throughout the day.  I cried.  I got angry.  I heard that small child voice within speak.  I listened.  Supported. Comforted.  I grabbed some chocolate and headed to the neighbor’s house who has adopted our family, adding me in as his adopted daughter.

I needed a daddy figure ~ in that moment ~ someone to say I am so sorry you got bullied sweetie.  I will make it all better.

Yes, I am, well, over 40 and can comfort myself.  But given I have more or less had to comfort myself over the years when faced with the mean ‘ole bully types, including throughout my childhood, I really suddenly wanted someone to just comfort me.  A daddy figure.  Someone strong and powerful to make it all better.

So I was welcomed in.  We talked.  He said he was sorry for my experience and wanted to then analyze this person psychologically.  Well given I have already spent enough time over the years doing that, I was not interested in that AT ALL.  So at that, I thanked him and headed home.  I walked inside, sat on the couch and was still and quiet.  Tears began to flow.  My mate walked in from outside, looked down at me, quietly sat down and placed his arms around me.

That was all I needed.

After that, I bounced back, for the most part.  I reflected on life.

A lot.

I looked online for pieces to share here.

None of it really felt relevant to me.

The politics.

The various opinions on ascension and new earth.

Waiting for something to happen.

Insights on how to get to x y z.

None of it resonating.

All that I desire now is love, peace and freedom in a way that I can only describe as Silently Now.

Without the drama or steps to take or hills to climb.

I just want to BE in that space without anyone putting in their interference.

And I could not find any articles on that so I am sharing this one.

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Victoria

***

Thank you for supporting this little piece of work I create ~ for whatever is really happening “out there” and in “here”.  

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There is a little game we play with our girl that goes back several years. Either during dinner time or while tucking into bed, we will ask “what was the best part about your day?”

As I sit here pondering my own moods of today, I heard my Greater Self ask me that same question.

So Victoria, what was the best part about you day?

Good question.

The smell of coffee was a nice moment as was biting into the chocolate toffee sea salt candy bar.

Well, those are nice physical pleasures, yes but what about those moments that moved my heart and Soul ~ that brought me OUT of my physical experience and into that space of Wholeness.

Hmmm.

I have to feel this one.  This isn’t as easy as I thought this would be.

What really moved me?

Well, playing the guitar was really helpful.  It allowed me to get into my creative space and into my heart where I felt the pain of missing my grandpa (30 years after he passed) after playing “Dog and Butterfly” as well as empowered me as I played “Higher Ground”.

And uh, well as embarrassing as this one is, this was actually really helpful for me and very releasing.  I literally got onto the ground and crawled like a small child, going up to my mate who was sitting on the couch and telling him if he were All Pure Source in its entire wholeness, I would hug his slippered foot and ask to be filled up again as I have felt empty for a very long time.  My mate then just stroked my head.

Then there was the moment when I looked out my window and saw my neighbor, an elderly woman, who carries a lot of pain, slowly walking to her car, huddling herself.  There is a lot to this story that I will not share, but for a moment I felt so much compassion for her ~ it was a wonderful moment to be brought out of my own self-focused angst of today.  I actually thought “whew thank goodness I am still capable of feeling that!”  I did have this fear today that I would never come out of the depths of my funk.

As I type this, my girl comes out, crawls into my lap.  I embrace her.  Her little breath was cool on my neck.  I had my eyes closed as we held on to one another in silence.  Opening my eyes I look down at her sweet face and see her eyes are closed as well.  She spoke.  “It looks like we both needed this right now mama.”

Tears immediately came.  Heart expansion.

Indeed we did, knowing right then that this was the moment of the day for me.

Ok energies~

Normally I can integrate and find some balance when you go wonky.

Normally rest and a nap suffice.

Not today.

Today the concept of remaining vertical is, let’s face it, impossible.

A “fall on your face” day.

I awoke feeling you ~ smelling sulfur coming out of me.

I started the day feeling hot.  Very hot.  As in open the windows so I can stabilize.

It’s cold here.  45 and cloudy.

And yet I was inside with a tank top, trying to remove the weight on my chest so I could breathe.  Oh, and cool myself down.

Cooling I received.

A couple hours later I am wrapped up in blankets, layers, heating buddies and laundry just out of the dryer ~ shivering.

Two naps later, my body feels more stable.

Perhaps that’s due to the 30 minute long anxiety attack I had.  Lots of shaking and releasing.

Breathe and let it go has been the mantra today.

I felt sudden, rather extreme frustration prior to taking one of my naps so I pulled out my punching bag.

Normally I can strike it about 150 blows before I have to rest.

Today?

10 blows and I was winded, leaning on the counter.

WTF??!!  lol

Today I feel powerless to release the angst within.

Maybe this is the extra weight that has shown up on my body recently.

A protection perhaps.

“I don’t know what to do anymore” are the words I just heard my mate mutter.

Other than continue to focus on what I desire and accepting how I feel, a paradox most of the time, I don’t either.

So there you have it energies.  If you have some words of wisdom to share, I am listening.  If not, well let’s get ‘er done.  Mama is ready to GO.